just keeping busy and just need to share my thoughts
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Join Date: Mar 2014
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just keeping busy and just need to share my thoughts
Side note journal: 12/5/14
I used to think I was a sun worshipper. I used to think that the light was the only way I felt safe and alive. Then I began to meditate. Then I began to see things through different eyes. I remember as a child, riding in the back seat of a 4 door 2 ton chevy. I remember the fields and how they looked when the moon was bright. So beautiful, so solitary, so strong. I imagined myself standing upon one of those hills in the most poetic way. I stood there with the wind in my face, in my hair, and in my soul. It was flowing through me like waves. I imagined someone who loved me, anyone, they were faceless; met me there. I was young, passionate, and yearning. I imagined they met me on top of that hill, in the middle of a lonely Nebraska sky, and whispered everything I wanted to hear about myself. I needed to hear about myself. The moon was always high. The light was shining down. It was beautiful beyond words.
When I began meditation: I always envisioned my “safe” place to be a place that was full of light and contentment. It was a place with many trees and rolling fields with a stream flowing through it. But no, that was not my place of meditation. My real true place was of safety was in the night. I began to place my “problems”, my heartaches, my despairs, unto a plank in the middle of a small stream that flowed through unknown territory…in the night. In the light of a bright beaming moon was where I watched my sorrows travel down the stream at a pace that I could follow. Very slowly, but they were leaving for good I knew.
I always thought my place of safety would be in the sun. But the night brings me more comfort than I give it credit for. God Bless the night, because the morning is always just around the corner
I used to think I was a sun worshipper. I used to think that the light was the only way I felt safe and alive. Then I began to meditate. Then I began to see things through different eyes. I remember as a child, riding in the back seat of a 4 door 2 ton chevy. I remember the fields and how they looked when the moon was bright. So beautiful, so solitary, so strong. I imagined myself standing upon one of those hills in the most poetic way. I stood there with the wind in my face, in my hair, and in my soul. It was flowing through me like waves. I imagined someone who loved me, anyone, they were faceless; met me there. I was young, passionate, and yearning. I imagined they met me on top of that hill, in the middle of a lonely Nebraska sky, and whispered everything I wanted to hear about myself. I needed to hear about myself. The moon was always high. The light was shining down. It was beautiful beyond words.
When I began meditation: I always envisioned my “safe” place to be a place that was full of light and contentment. It was a place with many trees and rolling fields with a stream flowing through it. But no, that was not my place of meditation. My real true place was of safety was in the night. I began to place my “problems”, my heartaches, my despairs, unto a plank in the middle of a small stream that flowed through unknown territory…in the night. In the light of a bright beaming moon was where I watched my sorrows travel down the stream at a pace that I could follow. Very slowly, but they were leaving for good I knew.
I always thought my place of safety would be in the sun. But the night brings me more comfort than I give it credit for. God Bless the night, because the morning is always just around the corner
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
Freetosmile....this is what I thought about as I was reading your beautifully descriptive post.....you are expressing what is at the core of everyone (I believe): The need to be "seen"'; the need to be "heard"; that our thoughts and feelings are important--that we matter.
When we are locked into relationships where this is not possible....it is like a strangulation of the soul. Death by a thousand paper cuts.....and one continues to feel invisible and lonely.....
Wow...you have got me feeling "deep" this morning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
dandylion
When we are locked into relationships where this is not possible....it is like a strangulation of the soul. Death by a thousand paper cuts.....and one continues to feel invisible and lonely.....
Wow...you have got me feeling "deep" this morning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
dandylion
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