back to day one
back to day one
had a week, was doing ok. I just started stressing and obsessing over Christmas with my mother. Back in October I told her I would drive her to San Antonio, stay on the Riverwalk and spend the week of Christmas there with her, (and my dog) in a hotel. I really wanted to be nice, my father died 3 years ago and since then I have tried very hard to spend a lot of time with her.
but this is going to be a lot of work, and hours of driving in the holiday traffic on the interstate, and I am just dreading it now. She is so happy about it, and I am just sorry I offered. I love her but she drives me crazy...and she never stops talking.
so what did I do? I drank at it. and now I feel very depressed.
not drinking now, got the rest of the beer out of here....I will not give up, I want to stay sober, will never give up
but this is going to be a lot of work, and hours of driving in the holiday traffic on the interstate, and I am just dreading it now. She is so happy about it, and I am just sorry I offered. I love her but she drives me crazy...and she never stops talking.
so what did I do? I drank at it. and now I feel very depressed.
not drinking now, got the rest of the beer out of here....I will not give up, I want to stay sober, will never give up
Thats it Trish dust yourself off and try again
try and look for positive things to do with mum that will bring you both joy ?
look up meetings in the area and stick close to SR
Reach out before you go and drink get that 2nd opinion you can lean on us for support 24/7
if you feel like this again 'play a truthful honest mental tape of yourself drinking' its never pretty
its a great deterrant but it comes down on your acceptance of the facts and you wanting to be sober more than you wanting to be drunk
glad your back giving it another go
try and look for positive things to do with mum that will bring you both joy ?
look up meetings in the area and stick close to SR
Reach out before you go and drink get that 2nd opinion you can lean on us for support 24/7
if you feel like this again 'play a truthful honest mental tape of yourself drinking' its never pretty
its a great deterrant but it comes down on your acceptance of the facts and you wanting to be sober more than you wanting to be drunk
glad your back giving it another go
thanks soberwolf
I hear what you are saying....
just getting a week feels like it takes a month to get there....I have such a hard time being able to see how I can live going forward without ever drinking---I know it is just a day at a time--but in those moments I can't see how I will be able to RE MAKE my self and my life with permanent sobriety.
and how I can get through something like a week in a hotel with my mother-
but I drank, and I came right back here, which is progress for me, I overcame my shame and sorrow and spilled my thoughts here, for that I am happy
thank you
and maybe I need SR on my phone, this all came down at the grocery store
I hear what you are saying....
just getting a week feels like it takes a month to get there....I have such a hard time being able to see how I can live going forward without ever drinking---I know it is just a day at a time--but in those moments I can't see how I will be able to RE MAKE my self and my life with permanent sobriety.
and how I can get through something like a week in a hotel with my mother-
but I drank, and I came right back here, which is progress for me, I overcame my shame and sorrow and spilled my thoughts here, for that I am happy
thank you
and maybe I need SR on my phone, this all came down at the grocery store
Definatly get SR on your mobile
and take your sobriety by the day dont think long term if its scary just take it bit by bit
for me i had to face facts i am a 32yo alcoholic and that will never change (believe me i tried)
i know drink is not the answer and only always makes things worse
you couldnt pay me a billion dollars/pounds to drink
when i realised woke up i seen what i was doing it was crazy horrible etc
it doesnt have to be that way
in 10 days il be 17 months sober first time ive ever been sober hopefully last
were here for you 24/7
and take your sobriety by the day dont think long term if its scary just take it bit by bit
for me i had to face facts i am a 32yo alcoholic and that will never change (believe me i tried)
i know drink is not the answer and only always makes things worse
you couldnt pay me a billion dollars/pounds to drink
when i realised woke up i seen what i was doing it was crazy horrible etc
it doesnt have to be that way
in 10 days il be 17 months sober first time ive ever been sober hopefully last
were here for you 24/7
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