blueyes618

So, I have been on here for almost a week and I honestly believed I had a slight drinking problem that was potentially getting worse. Come to find out today from talking with an addictions counselor for 90 minutes that I do in fact have a serious drinking problem. She gave me a standardized alcohol test which consisted of about 15 yes or no questions. I found myself answering yes to probably about 75% of them, but thought it was the normal answer. At the end she told me that if I scored 0-3 points I had no problem, 4-7 points I was borderline, and 8+ points was considered a problem, and 15+ is a serious problem. I scored a 27. I was shocked. I knew I had an issue, but I convinced myself it wasn't as bad as I thought. Complete denial. The rest of the session we talked about the role alcohol has played in my life, and after re-hashing the last ten years of my life I felt completely devastated. It wasn't until this moment that I had actually realized what alcohol has done to me, my family and any relationship I have ever had.. I feel so raw, so ashamed and embarrassed. It's like a bad dream that I can't wake up from. Is it weird to be in such shock over this???

Anna

No, I don't think it's weird. Denial is a classic symptom of alcoholism, which is how the disease takes such a strong hold on us. I was devastated when I finally accepted that I was an alcoholic. I knew I was drinking quite a bit, but was convinced I could stop when I wanted to. Not so much.

gettingsmarter

Don't ever forget the shock you are feeling.

LBrain

sometimes waking up is hard to do, but you did it!
I hope you are ready to commit to yourself that you'll never drink again.

What are your plans going forward? Still going to see this person? Did she offer a course for action?

Welcome to the club!

FreeOwl

sounds about right to me...

Hevyn

Blueyes - what matters is, you're taking action now. Be proud, not ashamed. Many of us have to have our lives fall apart before seeking help. You're doing all the right things to keep yourself from danger.

blueyes618

@Lbrain- I am going to see her once a week, and she told me to call her if I get the urge to drink. She wants me to go to at least 3 AA meetings a week, but I really don't want to go. I am painfully shy in large groups and I'm already embarrassed enough as it is. I know it's in my best interest to go and I will most likely change my mind after going, it's actually getting there that's the problem

LBrain

I'm sure everyone in that room was embarrassed the first time they went. Don't let that keep you from going.

Soberwolf

Great advice

SoberD

I had a similar test about 10 years ago and remember being very angry and defiant about the diagnosis of "alcohol dependent" - I wish I wouldn't have listened and taken action then to avoid the last decade of problems...

SoberD

I had a similar test about 10 years ago and remember being very angry and defiant about the diagnosis of "alcohol dependent" - I wish I wouldn't have listened and taken action then to avoid the last decade of problems...

least

Alcoholism is the only disease that tries to convince you that you don't have a disease.

Altoids

It really is a cunning disease, isn't it?

Frixion

Honestly I am very shy in large groups but yesterday I decided I would give it a shot. I went and I am so happy I did. They let me sit quietly in the far back. People were friendly but not overwhelming. They know you are struggling, and they will not make you speak you can just sit in the back and observe.

Check this out

Your First AA Meeting<

Dee74

I don't think it's weird at all - I think most of us were in denial to some extent at some time or another about your drinking.

You're in good company BlueEyes.

I know it's a shock but ultimately it's a good thing...now you know you have a problem you can start to deal with it

D