So since I posted last
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Newport beach, CA
Posts: 52
So since I posted last
I made it to thirty days. Huge accomplishment. Unfortunately, since then I have had a few glasses of wine about five times. My mother and father in law came to visit and they drive me bonkers. I figured to myself that I made it thirty days, so a few glasses here and there would be fine. I haven't been drunk or even heavily buzzed, but truthfully I was rarely drunk when I was a heavy drinker. My problem was how often and I believe that I have a problem with alcohol. I am having family members visit again in a month and it's been on my mind. I drank heavily with all three of these people and for some reason I'm having a hard time killing the buzz and being honest about my problem. After all, they all still drink daily and don't see a prob with it. They are all very high functioning and are never drunk, so that's what they're sticking to.
I have lost some steam. I want to be completely sober and stop falling into my excuse mentality. I drank wine last night and handled it fine, but did have to hide it from my husband. That's a problem.
He has been sober for four years, and had an alcohol problem that shocked even me.
Anyway, I need help my friends. I need a way of telling my family members that are comin to visit, that we no longer have drinking in common. They will be here on Xmas and I believe that I har relapsed a few times because I fear the inevitable drink when they arrive just to avoid the conversation. I feel like a coward who is having trouble standing up to peer pressure. I don't want to be a drinker even if it's moderate, because I know where that road ends up. Heavy drinking daily, gastritis, a sad expression, weight gain, the list goes on.
Any encouragement would help.
I have lost some steam. I want to be completely sober and stop falling into my excuse mentality. I drank wine last night and handled it fine, but did have to hide it from my husband. That's a problem.
He has been sober for four years, and had an alcohol problem that shocked even me.
Anyway, I need help my friends. I need a way of telling my family members that are comin to visit, that we no longer have drinking in common. They will be here on Xmas and I believe that I har relapsed a few times because I fear the inevitable drink when they arrive just to avoid the conversation. I feel like a coward who is having trouble standing up to peer pressure. I don't want to be a drinker even if it's moderate, because I know where that road ends up. Heavy drinking daily, gastritis, a sad expression, weight gain, the list goes on.
Any encouragement would help.
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
Hi.
My salvation was/is going to a lot of AA meetings and listening along with identifying with the successful folks.
I also needed to be honest with myself about MY drinking and accept the fact I cannot drink one day at a time in a row in safety.
Reading a lot of post here would be useful also.
BE WELL
My salvation was/is going to a lot of AA meetings and listening along with identifying with the successful folks.
I also needed to be honest with myself about MY drinking and accept the fact I cannot drink one day at a time in a row in safety.
Reading a lot of post here would be useful also.
BE WELL
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: PA
Posts: 12,000
well now... you made it thirty days and conquered it - celebrate with a glass of wine...
you drank wine and handled it fine last night but you had to hide it from your husband -
IF YOU HAD TO HIDE IT, THEN IT WASN'T HANDLING IT FINE - imho
One thing I pick out is that you are comparing yourself to others who drink. - DON'T!
Your problem is your problem. Comparing yourself to others will always lead you to believe that you can handle drinking - you are assuming that they are normal drinkers. It doesn't really matter. If you think you have a problem and wish to end it, then focus on yourself. Don't worry what others do.
Come up with a plan to make it through the holidays. Confide in your husband and enlist his help. Since he has been sober 4 years, he must be doing something right. Make it a team effort.
What did you do for those thirty days you didn't drink? You can do this, you just have to be more vigilant to carry it forward. Set a goal of 90 days next. Then set a new goal. Keep making those short term goals and they will add up to long term sobriety. Just don't celebrate with a drink every time. Celebrate with a feeling of satisfaction and up the ante every time. If you need to set a goal one just one day, then make that your goal for now. Best of luck. You know you can do this.
you drank wine and handled it fine last night but you had to hide it from your husband -
IF YOU HAD TO HIDE IT, THEN IT WASN'T HANDLING IT FINE - imho
One thing I pick out is that you are comparing yourself to others who drink. - DON'T!
Your problem is your problem. Comparing yourself to others will always lead you to believe that you can handle drinking - you are assuming that they are normal drinkers. It doesn't really matter. If you think you have a problem and wish to end it, then focus on yourself. Don't worry what others do.
Come up with a plan to make it through the holidays. Confide in your husband and enlist his help. Since he has been sober 4 years, he must be doing something right. Make it a team effort.
What did you do for those thirty days you didn't drink? You can do this, you just have to be more vigilant to carry it forward. Set a goal of 90 days next. Then set a new goal. Keep making those short term goals and they will add up to long term sobriety. Just don't celebrate with a drink every time. Celebrate with a feeling of satisfaction and up the ante every time. If you need to set a goal one just one day, then make that your goal for now. Best of luck. You know you can do this.
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Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 1,222
Originally Posted by escapethecycle2 
I made it to thirty days. Huge accomplishment. Unfortunately, since then I have had a few glasses of wine about five times.
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Newport beach, CA
Posts: 52
Lbrain, thanks for that!
Yeah, you're right. I'm starting to compare. I think it's absolutely correct to say that I need a longer goal now. I want to stop drinking now in my twenties before it progresses to where my parents are. They are both high functioning alcoholics and def don't think they have a problem. I think it's sad to ever live that way, and that's what I'm saying no to. For that month I was happier than I've ever been, that's gotta day something.
I really just don't like the rationalizations that are coming with recovery. I want my booze brain to shut up and stop telling me that I can be normal. I don't believe it's normal to drink everyday, even if it's a glass, but that's just me.
Thanks for responding in a very detailed an direct way.
Yeah, you're right. I'm starting to compare. I think it's absolutely correct to say that I need a longer goal now. I want to stop drinking now in my twenties before it progresses to where my parents are. They are both high functioning alcoholics and def don't think they have a problem. I think it's sad to ever live that way, and that's what I'm saying no to. For that month I was happier than I've ever been, that's gotta day something.
I really just don't like the rationalizations that are coming with recovery. I want my booze brain to shut up and stop telling me that I can be normal. I don't believe it's normal to drink everyday, even if it's a glass, but that's just me.
Thanks for responding in a very detailed an direct way.
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Newport beach, CA
Posts: 52
Originally Posted by ubntubnt
Did your AV tell you that it was ok to have a few glasses of wine given your amazing accomplishment? Was a mistake eh? Lesson learned?
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Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: South West of England
Posts: 218
I don't know about you, Escape but I'm just about to hit the 30 day mark and here are some people I've told why I've stopped drinking and there are those I haven't yet. There are many, many more that I'll never tell - it's nobody's business but mine.
However, I've found that the most important person to tell is yourself. Until you really believe you'll never drink again you'll always have the option that it's a possibility.
if you don't want to tell people the reasons why you're not drinking - after all it isn't their right to know - just have a handy excuse ready.
Drinking gives me a dangerously high blood pressure so I tell some people that's why I'm not drinking. It's not the real reason cos I chose to ignore it for years and years - but it's not a lie either.
All the best with what you decide
However, I've found that the most important person to tell is yourself. Until you really believe you'll never drink again you'll always have the option that it's a possibility.
if you don't want to tell people the reasons why you're not drinking - after all it isn't their right to know - just have a handy excuse ready.
Drinking gives me a dangerously high blood pressure so I tell some people that's why I'm not drinking. It's not the real reason cos I chose to ignore it for years and years - but it's not a lie either.
All the best with what you decide
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Newport beach, CA
Posts: 52
Originally Posted by Hendrix
I don't know about you, Escape but I'm just about to hit the 30 day mark and here are some people I've told why I've stopped drinking and there are those I haven't yet. There are many, many more that I'll never tell - it's nobody's business but mine.
However, I've found that the most important person to tell is yourself. Until you really believe you'll never drink again you'll always have the option that it's a possibility.
if you don't want to tell people the reasons why you're not drinking - after all it isn't their right to know - just have a handy excuse ready.
Drinking gives me a dangerously high blood pressure so I tell some people that's why I'm not drinking. It's not the real reason cos I chose to ignore it for years and years - but it's not a lie either.
All the best with what you decide
However, I've found that the most important person to tell is yourself. Until you really believe you'll never drink again you'll always have the option that it's a possibility.
if you don't want to tell people the reasons why you're not drinking - after all it isn't their right to know - just have a handy excuse ready.
Drinking gives me a dangerously high blood pressure so I tell some people that's why I'm not drinking. It's not the real reason cos I chose to ignore it for years and years - but it's not a lie either.
All the best with what you decide
Goal setting is what works for me, so that's how I go about it. When I set goals, I follow through, surprisingly. Thanks for responding, I'm feeling low.
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Join Date: Sep 2014
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If your worried what people will think don't. I've found that the only one that cared about that was me. Actually they thought a lot less of me when I was drunk. Tell them it's because of health issues. (Not a lie). If they are insecure about being around sober people then they have their own issues to deal with.
If your hiding your drinking, that should give you a clue that it's time to seriously consider putting it down. I did that for years as progressed into a very messy addiction.
You made it 30 days! That's an accomplishment. Now you just have to get past life's events that you'd normally drink through. It takes some work at first but eventually the temptation fades and it becomes normal.
You can do this. Good luck!
If your hiding your drinking, that should give you a clue that it's time to seriously consider putting it down. I did that for years as progressed into a very messy addiction.
You made it 30 days! That's an accomplishment. Now you just have to get past life's events that you'd normally drink through. It takes some work at first but eventually the temptation fades and it becomes normal.
You can do this. Good luck!
Life is an unlikely miracle.
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: England
Posts: 1,859
Escape, Hendrix beat me to it.
I'm often around old drinking partners (my job) and I just tell them I've stopped for health reasons, which is largely true anyway- stomach pains, like you.
I find that much easier than producing a whole speech about the ins and outs of it.
I'm often around old drinking partners (my job) and I just tell them I've stopped for health reasons, which is largely true anyway- stomach pains, like you.
I find that much easier than producing a whole speech about the ins and outs of it.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
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As you have seen, the problem with setting goals is...what happens after you reach the goal tho?
What do you think is stopping you from committing to permanent sobriety escapethecycle?
do you have an innate desire to be the kind of drinker where a couple of glasses here and there is fine?
D
What do you think is stopping you from committing to permanent sobriety escapethecycle?
do you have an innate desire to be the kind of drinker where a couple of glasses here and there is fine?
D
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