sfulton

Hi Everyone, I found this site this evening when i was doing googling about alcoholism and joined, so this is my first time posting. I have a difficult situation I'm dealing with and would love feedback if others have dealt with this and how they handled it. My sobriety date is 11/11/13, so I just celebrated my one year anniversary. Initially my husband and i got sober together. We separated a year ago because at that point his drinking was out of control and I couldn't handle it so new in my own recovery. We did reconcile in January and both were in AA together. He stayed sober for just over 5 months. He began drinking again roughly just before Father's Day in June. It started with beer, and although not happy, I relunctantly agreed to not give him a hard time for the beer drinking. Over these last 6 months the frequency has increased and he is easily back up to a 6 pack of beer at least 3-4 times a week. I've been clear these last 6 months that the one thing I would not tolerate is liqour back in the house.

I've suspected for months that he was sneaking liqour and yes I would snoop for evidence, but never finding anything. We had a really bad weekend this past weekend and I was so sure that he had been drinking liqour friday evening when things really blew up as I know the signs with him. This morning after he left for work (I work nights, he works days) I went through the recycling bin and found 3 miniature liqour bottles. I was furious and we had a huge blow-up over it. Over the last 24 hours there has been a lot of hurtful things said, but I still can't get over this whole liqour thing. He swears it was only once and it was on Halloween, but I just feel it was a slap in the face to my sobriety.

Anyone else have suggestions on how to handle sobriety with a spouse that is still drinking and is unsupportive of your sobriety? I've been sober for over a year and don't want to lose all the hard work I've built up.

suki44883

Welcome to SR, sfulton. You will find a lot of support here.

His drinking has nothing to do with your sobriety. He drinks because he is a drinker. Is he an alcoholic? I don't know, but the fact that he is obviously hiding his drinking from you says a lot. He is NOT drinking AT you; he's drinking because that's what he wants to do.

We have a wonderful friends and family forum where you will find many people dealing with these same issues. Here's a link...

Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

I hope you'll stick around and do a lot of reading and posting. It will help.