eyestothesky

Hello all! I'm new to the site so please bare with me. My best friend of 7 years is currently serving a 2 year jail sentence. He is addicted to pain meds, alcohol, and gambling.Prior to his incarceration I bailed on our friendship. It was all becoming too painful and the complication of our opposite sex friendship (strictly platonic, but emotionally intimate)was interfering with both of our romantic relationships.He just wrote me and said he is going to an inpatient rehab for at least a month. Although this sounds hopeful, I can't help but think he's only doing this to get out of jail. If that's the case is there any hope that rehab will be effective? Thoughts? Experiences? I wrote him back with optimistic support, but I'm afraid it's just another line of bs.

Ann

Some say that they have to "want" recovery to do well at rehab...others say that it doesn't matter how you got there, rehab is going to help you and it's up to you what you do with that help.

I worked at a rehab for two years, 15 residents from all over the province. I'd say the ones who came willingly and the ones who opted for rehab over jail, did about the same. Regardless of how they got their, their success was directly related to their willingness to stay clean once they put in some quality time.

I hope your friend makes out well.

Hugs

cynical one

Any treatment is better than no treatment.

eyestothesky

Thank you so much Ann, your experience is truly appreciated.

eyestothesky

You are right Cynical One, thanks for the articles. They served as valuable reminders that his addiction is indeed not a personal attack on myself or his family. Now is the time for me to work on my own issues of co-dependency.

Xtreem

I see it this way -

You can lead a horse to water but you cant make him drink.

However, if you make a horse thirsty enough, they will drink.

Most treatment centers are fairly good at making the horse thirsty.

(In hindsight, using the"thirsty" analogy may not have been the best choice - haha)

eyestothesky

Well, he was released from jail last week on a hefty bond and given the condition that he must go to inpatient rehab. As I suspected, he doesn 't seem serious about this. After seeeing his kids, he came to my place and had already been drinking and gambling.He promised that he hadn't used pills...who knows? He thinks he is only going for a week, although his parents told me at least 28 days. Once again, I suggested that he take the opportunity to really get some help. I let him know that I would be his friend, but I would not make anymore loans to him or be involved in helping him find drugs. I wanted to say more, but I held back.I'm sure he knows how I feel. Now the work is left to him. I'm so glad he has been blessed with this opportunity, I just pray that once he gets there he will see that. It's so sad to think there are people that can't afford these services, I'm hoping he chooses to help himself.

CAPTAINZING2000

It appears the seriousness of his predictment isn't sinking in yet.
Staying clean and sober is hard enough when you want to get well.

There's always hope, someone or something will be said or done at the treatment center to create a spark.