I want a new way of life
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 14
I want a new way of life
I just joined this site. I had my last drink today. I do not want to drink anymore. I've tried and failed many times to get sober. Every time I tried a little bit harder than the time before, but I always exercised my own will in there, always. I'm scared now because I'm shy to go back to my home group.. and I don't think I want to use the same sponsor I began working with several months ago. But I can't let my fear hold me back as it has in the past. I won't.
Today I looked up the definition of self-pity and found:"excessive, self-absorbed unhappiness over one's own troubles."
I had never thought of it like that before. It's like I'm just realizing I have the power to choose - I can stop drinking and obsess over that decision until I go back on it and succumb to that persistent voice in my head. OR I can stop drinking and embrace it! Plough through the fear to the other side, meet life head on. I don't want to wallow in self-pity.
I know at 10 am tomorrow when the stores open I may not be so optimistic so I'm writing this now to look back on it.
I'm happy to be here on this forum, thanks for listening.
Today I looked up the definition of self-pity and found:"excessive, self-absorbed unhappiness over one's own troubles."
I had never thought of it like that before. It's like I'm just realizing I have the power to choose - I can stop drinking and obsess over that decision until I go back on it and succumb to that persistent voice in my head. OR I can stop drinking and embrace it! Plough through the fear to the other side, meet life head on. I don't want to wallow in self-pity.
I know at 10 am tomorrow when the stores open I may not be so optimistic so I'm writing this now to look back on it.
I'm happy to be here on this forum, thanks for listening.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 5,785
Welcome butterflycher! I am glad you're here. You've found a good site to help you help stop drinking with awesome people for support. One of the things that you might find very helpful is there are Tuesday and Friday night chat meetings at 9p CST.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,564
You're not alone - and we're so glad to have you with us ButterflyCher.
Congratulations on making this huge decision - you'll never regret reclaiming your life. It will feel wonderful to be free.
Congratulations on making this huge decision - you'll never regret reclaiming your life. It will feel wonderful to be free.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Sarasota, FL
Posts: 223
Welcome!! Don't let your disease tell u not to reach out. I encourage u to go back to your home group and find support there too. There are lots of us who have fallen off the wagon and hoisted ourselves up again! I appreciate your post-especially the definition of self pity- I suffer with a lot of that. I didn't even realize it until u posted it so u helped me! I hope u continue to come back!
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: east coast
Posts: 451
Welcome! Loved your post...I never knew the true definition of self pity thanks to you now I do. To see it written like that gives me a sort of empowerment over it. Thx again and keep posting and reading. It has made the world of difference for me this time around. As far as your home group go back and give it a try. If it don't feel right find another one. I personall take a little from all the recovery programs. I really like avrt . But all in all I think they all have something positive to offer. Bottom line don't give up!
You can do this. Have a little faith in yourself and get support anywhere you can find it. 
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 14
Thanks all for the encouragement, and YES! I'm making it part of the plan to log onto here every day. 
Mistory: I had to Google avrt - very interesting. I am definitely going back to my home group when they meet again tomorrow and going to other meetings in the meantime (lucky that in my tiny town there is still a meeting a day) and am going to learn more about this avrt too. Thanks!
Mistory: I had to Google avrt - very interesting. I am definitely going back to my home group when they meet again tomorrow and going to other meetings in the meantime (lucky that in my tiny town there is still a meeting a day) and am going to learn more about this avrt too. Thanks!
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