Emotions are all over the place
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Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 3
Emotions are all over the place
Hello,
I have been lurking on this site for several weeks after someone suggested it to me. It has been very helpful!! I have been married for 20 years; for the last 6 years or so my husband has been drinking heavily off and on. (But mostly on!) I finally started reading my codependency books again and became really motivated to change my life after I had a "special" birthday that reminded me that life is short.
So, I pretty much gave him the skinny; either he gets treatment or I'm filing for divorce. He started outpatient treatment but didn't engage in it at all and would go out drinking every 1-2 weeks; I practiced my detachment skills. In between we'd have really good days together and I would feel elated (like this is going to work!) then my hopes would be dashed when he would disappear from the house and come back drunk after I was asleep. This has continued to this day, my emotional roller coaster. I am seeing a therapist too which has helped. I want to go to Al-Anon meetings but there are only 3 in town, and they are during my work time.
So last week he got an OWI--ughhh. Now he's decided to step up his treatment, is seeing his counselor twice a week, and going to 4+ AA meetings a week. He saw his counselor today and he agreed to go to intensive outpatient treatment; this is M-Th for 4 hours. He starts this Wednesday. I don't want to get my hopes up too high; I just know I can't keep going emotionally up and down like this! I pretty much decided not to make a decision re filing papers until after the holidays.
Thanks for hearing my story.
I have been lurking on this site for several weeks after someone suggested it to me. It has been very helpful!! I have been married for 20 years; for the last 6 years or so my husband has been drinking heavily off and on. (But mostly on!) I finally started reading my codependency books again and became really motivated to change my life after I had a "special" birthday that reminded me that life is short.
So, I pretty much gave him the skinny; either he gets treatment or I'm filing for divorce. He started outpatient treatment but didn't engage in it at all and would go out drinking every 1-2 weeks; I practiced my detachment skills. In between we'd have really good days together and I would feel elated (like this is going to work!) then my hopes would be dashed when he would disappear from the house and come back drunk after I was asleep. This has continued to this day, my emotional roller coaster. I am seeing a therapist too which has helped. I want to go to Al-Anon meetings but there are only 3 in town, and they are during my work time.
So last week he got an OWI--ughhh. Now he's decided to step up his treatment, is seeing his counselor twice a week, and going to 4+ AA meetings a week. He saw his counselor today and he agreed to go to intensive outpatient treatment; this is M-Th for 4 hours. He starts this Wednesday. I don't want to get my hopes up too high; I just know I can't keep going emotionally up and down like this! I pretty much decided not to make a decision re filing papers until after the holidays.
Thanks for hearing my story.
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Mmmmmm
Posts: 3,178
Welcome WildRaspberry!
SR has a lot of threads and resources. I am glad to hear you've been reading a bit and decided to post!
I sure pray your H buys in to his IOP and makes some changes. I swing on a similar swing regarding my marriage. I think holding off until after holidays is reasonable if you feel OK with it.
SR has a lot of threads and resources. I am glad to hear you've been reading a bit and decided to post!
I sure pray your H buys in to his IOP and makes some changes. I swing on a similar swing regarding my marriage. I think holding off until after holidays is reasonable if you feel OK with it.
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: right here, right now
Posts: 6,516
Welcome -- and sorry you find yourself needing to be here!
I hope that's the wake-up call he needs. It's so different what wakes different addicts up -- Axh's therapist said most men will hit bottom when they lose their job or their family, if not before, but he also warned me that there are those that don't seem to have a bottom. My AXH appears to be one of them.
And it's so cool to see how detachment and other things you can learn from reading codependency books actually work -- even if you can't make it to an Al-Anon meeting.
I'm glad you're here. Hang out, chat, vent, cry, ask questions, and GOOD LUCK!
I hope that's the wake-up call he needs. It's so different what wakes different addicts up -- Axh's therapist said most men will hit bottom when they lose their job or their family, if not before, but he also warned me that there are those that don't seem to have a bottom. My AXH appears to be one of them.
And it's so cool to see how detachment and other things you can learn from reading codependency books actually work -- even if you can't make it to an Al-Anon meeting.
I'm glad you're here. Hang out, chat, vent, cry, ask questions, and GOOD LUCK!
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