ReadyAtLast

I hope this thread helps and gives hope and support for those many people looking to quit drinking at what possibly may be considered the worst possible time of year for doing it.

I first joined SR in January 2012 under another name. I was 37 and married with a young child. My drinking was probably typical of many women in that I'd suffered from low self esteem and lacking in confidence as a teenager. I then discovered this amazing substance that suddenly made me confident, funny and the life and soul of the party. I could socialize -it was fabulous.

Through my 20s my career and social life revolved around drinking. Of course there were a few embarrassing incidents and a few relationships that failed because of my drinking but nothing serious-everyone did it didn't they?

By my 30s most of my friends were settling down and drinking 'normally' whereas my drinking and my life seemed slightly more out of control. What was funny and cute at 25 suddenly makes you look an embarrassing mess once you hit your 30s. I stopped going out as much as it was easier and safer to drink at home. I'd tried to quit many times as knew deep down that I had a problem. I'd managed a month here and there so surely I didn't really have a problem did I?

During 2012 I had a few stints of 4 weeks/6 weeks of sobriety with the help of SR but somehow that just showed me I was ok and could drink 'normally' .Of course, the first night I had a couple of glasses, no problem, but then it became slightly out of control again. Nothing had changed. I then understood that nothing changes if nothing changes.

In December 2012 out of shame I changed my name and started again on SR. Dishonest, I know but I was just so ashamed. I can't really pinpoint what had exactly changed. There was not 1 specifc incident. I hadn't a rock bottom moment as such-but I just knew that it was my bottom and nothing would change.

So I quit on 8 December 2012. I even thought of the craziness of giving up just before the festive season but knew that was how low I was that I could not put it off till tomorrow AGAIN. Tomorrow never really comes. I was on SR day and night, I used Rational Recovery/AVRT and read so much I hope this thread helps and gives hope and support for those many people looking to quit drinking at what possibly may be considered the worst possible time of year for doing it.

One thing that so many people said which still stays with me today is that their lives have changed so much for the better since getting sober. I didn't think my life would change that much but could not have been more wrong. In the last 2 years I have changed mentally, physically and emotionally, all in ways for the better.

I look better-my skin is clear, my hair shines, I have lost weight, I have so much more energy. I never wake up with a hangover and no matter how tired I am or how little sleep I have had I always thank God that I don't have a hangover when I wake up as know I will feel better as the day goes on. when I am ill it is because I am ill, not hungover.

I have suffered from depression and anxiety all my life, together with a lack of self confidence and low self esteem. I thought drinking eased it but in fact it made it worse. Now, my depression has gone, my anxiety,whilst still slightly there, has eased immensely and is well managed.

I have moved to another country and now live in a remote area where I grow my own vegetables and have chickens. My son and I are happy. He has settled in well and I have also. For the first time in my life I am the person I was meant to be and not pretending to be someone I am not. I have made true friends.

It has been difficult too. I have recently taken the decision to end a toxic marriage where my husband still drank. It was easy to hide and ignore problems when drinking but when sober everything has to be faced. However, over the last month I have felt peace of mind and a strength I never knew I had. Whilst sad, I know it is the right decision.

The most important thing is that I have peace of mind and a serenity I never knew existed. I am true to myself and others around me. For those looking to quit, please do it today. It really will be the best thing you have ever done.

Thank you to all for reading this and thank you to all on SR for your help and support over the past 2 years

OklaBH

Wow! Just wow! Curious, what was the difference the last time/final you gave it up? Hats off to you!

Hawkeye13

I know for me I just felt like finally I was done.
No more "maybe later I can drink normally"
No more justifications for just one drink.

I let it go and am so thankful every day that I did.

Thank you RAL for sharing your journey.
There really is hope for a good life after drinking.
You kind of have to live it to believe it--at least I did.

Mountainmanbob

I totally agree with you ReadyAtLast

for a drunk like me
this sober life has proven to be what I was always looking for

one can look and look
but
nothing truly happens until we put the plug in the jug

MM

Lusher

Hey ReadyAtLast- Very moving. You have really done well with your recovery and I hope this post gets a lot of eyes on it, especially for the people who are pondering if they really want to quit.

Also, congrats on the two years come next week!!!




Lusher

daybyday434

Awesome story:-)

Inchworm

Thank you, Ready.

ReadyAtLast

Hi,
The difference wasn't necessarily something that made me stop. It was the way I dealt with the obstacles along the way once I'd quit that was different. Over the years I've learnt that I CAN stop for a week or 2 or 4 etc. The hardest thing for me is staying stopped beyond that.

During 2012 each time I seriously quit it was forever but didn't last.the longest I lasted was 6 weeks then went back. I knew then, and now, that I would (and still do, to some extent) get times when I want a drink. That will probably never stop. The thing I did differently was learning how to deal with the cravings and understand that they do pass although at the time it seems like they never will.The cravings really do lessen in time though and I would now describe them as fleeting when they do happen.

I read and practise urge surfing and read much about mindfulness which is fantastic

What is Urge Surfing? | Urge Surf

Urge Surfing – Relapse Prevention – Mindfulness

In the early days for me, it really was just breaking the habit and learning to do new things plus learning how to deal with real, raw emotions without a crutch. It was hard and heart breaking at times but you really do get through it.

I knew if I kept picking up again after 4-6 weeks then that was going to be the cycle of my life, and worse

439trish

thank you for taking the time to post your story there Ready, I need to hear how staying sober has made life better for people, of course rationally I can think why it would be, but hearing it in details really helps someone like me who has trouble getting past certain triggers that make me think, oh well- what is the big deal about staying sober - what is so great - what did it really do to make life seem so much better

I congratulate you on your staying sober-and for all you have achieved within yourself and in your life

what a cool story.

strategery

Congratulations on almost 2 years! That is amazing! Your story really resonated with me and inspired me. Thank you so much for sharing!!

ReadyAtLast

Thank you.

I was where you are. I thought my life would be a bit better perhaps. I thought it would be the same life but just a bit different/better. Everyone said it would be better but I could never have imagined just how much much better and how different my life is.

I know some of the life changes I've taken aren't necessarily ones that most people would or could do. But they have worked for me, and crucially none of it would have happened had I not got sober.

I look back on myself, say 3 years ago, and I am a totally different person. Whilst I'm still me ( a bit!!) I hope I am a better person

Anna

This is such a great thread and I'm glad you came back to explain your recovery journey. It's not always a straight line and it doesn't always go the way that we expect, but the bottom line is that you (and your son) are happy and at peace.

Sinderos

Thank you for this. It gives me hope.

neferkamichael

ReadyAtLast, FANTASTIC thread, thank you very much. Yes there is hope for us drunks and the support don't get any better than right here, rootin for everyone.

hayley86

Thanks for sharing, ReadyAtLast. Congrats on your sober time!

Rina

Thank you for the hopeful post!

Leshar

Thank you for this wonderful post.
It gives me hope to carry on through some difficulties at present.

Conquest

Thank you so much for your post. It is so encouraging and put a big smile on my face. (The idea of moving to a different country, a garden, chickens... just beautiful. Wow!) Best wishes for continued success and happiness

JanieJ

Thank you RAL, for your inspiring post. I' m so happy that you have found peace in your life, too.

Soberjoy1

Wonderful, inspiring post. I love to read threads like this-thanks for sharing your story.