mje124

Hi Guys and Gals - hope you are all doing ok

Am on 24 days now and feeling ok .......a constant low level anxiety but am used to that

My concern is that honestly all I am doing is white knuckling and even I know that no one alive can do that forever

I go to my home group AA once a week and enjoy it but as I am shy I haven't spoken yet or got a sponsor - I hang around after meetings with my phone in my hand telling myself just ask but courage fails ...

See my counsellor once a week and have mentioned it but he has yet to say anything meaningful and I can't start to address anxiety till have completed a good sober period

tis December tomorrow and alcohol is bombarded at you left right and centre so am getting in early for some idea's from you experts as I really don't want / can't face another day 1

thanks for reading and any advice much appreciated

love all

Mike

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

IOAA2

Hi and congratulations.

Unless things have changed in the last 35 years I’m not aware of the advice is to go to 90 meetings in 90 days. It’s a very good suggestion and we get what we sow.
Doing that we see and hear more people and am exposed to more help. It gives less temptation during those hours in attendance. And on and on.
One thing that certainly helps me and others is to get involved in a couple groups activities by helping and participating.
And above all we don’t drink one day at a time in a row.

BE WELL

Xtreem

Welcome aboard MJE

Good to see you here, good to see you posting.

Lyricchi

I agree with IOAA2: 90 in 90 really helped me in the past. I am struggling too and have been on a merry-go-round of relapse, so I'm really writing this for selfish reasons as much as anything (hopefully I'll read this back when it gets hard). I can relate to you saying you feel like you're white knuckling it. I have felt the same, thinking 'this will never last'. But I found that no matter if I was white knuckling it, going to a recovery meeting every day planted what needed to be planted within me so that, sure enough, one day I realized I wanted to be at that meeting. The next day I realized I hadn't thought of drinking in x amount of time. Of course you may say 'what good did it do you since you relapsed and are not yet a day sober?'. But I chose to relapse. I chose to go to fewer meetings which (for me) was very bad, and that it made it easier to listen to that constant whisper in my ear that wants me to drink (which I now call my addicted voice).

Thanks for sharing, and good luck. I know it's so hard, but if you work it really is worth it! Take it from me who didn't work it.

RDBplus3

Hang in there mje,
There is a saying in AA, "don't drink and go to meetings". There is another saying, "keep coming back, it works if you work it". In my experience, the saying, "keep coming back, it works if you work it" is the one that works. I drank for 40 years, and I struggled HARD when I tried to get sober, same as you describe. I am now 1 year, Sober & FREE, and I know you can be too. I was told by a person in AA that had a lot of time & experience, that the best way to handle fear is to 'white knuckle' thru it, and see where you come out on the other side. It is a worthwhile adventure, making it thru a fear-ridden challenge that affects our very life.

A suggestion based on my experience - FORCE yourself, if needs be, to approach whoever is the chairperson for your next meeting and ask for them to help you find a sponsor they would recommend. The AA Steps WORK, but only if you WORK them, and they only worked for me when I actually FORCED myself, in spite of my paralyzing uncomfortable feelings, and WORKED them.(Under the guidance of my sponsor)

RDBplus3...Finally Sober & FREE

huntingtontx

Mje, you are in a wonderful supportive place here in SR. We are all here for you, all the time. One day at a time, one hour at a time, one minute at a time. These early days can be hard. Keep in mind, the urge to drink goes away in a few minutes. When it hits, get busy with something else. Take a walk, shower, eat a snack. I am glad you have a support system in place. Mostly it is up to you. You have to be your best support system. I spent a lot of time in the chat room in my early days. It really worked for me. I am here for you. You can always private message me or post on my wall. I will always answer. We are all here for each other. It does get easier. Hang in there. You are doing great.

RDBplus3

Another recommendation I would like to make, because it was recommended to me, and it helped immensely, is to say the 3rd step prayer, repeatedly when needs be.

3rd Step Prayer
God, I offer myself to You--to build with me and to do with me according to Your will.* Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Your will.* Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Your Power, Your Love, and Your Way of Life.* May I do Your will always!
(Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 63)

Another thing that helped in 'white-knuckle' times, was to continually pray, "God direct my thinking, God direct my thinking, God direct my thinking" - as long as it takes.

These are recommendations that were given to me, and they worked for me...

RDBplus3...Sober & FREE

mje124

thanks guys

yes you are right I need to put more in to get more out - thanks RD for the force yourself - that really hit home as I haven't been and taking the easy option and I know deep down I MUST expand my comfort zones - hell I might even like it!

Suppose feeling a bit overwhelmed with xmas approaching and the realisation that for the last 25 years other than work (and that got dodgy to say the least) and sleep (such as it was) I haven't done anything without my safety net....................guess the hard work starts here

mike

x

FreeOwl

Have you got yourself a Big Book? That's an easy first action. Start reading it. Read it all.

Google 'AA step one workbook' - you'll find tons. Download a few of them... Start working them. That's another easy, accessible, ACTION.

Real recovery takes courage and honesty and change through ACTION.

Keep going to meetings. Keep posting here.

Keep your eye out for members at your home group who seem to really walk the walk. Eventually someone will stand out to you.... Ask if they will sponsor you through the first couple of steps. Start there.

ACTION.

mje124

thanks freeowl

onto it as I type and made it a mission to get a number at home group tonight

mike

Mountainmanbob

Congratulations Mike with your 24 days sober
oh yes - I still remember when I couldn't get 24 minutes

I would recommend picking up more weekly AA meetings
at least for the first few months

Bob

PurpleKnight

Still early days Mike, keep building that Sober time and things will get easier, but as others have said, building more support and Sober tools might be a good idea!!

Great job on Day 24!!

Dee74

Congrats on your sober time mje

why not start going early and staying late at your meeting - help set up/tidy up - you might meet more people that way?

D

Hawks

My experience with AA members is simply that the majority of older / long term sober members will be very happy to help, but you have to ask.

They were once in your position and state of mind.

Difference is, Doctors / counselling people etc. didn't dish up labels like "social phobia / anxiety" etc. 20 years ago.

But still, they all had to learn to conquer their shyness and go ask..... And so will you.

Just do it and see what happens

Soberwolf

Well done mike reaching out is a massive tool in sobriety

i was the same it gets easier