HerLastNerve

Hi everyone,

I have been reading the posts in this forum, and have seen myself in the experiences of several other members here. This is my first post since joining many moons ago, but I'm hoping that an objective and rational outlook from others might help. If details are needed I can provide them, but so as to not bore anyone too much, I'll try my best to summarize. Please forgive me if it doesn't make much sense, as I'm overwhelmed with trying to make sense of how to get myself re-calibrated.

I finally just started a job after leaving and divorcing AH earlier this year. The job is temporary, but hopefully will become permanent. This job is like a life raft to me, because while trying to find work, I used my savings living in a hotel that I could afford which allows large dogs with a letter from a therapist. Add to that food, transportation costs for traveling to the career center every week, visiting caseworkers, and getting to interviews, savings inevitably ran out. No more room at the inn due to insufficient funds, same for the ONE other hotel that allows large dogs. I am having trouble finding temporary foster placement for my therapy dog while I live out of my car until I can save again. Rehabilitation Center is like molasses, due to the holidays. Timing is off for a lot of things. Shelters that allow large dogs are full also due to the holidays, so living with XAH is the stopgap solution in the meantime. Not having any children, I am low priority for emergency temporary county assistance anyway, job or not. Caseworkers eager to help UNTIL they hear that I have no children. One even asked me if I was sure. Umm...okay. As a woman I'm sure I would remember if I had kids.

Finally, my questions:

1. Aside from shelters, are there any other emergency temporary assistance avenues I am missing that are available to people without children?
2. Are there any animal protection groups that specialize in temporary shelter for dogs while their original guardians get back on their feet well enough to take care of them again?

There has to be something there that can help, but my mind is not getting there on its own. I do care for XAH, and want him to get well if he's ready, but I finally love myself more. I miss having myself back, free and clear. I'm entirely looking forward to being back on my own feet completely, without public assistance, and especially with XAH. It just feels like trying to iceskate on quicksand right now.

Thank you to any and all who took the time to read this.

Seren

Hello HerLastNerve! I'm glad you finally came out of the shadows...welcome!!

I don't know that I have any solutions for you, but have you tried local church groups or perhaps the DV advocates in town? I know you never mentioned DV, but sometimes the advocates will have ideas of further housing resources of which you may not be aware.

Have you also tried the local animal shelters or veterinarians? Frequently they will have the names and numbers of a network of animal foster 'parents' who may be able to take your furbabies for you while you work this out.

Please come back and post here anytime!

LexieCat

Here's an organization that might have some suggestions: RedRover Relief Domestic Violence Resources | RedRover

dandylion

HerLastNerve....Lexie's suggestion is an excellent one. Also, you can call the local chapter of the National Humane Society to see if they have lists of fostering or rescue groups.
You can also call the local chapter of PETA--those people are very humane and may have a lot of personal knowledge that they will share with you.

Keep turning over rocks...and asking questions....don't give up!. Keep knocking on doors. Sooner or later..the right door will open.
I know how hard this is. It really is. But, you sound determined and it is your ATTITUDE that is going to open the way for you. ATTITUDE is everything in this kind of situation.

Welcome to this forum!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

dandylion

HerLastNerve

Multiquote is not working since I don't have enough posts yet, so to avoid multi posting, I've responded in one post:

• Thank you, LexieCat! I will definitely check out Red Rover, as it sounds like it would be a really wonderful avenue.

• Thank you, dandylion! Everyone has given such great suggestions. I'm putting them all on my to do list. As I've gotten older, I'm more sure of what I want, and more determined to get it. I realize now that I (as well as my beautiful dog) are worth it. It's nice to know that there are still people willing to help others help themselves. This is exactly why having more than one mind at work is really helpful.

Lirio

Hello HerLastNerve! I am newbie here too! I am sending positive thoughts your way! Yes, you and your dog are beautiful beings worth of a peaceful and loving life. (I am realizing that I am too!). In my community 211 has the list of ALL resources needed, shelters, emergency funds, referrals for many things. They also have a website. Not sure in CA but you may want to look into it.

Hawkeye13

DV can mean Doctor of Veterinarian, or also, and I think this is what Seren ment,
Domestic Violence Shelters / Help lines.

Both avenues may be useful.
You and your dog are indeed worth it
Keep us posted how things are going.

LexieCat

Yes, in this context, DV means "domestic violence." A vet is a "DVM" (Doctor of Veterinary Medicine).

HerLastNerve

To update, I've been contacting the resources everyone has given me. The area I live in has scant resources for domestic violence situations, but I did contact the animal shelters that was able to find. Red Rover had one possible solution available to me, which I hope to be able to call tomorrow during my lunch break. 211 requires quite a bit of manipulation of search terms to get the information I wanted, but I'll keep trying. I'm also going to give RAINN a try.

Thank you, Lirio, for you words of encouragement. You are indeed correct, we are worth the healing and the work it takes to get there. Reaching out to this community is the best decision I have made in a long time, I hope you've had the same experience.

Thank you Hawkeye13 and LexiCat for clearing up what DV means. I'm usually clear-headed, but the anxiety is causing some brain fog.

9111111, I haven't made enough posts to respond directly, so I hope that you are able to see this. Thank you for your message about another resource that helps big dogs. People are usually hesitant to help people with big dogs because irresponsible guardians have given the rest of us a bad rep. I'll attempt to contact them when I get off of work tomorrow.

hopeful4

If you are in CA you may want to check w/ Saddleback church and some of the people there with Celebrate Recovery. They are HUGE and may know of some resources to help you.

God Bless!

HerLastNerve

As promised, here is an update about the situation going on here. XAH is out of town for a while, so I took this time to make some calls and write emails in peace. I asked the dog trainer if she had any ideas, and she gave me some, mostly ones I had already tried, or the SR community has already presented. Getting a hold to some of these places during lunch or after work is a challenge, so emails have been sent until I can get someone on the phone.

Since it's the holiday season, things are at a bottleneck. I thought it would be much easier to at least find someplace for my dog, since there is a large population of dog guardians here in Coachella Valley. Alas, in a wealthy community, those who need help on a local level, especially around the holidays, are an afterthought, if thought of at all. Once I get my dog to where I know that SHE is safe, that will be all the miracle I need. I've never missed my family so much. They would help if they could, but it is not within any of their means. I'm having trouble not being angry that it seems so tough to find that one Samaritan who has room for one more (dog).

hopeful4: thank you for the suggestions. Neither one is close enough, but I will keep them on the list.

dandylion

HerLastNerve....I keep thinking about you...and praying for your samaritan(s).
I am trying to think out of the box on your behalf.......
I know that when I have had animals gone missing...the best help in finding them back has been simply posting signs. I am thinking that this simple, old-fashioned technique might be the way to find that one kind-hearted person that you need.
I am just turning over every leaf.

It seems that having a therapy dog would give you some advantage...wouldn't it?!!
Perhaps contacting the local chapters of the National Handicapped organizations might give you some contacts or ideas.
The Red Cross or FEMA folks might have some ideas, also...as they have to utilize help for animal protection in times of disasters, etc.

Sometimes, it is the accidental person you stumble across in the course of pursuing your mission who actually offers help on a one to one basis. Most of my rescue animals, over the years, came to me in exactly this fashion!
I live in Virginia....if I lived close to you...I would foster your dog.

I want you to know that my heart is with you....and, if you don't give up....you will find a solution.

God bless.

dandylion

lillamy

I have a friend in CA who's fostered dogs off and on -- let me check with her if she has any contacts in your area~!

HerLastNerve

I wanted to come in before work to give another update: I called a DV hotline last night, and they gave me the number to a local shelter for situations like mine. Was hoping for a little bit of light in that tunnel, but as it turns out, that particular shelter can only help me if I don't have a job, which I just got last week. Giving up the small step forward that I made towards independence to get help for my independence seems almost ironic to me. Let down, Pyrrhic victory.

Thank you, dandylion, for sending your thoughts and prayers, I could use as many as I can get in addition to my own. My baby is a therapy dog, and she does help me. When it is just she and I, we are the best therapy for each other. Her stress is through the roof with all that is going on right now. Animals seem to sense anxiety and stress. She can't speak, so I'm trying my best to speak for her. Were it not for me worrying about how she's faring when I am at work...

I kick myself for letting myself be talked out of not working for 15 years. I don't have nearly enough credits to have qualified for disability while I was looking for work, so that I didn't have to get myself in this jam. The best I can do is to keep moving forward, turning over rocks, leaves, Spongebob, ANYTHING that will reflect the effort I am putting in to correct my mistake. When I get to work today, hopefully something will come together while I'm not looking.

HerLastNerve

lillamy, thank you so much, that would be wonderful if your friend knows of some other resources.

Another update: There is another person I spoke today with who says she will speak with some people she knows who foster dogs, even asking about my baby's temperament so that she knows who to contact first (very smart, as dogs have personalities too). She also informed me that the local animal shelters are more smoke and mirrors than actual resources for either animals or their guardians. At least I know that I'm not the one who is failing, here, that I'm not crazy. To think that this is a city that has an average of two dogs per person! You would think animal advocacy here would be more proactive than it is. This is one of those times when you thought you knew what you knew, but turns out you didn't know a darned thing after all.

redatlanta

Herlastnerve - Just wanted to send you some (((hugs)))! I hope you find a foster for your dog soon. Life is tough but you are moving in the right direction. You will solve this! Sending prayers for you and your sweet dog tonight.

HerLastNerve

(((hugs))) back to you, redatlanta, and thank you.

POAndrea

Perhaps I've minsunderstood your post, but if you have a therapy or service dog, you cannot be denied service (including emergency shelter).

Commonly Asked Questions About Service Animals in Places of Business

Can a homeless person with a service animal be denied entrance to a homeless shelter? | Pets of the Homeless

The link below plainly describes your rights in a hotel, so you should be able to consider a a cheaper option that would not allow a larger non-service dog. ADA, service animals and the right to refuse a guest | Hotel Management

I imagine as long as you don't wander in drunk and wearing only your swimsuit bottom you'd have a much easier time of it than that guy....

HerLastNerve

Hello, POAndrea. I checked out the links you gave me, and from my understanding, my dog does not qualify because she is an emotional support companion, which is distinguished from service companion. As such, any establishment is allowed to deny her being with me. I do appreciate your help, as well as that of others here. It's looking as though my back is against the wall on this one, and will have to do what I don't want to do. Thinking about updating in a different post when I get back from another walk.