matilda123

This morning I took the back way to the barn. Driving with the holiday music station on, I was flanked on one side by a forest of eucalyptus trees and, on the other, by rolling hills. The sun was shining and the air had that invigorating, crisp fall texture. Suddenly, I found myself crying and realized that it was from sheer joy. I then remembered a similar experience in a dance class when I was very young. I started crying from sheer happiness. The teacher asked me if someone stepped on my toe and I murmured no. I remember feeling embarrassed by these surges of joy as a child, especially around my mother, who told me I felt too much.

What a gift sobriety has given me, to reconnect with these feelings. Something to truly be grateful for this Thanksgiving weekend.

PS: You’ll laugh: when I first typed this I wrote that I took the back way to the bar, not the barn! That AV tries to sneak in there any way it can.

Anna

Your post is really beautiful and how wonderful that you can reconnect with joy. I completely lost joy in my life during my drinking years.

Soberwolf

Nice post Matilda

SoberD

Great post - thank you Matilda. Although I am early in sobriety, I am very much looking forward to regaining the genuine joy in life that I had prior to my heavy drinking years...you post gives me hope...

matilda123

SoberD, I'm very new in this myself: Saturday will be 60 days. It is sort of amazing how quickly the joy has returned and makes me wonder, why didn't I do this earlier? I suppose it was, in part, because I didn't realize that the alcohol was making me feel so bad; I assumed I was drinking because I felt so bad. What a vicious circle.

Dee74

congrats on your 60 days matilda - great post

D

JanieJ

Thank you for your thoughts, Matilda.

How wonderful that you have found joy again

awuh1

I don't think there's any such thing as feeing too much. We have emotions, its a fact.

And yes, there are different paths to feeling good. Personally, I like the one you're on.