Cuppy

I feel like I need to ask my bf for some room during my recovery. We've been together 7 years and it's been rocky (because of my addiction) and he's broken up with me MANY times after a relapse, just to get back with me soon after.

But now, I feel like "nothing changes if nothing changes".

Even tho, he's never used with me (we drink rarely together, but never drugs), I feel like this relationship is stressful…maybe even a trigger. I don't know. I told him I needed space yesterday and this morning he sexted me. I'm kind of surprised. He's never chased me before after a relapse. Usually I'm the one begging him to stay. I ignored his text, and I'm not tempted, but what if he leaves forever? I just want some space. Should I ask him to wait or just make a break and work on me??? confused.

Thepatman

Welcome to SR.

You have to do whatever it takes to save your life. And if you need space, he should respect that. Recovery is a process that requires a bit of selfishness. This is about you.

Mags1

Hi Cuppy welcome to SR.

Soberwolf

Welcome to the forum

I would just explain whats going on and you need space at the moment

Cuppy

Thanks for the welcome. I'm not comfortable having sex if there's no relationship per se. It makes me feel used. And he won't say "I love you" until I'm clean a while. So…we fool around, I relapse, we break up. We fool around, I relapse, we break up. Then we hook back up…..it's the definition of insanity.

I want love. He wants a clean girlfriend. We're both waiting. In the mean time we get together every now and then.

I think it needs to stop. I may lose him, tho. If he supports me and loves me, he'll be there when I'm healthy….right? I just know THIS is not what I want. I can't be healthy behavior.

SoberD

Hi Cuppy - welcome. I tend to think that you need to do whatever is best for YOU right now; not what is best for the relationship or for him....and what is best is for you to decide...