Hendrix

...and I just don't understand it.

I'm well into my 4th week without a drink and feel so completely different (better) about everything this time.

I truly don't have a conscious desire to drink - in fact yesterday I even went to a pub to watch my son's band play and was more than happy with my lime and soda. The smell of beer on other folks breath and all around I actually found distasteful!

It was fantastic to really appreciate the gig without the old booze haze. Before I'd have had vague recollections of enjoying the music but no real recollection of any details......

All day I'm absolutely fine, I'm eating really healthily.....it's just some times in the evenings.

I'm finding I'm losing my temper over things that probably don't need anger.

During previous attempts at stopping drinking I'd sub-consciously (or maybe not so sub) engineer an argument between me and my wife and/or kids so that I could 'have a reason' to go out and get drink.

I really don't want to do that now - I really don't want to drink but I'm finding these bouts of anger uncontrollable. My strategy up till now is avoidance - separating myself from the rest of the family of an evening.

I know this is unsustainable - but it's the only way I've found so far that I can avoid risking my new found and so precious sobriety.

I've looked into books such as the 'Chimp Paradox'and various web sites but I'm not normally like this - is it common in the early days?

least

Emotions in early recovery can be all over the place. One minute you're feeling good, then all of a sudden you feel bad. It will get better with more sober time.

Soberpotamus

This happened for me too very early on. I had rage, anger... and underneath it was fear and sadness, profound sadness. I was dealing with delayed grief over my mom's death plus many other unprocessed emotions, I'm sure.

Alcohol keeps us from processing things appropriately.

What's important though, is that it doesn't last forever... mine dissipated over time. It's important to guard yourself against relapse early on, because you will find it well worth it to have maintained your sobriety. Your brain needs to heal. You will mature emotionally.

I am now at 20 months and I no longer have the rage. I do still get angry, though, but I am able to handle it much better and not let it overwhelm me.

Hendrix

Thanks Least and Jennie.
That's really reassuring.
I'll just wait it out......

Just saw this smilie



that's been me in a nutshell lately!

earlyriser

I had the same thing in the first few weeks. Some were real issues that needed to be thrashed out, that I had muted by drinking, others were irrational mood swings.

But over time, and with the help of this site, and some serious self-examination and meditation, I am mellower than any other time in my life.

And I love every second of it. Hope you find the same center of peace.

Earlyriser

AdmimalBlueEyes

Like others say . your emotions will be wacked , not sure how much you drank , the more you consumed the greater your potential mood swings,
it can't hurt to see a doctor if you havnt all ready,

Soberwolf

Hi Hendrix i was the same its very normal in early sobriety

Hang in there bud

Hawkeye13

Me too

Feel the feelings safely--I went out in the woods and hiked and sometimes
yelled and cried to let things go.


It gets not only better but lots better. . .

beach20

Oh my goodness, I so understand. What I am learning, is how to stay away for now the things that make me angry and to focus on others. The anger in me has been very deep. And it has it been over the injustices in the world. It has also been very personal when my sister two weeks ago tore me apart from 40 years ago. Pray to go higher.