Struggling.
Abella25
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Omaha, NE
Posts: 5
Struggling.
I can't tell you how many years I've struggled with alcohol. Somehow in the back of my mind I knew I was going to have a problem (even at times joking about it). Unfortunately, it has turned into a full-blown addiction. I think about alcohol all the time. It's caused me so many problems. Last year, for the first time, I almost entered a 30 day inpatient treatment program. However, due to a condition I had at the time, they sent me home (3 hours back.)
I hate how much alcohol has ruined me, changed the life I wanted---should have for myself.
I'm here because I don't know what else to do. The longest I've gone is 4 months. Now, I can only go 4 days before I slip.
Boredom. Anxiety, Sadness. Memories. Wanting to feel good, or rather, numb it all out. All those reasons are why I drink.
I'm in outpatient treatment right now---it has helped. I'm glad to have a great therapist and amazing co-workers to help me through this.
My family, on the other hand, they know I have a drinking problem, even took me to the E.R. when I was plastered beyond belief...now...my family (not sure if they're holding back or oblivious like before) seem to be falling back to where they first were (or they don't want to acknowledge it). I don't know. Not sure how much more I can handle. I hate how addiction has taken me away from everything.
Just wanted to introduce myself. I'm trying my best to stay sober, but damn it is so hard. If it isn't alcohol--something else---another destructive habit comes into play.
Appreciate this site and all those who contribute to it----I've come here quite a few times before joining.
I hate how much alcohol has ruined me, changed the life I wanted---should have for myself.
I'm here because I don't know what else to do. The longest I've gone is 4 months. Now, I can only go 4 days before I slip.
Boredom. Anxiety, Sadness. Memories. Wanting to feel good, or rather, numb it all out. All those reasons are why I drink.
I'm in outpatient treatment right now---it has helped. I'm glad to have a great therapist and amazing co-workers to help me through this.
My family, on the other hand, they know I have a drinking problem, even took me to the E.R. when I was plastered beyond belief...now...my family (not sure if they're holding back or oblivious like before) seem to be falling back to where they first were (or they don't want to acknowledge it). I don't know. Not sure how much more I can handle. I hate how addiction has taken me away from everything.
Just wanted to introduce myself. I'm trying my best to stay sober, but damn it is so hard. If it isn't alcohol--something else---another destructive habit comes into play.
Appreciate this site and all those who contribute to it----I've come here quite a few times before joining.
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Boston, MA.
Posts: 1,756
Originally Posted by abella25 
I can't tell you how many years I've struggled with alcohol. Somehow in the back of my mind I knew I was going to have a problem (even at times joking about it). Unfortunately, it has turned into a full-blown addiction. I think about alcohol all the time. It's caused me so many problems. Last year, for the first time, I almost entered a 30 day inpatient treatment program. However, due to a condition I had at the time, they sent me home (3 hours back.)
I hate how much alcohol has ruined me, changed the life I wanted---should have for myself.
I'm here because I don't know what else to do. The longest I've gone is 4 months. Now, I can only go 4 days before I slip.
Boredom. Anxiety, Sadness. Memories. Wanting to feel good, or rather, numb it all out. All those reasons are why I drink.
I hate how much alcohol has ruined me, changed the life I wanted---should have for myself.
I'm here because I don't know what else to do. The longest I've gone is 4 months. Now, I can only go 4 days before I slip.
Boredom. Anxiety, Sadness. Memories. Wanting to feel good, or rather, numb it all out. All those reasons are why I drink.
Sent from my Nexus 7 using Sober Recovery
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,837
Hi! My alcoholism snuck up on me too, not sure when or how, but it's here now....
The longest I've gone was about 3 weeks in 13 years, and the last 2-3 years, nine days is my longest, but usually 4-6. I'm on day 3 now, so I'm entering the danger zone. When I get to day 10, I'll be thrilled. 10 days without alcohol is a thrill to me! haha! Ridiculous, oh my. It is, what it is....
Xoxo
Best wishes
The longest I've gone was about 3 weeks in 13 years, and the last 2-3 years, nine days is my longest, but usually 4-6. I'm on day 3 now, so I'm entering the danger zone. When I get to day 10, I'll be thrilled. 10 days without alcohol is a thrill to me! haha! Ridiculous, oh my. It is, what it is....
Xoxo
Best wishes
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Northern Australia
Posts: 197
Hi Abella. A lot of what you have written resonates strongly with my own experience. I've been trying for years too. I self sabotage.
FACT (for me): I'm a total alco and have been for my entire adult life. It's all I've ever known, in a way. I have to keep trying, or it will ruin my life and/or kill me before my time.
12 days sober now with medical help and this forum. Welcome, I hope to see you around on here.
FACT (for me): I'm a total alco and have been for my entire adult life. It's all I've ever known, in a way. I have to keep trying, or it will ruin my life and/or kill me before my time.
12 days sober now with medical help and this forum. Welcome, I hope to see you around on here.
Abella25
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Omaha, NE
Posts: 5
Thanks for the warm welcome. Much appreciated.
I hope to find recovery soon. I want it so bad.
I love the way I felt when I wasn't using substances. I was happier, able to concentrate and recall things.
To those who are still trying to stay sober or in sobriety, there is a light. I may not be there yet, but I know there is a life outside of using.
I hope to find recovery soon. I want it so bad.
I love the way I felt when I wasn't using substances. I was happier, able to concentrate and recall things.
To those who are still trying to stay sober or in sobriety, there is a light. I may not be there yet, but I know there is a life outside of using.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: New England
Posts: 1,926
Welcome Abella. You are in my prayers. Hang in there and keep coming back and reading and posting on SR. Things will start to look better if you just don't drink one day at a time. (Hug) AA is another great support network. There are also many others if that isn't a good fit.
Life is an unlikely miracle.
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: England
Posts: 1,859
Welcome Abella 
You're in good company with people who understand you here, glad you found us.
I've stayed sober 48 days now after 38 years of drinking, thanks to this forum and AA.
XX
You're in good company with people who understand you here, glad you found us.
I've stayed sober 48 days now after 38 years of drinking, thanks to this forum and AA.
XX
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