Why??

Old 08-02-2004, 09:33 AM
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Why??

Why does it bother me so???? He went out last Thrusday (golfing) didn't arrive home until 2 am .......which wasn't a huge deal I didn't expect him to be home (although I had hoped he would be) of course he was hung over Friady ,...supposed to have had a few job interviews I am not sure if he even went, of course he told me he did, but have a hard time beliving him. Sat. was good ...of course he drank but nothing out of hand....Sunday we went to a 3 year olds birthday .....and instead of spending time outside with the kids and the rest of us he hung out at the "bar" (in the house) with the grandfather (a raging alcoholic) and drank for about 4hours......then when we come home we have no alcohol in the house so he wants to go out for a bite to eat (really just so he can have another drink) ....gets a beer from the neighbor while I put the kids to bed....then comes in and gets upset when I say NO I am tried I don't wan tto go out...(like he doesn't get it ) ......needless to say we don't go and we go to bed.......well this morning he is all grumpy and tells me he is mad at me because "I didn't want to go out and spend time with him "????????? WHY does this bother me ?? when I know he didn't want to spend time with me , he wanted to spend time at the bar drinking and have me pay for it!! At any rate I sit here at work and wonder WHY!!!!!!!!! ( I know its the codie ...but want to know if I am the only one )

thanks for listening (if anything it helps to get it out ........)
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Old 08-02-2004, 09:57 AM
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Gracey
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my husband did that to me all the time.........he would always use the excuse I wouldnt spend time with him...........I didnt understand him......bla bla bla........but he didnt do anything for me or with me unless it involved drinking......he hated going to my parents and would try to make some excuse why he cant go......he always needed to get something done around the house...(why dont I go and he just stay home) he couldnt drink around my parents......or in my parents home......he didnt like to do anything unless he could drink.....I use to take it personal but not anymore.....that is just his addiction.......

his idea of spending time with him was sitting in the backyard around a campfire every weekend and entertain him when he was drinking......and most of the conversation was about how miserable he was about this or that.....or complaining to me how he didnt like what my older daughter did or didnt do.....that is all he does is complain.....how fun is that.......I am making a deal with my husband now.......I will spend all the time in the world with you if you dont bring three issues up......and I would like to say atleast one positive thing and focus on that for a few minutes...........(do you know how hard that is for him)
 
Old 08-02-2004, 11:41 AM
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I know what you mean......it is CONSTANTLY that he got screwed over and "they" weren't fair blah blah blah, maybe it is becasue you didn't show up for 6 times in the month of June!? and didn't seem to think it was a big deal huh??? VERY frustrating just nice to know I am not alone in my quest for sanity!!
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Old 08-02-2004, 08:51 PM
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I can hear a familiar pattern. My husband has also gotten mad at me for not going out drinking, I am the one who is no fun, I am boring, I need to get a life. Well, I am just fine with my life without getting drunk out of my mind when the chance arises. He won't go to places that don't have beer either. Everything has to revolve around beer for him. He also has complained that I don't spend time with him, but it is only when he has nothing to do. If he has fishing or a snowmobiling trip planned, then he gone not spending any time with me and that is OK. But if I did it it is a different story. They can be so selfish and maybe that's why it bothers us so much. Try not to let yourself be too bothered and was too much of your time thinking about it. Just hope their consequences catch up with them, spend your time on you and things that you like to think about, sorry that you are in a situation that is so frustrating. I know exactly how you feel.
Hugs,
Laurylady
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Old 08-03-2004, 01:57 PM
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Thanks~ Yesterday was much worse than normal.......maybe I was just focusing too much on him and not myslef!
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