Gracey

I have been told by many people that just because someone is drinking or drunk..........the things that they say they do mean.......they just have the courage...(more courage) to say them......I have always told myself that he couldnt possibly mean that.......I try to make myself feel better......by saying he is just drunk......

How true is this........Where can I read about this.....

Shel

I have told myself the same things.......from my experience it is not neccessairly that they mean the things that they say it is the fact that they know it will hurt you and that is their goal becasue they are hurting they want you to suffer too!! SO .........take it for what it is worth...and usually that is not much....in my opinion what he says when he is drunk (although it may make me feel bad at the time) means nothing !!
take care!~

journeygal

I agree with Shel. I think they say what they mean, but I also think they try to shift the focus off of themselves and make us feel bad by belittling and insulting us. There are things about everyone that we don't like. When people are drunk or high, I think they target and zero in on those on or two things to try to make themselves feel better.

Try not to take it to heart.

smoke gets in my eyes

Well, speaking as someone who has been very drunk a number of times... it depends. Sometimes reality was pretty distorted and I thought some of the most questionable people were my bosom buddies. LOL And it was not rare to "remember" facts or events that never happened. But sometimes it just gave me a big mouth.

Gabe

I remember that phenomenon...vaugely.
My opinion...sometimes liqourspeak is the truth, sometimes it's just a bunch of nasty stuff that comes flying out as a diversion or a rage.
The bottom line is that what someone says when they are drunk is not coming from their best self. Not at all.

best

To figure out what happens, go through a day among people. Every time you have a negative thought, file it to memory for the days end.
Gee she looks like she gained weight in that dress.
That guys bald head and how he tries to cover it looks so ....
You see how that jerk is driving? What an &(**&
Ohhh I would just like to tell that person....

Now before you look at your list.... Are you a nice person who knows when to hold in thoughts that just pop into your head? Yes... so you don't say them or even carry them beyond the first thought or if you do carry them you reason them out with wisdom, understanding, compassion, kindness.
We all have random uncalled for thoughts from time to time.
Now add alcohol... wisdom, understanding, compassion, kindness all start to fall asleep. Morals can fall by the wayside as well.
A loss of reasoning as it gets covered over by the affects of alcohol.

Alcohol causes blindness to our wisdom and understanding of what is proper.
Private thoughts (we all have them) fall out and off the tongue when alcohol is added.
By nature of the beast a defensive stand and a lashing out can show it's ugly head as well. Do they mean it? No... it is a self defense of the illness.

A person of low moral charactor can become quiet as can be when drunk or as loud as can be. A person of high moral charactor can become the ugliest person you have ever seen or can just sit with a blind look on their face as well.
Alcoholism doesn't care about status.... it just cares how many can it harm.

Magichappens

Misery loves company. An alcoholic in the middle of their addiction is miserable. They are out of control, alone, scared, and angry. They want to blame others for what is happening to them. When I am ok with myself, I can see this in others, and not let it affect me. When I feel out of control, alone, scared, and angry, it affects me. I take it personally, and blame them for how I feel. It is up to me to break the cycle. If I focus on my recovery and heal and take care of me, the cycle stops. Hugs, Magic