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I need a second opinion.

Old 11-25-2014, 12:20 PM
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I need a second opinion.

Purpleknight said this in another thread. I thought, "How profound!"

We as a society are programmed to get a second opinion on a lot of things. Our cars, estimates on home repairs, doctors the list goes on.

But think of it, if we got a second opinion every time we wanted to take a drink we wouldn't drink. Or at least we would be told not to drink.

It is said here often. Come here and post before you pick up that drink - a second opinion.

Call your sponsor - a second opinion.

Ask your wife, husband, son or daughter. If we took the time to involve at least one other person - get a second opinion - before we decided to drink, many of us would be much further along than we are today.

So next time you want to drink for whatever reason, GET A SECOND OPINION!
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Old 11-25-2014, 12:29 PM
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Great advice, very true.

Sponsor always told me to call if I felt like drinking. I have never had to do that - yet.
But, in my mind I know myself. If I were at the point of picking up I wouldn't want to "bother" someone with my BS and say.....oh please talk me out of drinking.....Too pitiful.

However, this gives me another way to look at it. I would more consider doing that now using that exact phrase.....I need a second opinion! Good stuff(ing)

This is WHY SR is so great.....


Thanks LBrain and PK
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Old 11-25-2014, 12:47 PM
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Just to give a bit of background, for me it has been the cornerstone of my Sobriety and recovery to the present day.

I spent so long going round and round in circles, and you know why? because I was trying to do it on my own strength, my own willpower, my sheer resistance to drinking, and guess what? I failed over and over, why? because my mind was addicted to alcohol and I was relying on that addicted mind to somehow not want to drink, it was madness when I look at it in hindsight, but there I was trying not to drink and my own mind eventually would grind me down in isolation and I would continue to drink after a few days or weeks.

I therefore needed something outside of myself, it makes so much sense now, something to override my addictive mind that naturally wanted to drink, a second opinion on the matter, something to get me to think, "oh right, there's another way" or "that might not be such a good idea", having support to talk me out of what my mind wanted to do was when the penny finally dropped!!

Basically I guess we need to stop listening to our addiction and what it is telling us to do and start listening to those that have been there, got the t-shirt and have achieved some long term results!!

Our mind wants us to drink, it is addicted to alcohol and so naturally it is going to lead us back to drinking if it is allowed a free reign on our decision making, instead we need to get some advice on the matter, a second opinion before throwing our Sobriety away!!

SR is a fantastic place for that 24/7!!
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Old 11-25-2014, 12:53 PM
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Exellent post Lbrain

Always reach out first
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Old 11-25-2014, 12:54 PM
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Double post
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Old 11-25-2014, 12:55 PM
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I will NOT drink to that!
 
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Love this post!!!
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Old 11-25-2014, 01:18 PM
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thanks to PK for this.
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Old 11-25-2014, 01:19 PM
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Originally Posted by Purpleknight View Post
Just to give a bit of background, for me it has been the cornerstone of my Sobriety and recovery to the present day.

I spent so long going round and round in circles, and you know why? because I was trying to do it on my own strength, my own willpower, my sheer resistance to drinking, and guess what? I failed over and over, why? because my mind was addicted to alcohol and I was relying on that addicted mind to somehow not want to drink, it was madness when I look at it in hindsight, but there I was trying not to drink and my own mind eventually would grind me down in isolation and I would continue to drink after a few days or weeks.

I therefore needed something outside of myself, it makes so much sense now, something to override my addictive mind that naturally wanted to drink, a second opinion on the matter, something to get me to think, "oh right, there's another way" or "that might not be such a good idea", having support to talk me out of what my mind wanted to do was when the penny finally dropped!!

Basically I guess we need to stop listening to our addiction and what it is telling us to do and start listening to those that have been there, got the t-shirt and have achieved some long term results!!

Our mind wants us to drink, it is addicted to alcohol and so naturally it is going to lead us back to drinking if it is allowed a free reign on our decision making, instead we need to get some advice on the matter, a second opinion before throwing our Sobriety away!!

SR is a fantastic place for that 24/7!!
For me this is exactly what has worked thus far. From a business analogy, I needed to find and exploit resources that could add value to a bankrupt plan. I had to set aside my pride ( that was tough) and say "I don't got this."

I have found that in group meetings and SR. My challenge is still that ego that thinks I know more than I do. I suppose as long as it's recognized in this manner there is still progression.

I have learned there are a lot of smart people in the world, some of them are sober - those are the ones I choose to surround myself with today. I look for actions and behaviors that mimic spouted values and beliefs.
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Old 11-25-2014, 01:27 PM
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I agree, but be wise about who you ask for that opinion.

Most people I know would say lighten up and have that drink, but they don't get why I don't or won't.

When I want a second opinion, I come to SR.
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Old 11-25-2014, 07:21 PM
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Yep zero, that's correct. Thanks for clarifying that.

Definitely don't ask your drinking pals for advice.

Use someone sober or one who has a stake in your sobriety.
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Old 11-25-2014, 09:40 PM
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People who are actively suicidal need to see this too. Talk to someone before you make yourself dead. Your thinking is radically messed up and your feelings will eventually pass.

If you're hell bent on killing yourself, what's the difference if you stick around for a few more minutes?
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Old 11-25-2014, 09:45 PM
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Couldn't agree more. Earlier this week I had a massive urge to drink as I was standing in Target due to some painful feelings that emerged. I immediately stopped and posted to this community and received a flood of support that enabled me to get out of that store and safely back home. In the past I would have tried to tough it out by myself, and probably would have picked up that bottle of wine. The fact is, we're never by ourselves: our AVs are there, whispering in our ears, and they need a counterpoint!
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Old 11-26-2014, 08:08 AM
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Great post! Thank you.
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Old 11-26-2014, 08:22 AM
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That's the basis of a Higher Power, or God, too.

I know that I can at any time turn it over, ask for help, look outside myself for inspiration, lay down my problems, let it go, choose the healthy way, seek a higher level.

Great post. A second opinion is the only thing that has ever worked for me, regardless of how smartie-pants I think I am.
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