Notices

I fell off the wagon.

Old 11-25-2014, 06:47 AM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
zackman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 41
I fell off the wagon.

I had a great 60 days sober. Then I drank. I started feeling down and used alcohol thinking it would help. It didn't at all. I feel a lot of guilt and shame. Day 1 of sobriety starts today!
zackman is offline  
Old 11-25-2014, 06:48 AM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Anna's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,326
Alcohol never does help, does it!

I'm glad you're back and working on your recovery.
Anna is online now  
Old 11-25-2014, 06:50 AM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Forum Leader
 
ScottFromWI's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Welcome back Zackman. Perhaps you can look back and see how you can strengthen your plan to deal with those kinds of thoughts.
ScottFromWI is offline  
Old 11-25-2014, 06:57 AM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Do your best
 
Soberwolf's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Welcome bk Zackman have you got a plan ?
Soberwolf is offline  
Old 11-25-2014, 07:01 AM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Realising my life
 
HeadLump's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Dorset, England
Posts: 3,656
Good for you for getting back to sobriety - not everyone does. I think that shows a real determination
HeadLump is offline  
Old 11-25-2014, 07:04 AM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Keeping it simple!
 
LadyinBC's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Surrey, BC
Posts: 3,282
You have 60 days of sobriety. Focus on what got you thru the 60 days. Don't focus on the guilt or the shame. It is negative and that is how our AV wants us to feel. You know already that you can do this.

Welcome back .
LadyinBC is offline  
Old 11-25-2014, 07:06 AM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Member
 
Magellan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Virginia
Posts: 498
Originally Posted by zackman View Post
I had a great 60 days sober. Then I drank. I started feeling down and used alcohol thinking it would help. It didn't at all. I feel a lot of guilt and shame. Day 1 of sobriety starts today!
Great job on 60 days!!!
I know how you feel, I didn't have 60 days but I had wine on Sunday night and the pain, both mental and physical, was awful. Day 2 for me, I'm never going back to that....ever.
Glad you are back
Magellan is offline  
Old 11-25-2014, 07:25 AM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Spain
Posts: 11
Hi there,

well, I feel the same, I drank last week as well and felt horrible about myself and also cause I disappointed the people who love me the most... Sometimes it's extrmely difficult....
Any idea what could help?
Day 3 - again!
acuevasal is offline  
Old 11-25-2014, 07:34 AM
  # 9 (permalink)  
Member
 
Ruby2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 9,029
In my experience, once I picked up a drink after a period of sobriety, knowing I needed to quit, the after effects were magnified. I couldn't just drink in peace, if you know what I mean. I realized what was at stake. Most of it was mental and emotional shame that I did it again after saying I wouldn't. That compounded the physical misery.

Let go of that torture. Beating yourself up won't undo what's been done. You learn from the experience and walk on with your head up. At least you are trying. Sixty days is great. Tweak your plan and method of staying quit. Double up. Be kind to yourself.
Ruby2 is offline  
Old 11-25-2014, 07:41 AM
  # 10 (permalink)  
Member
 
LonelyShadow's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: England
Posts: 808
Originally Posted by zackman View Post
Then I drank. I started feeling down and used alcohol thinking it would help. It didn't at all.
Well put!

Good job getting back onto the wagon right away friend. Keep at it!
LonelyShadow is offline  
Old 11-25-2014, 07:50 AM
  # 11 (permalink)  
Member
 
Inchworm's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,358
im so happy to hear that you're not going to let this daunt you in your sobriety. I've been thinking that this sobriety journey is like a snowball going downhill. It goes faster and faster and gets bigger and bigger. It's really, really hard after a time to delude ourselves that drink isn't our problem because that dang snowball is just so big!
Inchworm is offline  
Old 11-25-2014, 07:52 AM
  # 12 (permalink)  
Member
 
Magellan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Virginia
Posts: 498
Originally Posted by Ruby2 View Post
In my experience, once I picked up a drink after a period of sobriety, knowing I needed to quit, the after effects were magnified. I couldn't just drink in peace, if you know what I mean. I realized what was at stake. Most of it was mental and emotional shame that I did it again after saying I wouldn't. That compounded the physical misery..
Exactly this!!
Thanks
Magellan is offline  
Old 11-25-2014, 07:56 AM
  # 13 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Wellington, NZ
Posts: 250
Hey Zackman, it's great that you've jumped back into sobreity :=] I think my biggest fear about relapsing is that it was gonna be a permanent thing. Be kind to yourself :=]
andyroo72 is offline  
Old 11-25-2014, 08:21 AM
  # 14 (permalink)  
Life is an unlikely miracle.
 
JanieJ's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: England
Posts: 1,859
Well done for getting straight back to it, Zackman.

What can you do differently this time when your AV starts on you ?
JanieJ is offline  
Old 11-25-2014, 10:33 AM
  # 15 (permalink)  
Guest
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
Originally Posted by zackman View Post
I started feeling down and used alcohol thinking it would help. It didn't at all. I feel a lot of guilt and shame.
This kind of awareness is really awesome. Look at you be conscious and aware and learning!

That same kind of realization hit me at the start of my sober road back in Spring. I think I started my attempts to get a good mount in sobriety in April or May. I had a relapse after a darkness fell when dealing with my aging father. I couldn't shake it..so I stopped for "a drink".. after about a week of sobriety.

Ya..when is it ever "a drink".
A drink turned into me driving home in a black out.

But like you...I made the connection to my depression and the drink. When you drink every damn day you don't really make "connections" to anything. You just drink.
Nuudawn is offline  
Old 11-25-2014, 10:58 AM
  # 16 (permalink)  
Member
 
PurpleKnight's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
What support are you using Zackman?!!

For me I needing a second opinion on things when my mind tried to convince me that a drink would help, something outside of myself.

Go at things again, but building more support into your plan could be a way forward!!

You can do this!!
PurpleKnight is offline  
Old 11-25-2014, 11:03 AM
  # 17 (permalink)  
Member
 
ccam1973's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Gulf Coast, USA
Posts: 2,229
Welcome back Zackman. Like other's have said, take a look at what support you are using, make a plan and stay strong.

It took me several tries to truly believe that I can't drink again. Each relapse got worse and worse.

Use the strength you had to make it 60 days and build on that.

You can do this.

Good for you coming right back here.
ccam1973 is offline  
Old 11-25-2014, 12:07 PM
  # 18 (permalink)  
Member
 
LBrain's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: PA
Posts: 12,000
One thing for sure is that if you hold onto that wagon with both hands, one of them can't be holding a drink.
LBrain is offline  
Old 11-25-2014, 02:19 PM
  # 19 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,043
It's a lesson learned Zackman - by most of us at one time.

Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again
Maybe think about what you could do differently this time?

Welcome back

D
Dee74 is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 07:18 AM.