Persistance - Communication - Energy
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 261
Persistance - Communication - Energy
My Ex AH is still trying to reconcile the marriage and stay in contact with me even though he is dating someone else. I don't have an inkling of desire to reconcile, but still find myself trying to be friendly with him. Like, I answer his phone calls and I am doing a joint custody with the dog right now. I am not sad, but I find that dealing with him drains me energetically. Has anyone ever noticed a difference in their energy level on days they did not speak to the addict in their lives? I am starting therapy next week and that may bring me further insight to how my relationship with him, even on a platonic level, seems to bring me down a bit... I know I need to cut off contact with him all together once and for all, but I find it difficult to do, even though I DON'T have any kind of romantic interest in him. Residual co-dependent addiction to chaos? Secretly wanting him to suffer? Processing the need to speak with him right now.....or the lack of cutting off communication with him all together?
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 328
I understand what you mean about energy levels. While I was going through the worst time with my son, I would feel absolutely drained after dealing with him even if it was just phone calls. I have followed your story and think you are doing great!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: USA
Posts: 574
yes it seems normal. Your body and mind are trying to get thru to you. You deserve peace and you will not have it while staying in the cycle. We become addicted to the addict and must detox from them too. Good luck. I'm there too now.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 845
YG, it does seem like NC would be a useful thing for you to try while you are feeling strong and not interested in rekindling things. See how you feel after a few months apart? You have been through so much with this guy and you've written since breaking up with him about how much the abuse you suffered at his hands continues to haunt you. What do you think it is that prevents you from cutting ties?
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