Ixi

It has been almost two months since I broke up with XABF. We tried to be friends for a little bit, but have been totally NC for a couple weeks since I got a call from the police that he drove through his garage door and drove off and they didn't know where he was (he was located at his dad's house 10 minutes away - the fact that he made it there without killing anyone is a miracle).

Today I did a serious cleaning of my house, including putting aside/throwing out all of his stuff. Throwing his toothbrush away felt like a big moment. Then as I was putting a movie away I found a bottle of liquor hidden among my DVDs. For the first time, finding one of his stashes didn't make me angry. I just dumped it and moved on to the vacuuming.

I feel like this process of cleaning wasn't just physical. I feel emotionally cleansed as well. For the last six months or so I have been feeling generally a little depressed, pretty lonely and not very optimistic about the future. Today I am starting to feel better. It's funny how big of a difference the little things can make.

CodeJob

Nothing like cleaning your mind as you clean your home!

walkinganewpath

I always find myself cleaning after going through a crisis. Since I can't always sweep the chaos from my head and heart it helps to put my physical house in order. The other thing that makes me feel better is grocery shopping and cooking - lol

hopeful4

Good for you. I remember when I did the same when my XAH moved out. Healthy purging, it's a good feeling.

honeypig

I'm doing some organizing/cleaning/throwing out today too, and I'm feeling good about it. I'd agree w/those who've said it's a physical way of showing what we want to do or are trying to do in our minds and hearts.

Out, out, damned unused boxes of tea that I don't even like!

Cry havoc, and let slip the vacuum cleaner!

Katchie

I hear ya! In May, when things were looking good at home, I cleaned house. Bought a large container and began having "The Great Throwaway" in our home. It was great!! With each piece of collected crap I threw away, a piece of the years of heartache were thrown out with it. My house had become a reflection of the way I have felt inside for years -- cluttered with muck and off and on depression. Unfortunately, my bedroom is starting to reflect this week how I feel about my husband with his relapse. But...I'm going to take care of it because it adds depression just looking at it!
Good for you taking care of yourself!!

LeeJane

Cleaning my home and making it cosy is one of the many things I love these days.

honeypig

You know what? As I clean, I'm starting to imagine MY house, w/MY stuff in it, and all his piles of hoarded crap gone, gone, GONE!!

I realized, for the first time today, that so much of what I trip over and walk around and get sick of seeing is HIS $hit. He can never decide what to do with anything or get rid of anything, so it piles up on the kitchen table, next to his bed, on his dresser.

I'm someone who tends to have exactly what I need to function and no more, and I have not been living that way for many years. I'm thanking my HP that I never let him talk me into any of his grandiose half-cocked expensive ideas for remodeling the house or other craziness, or I'd be looking at major debt in addition to all the other issues.

(Looking upwards) Thank you, HP, for making me the stubborn daughter of bankrupt dairy farmers who avoids debt like the plague!!

Thanks for this thread, Ixi!

maggpie666999

I love cleaning the house, and it is one of my triggers so now I am sipping some mint tea and cleaning instead of booze. I used to clean and stick booze in the coffee but now I don't do that anymore. Cleaning and sitting back afterward is the best feeling of accomplishment good for you

FireSprite

Not laughing AT you so much as WITH you here... I did this exact same thing not long ago (well, in the last year). Now I'm better at not holding on to things I know I won't use/don't like regardless of why I end up with them in the first place.

It must've been in the air this weekend because I found myself on a purge-fest throughout my office/Me Room while RAH organized & pressure cleaned the back deck areas. I was just feeling stagnant for some reason & wanted to clean/clear areas of the house vs. starting new projects like holiday decorations.

It started with a simple drawer but then I found myself going on & on...... What on earth made me think I need so many eye shadow choices? Especially the colors I have never, ever worn? Why would I think it was a good idea to hang onto lipsticks/liners/glosses from 5+ yrs ago & all the germ-iness they must contain?

LexieCat

This reminds me of the infamous un-Effing thread.

I got most of my home thoroughly un-Effed, though I did have some lingering mess after some of the work I had done on my home. My paperwork is still not handled, but the rest I have pretty well organized.

It was a VERY cleansing experience.

honeypig

Oh, I REMEMBER that thread, and that phrase (un-Effing) has been used in a multitude of applications since then!