Turned out it was for me...

Old 11-23-2014, 09:20 PM
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Turned out it was for me...

I sought out SR because of a friend of mine with an AGF. At the time I joined she was actively drinking and his life was nightmarish. I wanted to learn more about alcoholism and possibly help him.

They just had a baby. She's been sober about 6 months but she tested positive for marijuana and so did the baby, at birth, so there is a CPS case open. My friend uses weed heavily and is a huge supporter of it.

Anyway - although my friend is not an alcoholic he sure does have a lot of addict personality traits. He is self-centered, only sees his own point of view and has a victim mentality. He has a HUGE chip on his shoulder and can't be reasoned with. I learned these are alcoholic-like traits on SR.

Now, of course he has good points too, like anyone, and we were pretty close for over six years.

The more I read on SR, the more I saw how much of an addict he is in his behavior and attitudes. (Maybe an actual marijuana addict? I don't know.) I saw how I made excuses for him and enabled him to stay with his abusive AGF by being there to pick up the emotional pieces, giving him a shoulder to cry on, listening to him (literally) cry when she tormented him, taking him to the dentist when she knocked a tooth out. I kept some of his belongings in my house for months after she threw them around and broke glass into them.

Our relationship became more and more sick. We argued a lot. I couldn't stand his persecution complex. I gave and he took. (I'm sure he would not see it like that.)

Last week I ended the relationship. It's been coming a long time. I particularly couldn't stand that he called CPS "nasty assholes" rather than agreeing it's pretty d*amn nasty that his newborn had weed in his system!

So... thanks SR. I started out thinking I'd help him to end a toxic relationship but ended up helping myself.
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Old 11-24-2014, 06:58 AM
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What a great post!!! Thank you for sharing your growth from this (different-than-many-here) perspective.
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Old 11-24-2014, 07:03 AM
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Good Deal

ya done the right thing
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Old 11-24-2014, 08:45 AM
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Thanks guys. I've really learned so much here.

As time went on he rarely paid any attention to my feelings. Everything was always about him and how the world **** on him. A couple of days after the "breakup" he started texting me like it never happened, like if he ignored it we'd just go back to what we were.

So many stories here of people with A partners were JUST LIKE HIM. Minus the drunkenness. But otherwise identical. I feel sort of sad but mostly relieved to be out of the drama. Drama is this guy's middle name even when the AGF is sober. It was flattering for a while to feel so "needed" but it turned into being used.
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