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Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 1
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Hi,
I'm Forde,
My husband drinks, to excess.... Every day till its all gone or he falls asleep. He only drinks beer its called boddingtons, similar to Guinness..
I hear you saying beer, what's the problem its not vodka or heavy stuff.
I know it is a problem, I know he cannot stop. I know I will never accept it.. Yet I'm still here trying to fix him, hoping for the thing to happen that will wake him up and make him stop..
My anger towards him is now off the chart... He is not participating in family or Married life at all. He is either relaxing with a cold one. Hanging around his stash outside thinking I don't know that for every beer he takes from the fridge, he is drinking two.. Sitting on the couch just gulping it down. Wants the kids to be quiet or in bed away from him. Won't help with cleaning up our putting the kids to bed.. I'm the morning its worse, we have two children.. I can't get him out of bed.. we have two kids and all he has to do is the school bags. It's the only thing he can do that doesn't involve direct contract with the kids because who has patience for children when your hungover... So I do everything, recently he is not even doing the bags, so I really am doing everything.. I take the kids to the bus stop and day care and then go to work. I pick the Kids up after and home we go for more of the same crap. We sleep in seperate rooms..
I have come home in the morning for one reason or another to find him asleep.. Did I mention I'm the breadwinner now.. I feel trapped in my job because he can't make enough money to support us and pay for health insurance. So my job takes care of that. The more I do, the less he does.. I'm so very tired and ****** off with the whole situation. I'm also scared, I have no family too support me. I keep people at a distance, so they don't know what goes on.. so I have no real friends to speak of...
Am I crazy or is he really an alcoholic..?
I just want it to stop. I want my husband back but I think that man is long gone...
Forde
I'm Forde,
My husband drinks, to excess.... Every day till its all gone or he falls asleep. He only drinks beer its called boddingtons, similar to Guinness..
I hear you saying beer, what's the problem its not vodka or heavy stuff.
I know it is a problem, I know he cannot stop. I know I will never accept it.. Yet I'm still here trying to fix him, hoping for the thing to happen that will wake him up and make him stop..
My anger towards him is now off the chart... He is not participating in family or Married life at all. He is either relaxing with a cold one. Hanging around his stash outside thinking I don't know that for every beer he takes from the fridge, he is drinking two.. Sitting on the couch just gulping it down. Wants the kids to be quiet or in bed away from him. Won't help with cleaning up our putting the kids to bed.. I'm the morning its worse, we have two children.. I can't get him out of bed.. we have two kids and all he has to do is the school bags. It's the only thing he can do that doesn't involve direct contract with the kids because who has patience for children when your hungover... So I do everything, recently he is not even doing the bags, so I really am doing everything.. I take the kids to the bus stop and day care and then go to work. I pick the Kids up after and home we go for more of the same crap. We sleep in seperate rooms..
I have come home in the morning for one reason or another to find him asleep.. Did I mention I'm the breadwinner now.. I feel trapped in my job because he can't make enough money to support us and pay for health insurance. So my job takes care of that. The more I do, the less he does.. I'm so very tired and ****** off with the whole situation. I'm also scared, I have no family too support me. I keep people at a distance, so they don't know what goes on.. so I have no real friends to speak of...
Am I crazy or is he really an alcoholic..?
I just want it to stop. I want my husband back but I think that man is long gone...
Forde
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
welcome to the forum Forde and to the sr site youl find a lot of support here
its up to your husband to make the change if he chooses to do nothing about it there isnt much you or i can do
i hope your husband finds this site its full of support
if you want you can check out the family & friends of alcoholics here on sr Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
and you can also try al anon http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/
or try this NEW! 12-Step Support for Friends and Family - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
or NEW! Secular Connections for Friends and Family - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
i hope this helps
its up to your husband to make the change if he chooses to do nothing about it there isnt much you or i can do
i hope your husband finds this site its full of support
if you want you can check out the family & friends of alcoholics here on sr Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
and you can also try al anon http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/
or try this NEW! 12-Step Support for Friends and Family - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
or NEW! Secular Connections for Friends and Family - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
i hope this helps
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: England
Posts: 808
Hello and welcome to SR, there's loads of support here from a lot of people who have experienced the same things.
The hope I can offer you is that you have not completely lost that man, he's in active addiction and won't be himself, but he is still in there somewhere.
You're not crazy, from what you've said, yes he is an alcoholic.
It can be fixed. I'm sure others who have more experience with this can give you advice on what to do next.
You sound like a very strong person to me, that will help you out in this endeavour. Well done on reaching out for support, you'll get it here
Thoughts are with you
The hope I can offer you is that you have not completely lost that man, he's in active addiction and won't be himself, but he is still in there somewhere.
You're not crazy, from what you've said, yes he is an alcoholic.
It can be fixed. I'm sure others who have more experience with this can give you advice on what to do next.
You sound like a very strong person to me, that will help you out in this endeavour. Well done on reaching out for support, you'll get it here
Thoughts are with you
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,429
Welcome Forde
I doubt you'll find many people say that here...I certainly wouldn't...'just beer' bought me to my knees.
I'm really sorry for your situation. I understand the anger and frustration you must feel.
There is support and understanding here tho. I hope you'll find some hope here, both in this forum and the other ones mentioned
D
I hear you saying beer, what's the problem its not vodka or heavy stuff.
I'm really sorry for your situation. I understand the anger and frustration you must feel.
There is support and understanding here tho. I hope you'll find some hope here, both in this forum and the other ones mentioned
D
Trudgin
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
Welcome to the SR family. You are not alone and may gain some insight from others - their experience, strength and hope as we say.
Truly sorry for your pain and can empathize. Please seek the support you need for yourself and your kids. Shutting out people in your community due to a feeling of shame is normal, but unhealthy. There are MANY close by you to lean on, but you will have to lift the veil of not wanting people to know. This is HIS problem, you have nothing to feel guilty about.
Al-Anon is a good start to gather information - both online and live.
Keep posting, check out the family and friends section of the forum and remember there are those who may be able to help!!
Truly sorry for your pain and can empathize. Please seek the support you need for yourself and your kids. Shutting out people in your community due to a feeling of shame is normal, but unhealthy. There are MANY close by you to lean on, but you will have to lift the veil of not wanting people to know. This is HIS problem, you have nothing to feel guilty about.
Al-Anon is a good start to gather information - both online and live.
Keep posting, check out the family and friends section of the forum and remember there are those who may be able to help!!
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