New here, ruining my life with alcohol
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,837
New here, ruining my life with alcohol
Hi everyone,
I've been drinking way too much for years. I'm a binge drinker, 2-4 times a week. starting to blackout a lot now. The other night I blacked out and became verbally abusive to my boyfriend ( again) and threw my drink in his face. I've been going through a rough patch lately ( school, a business, family problems, childhood issues surfacing) getting drunk and taking it out on him. I have done this in previous relationships as well. I'm a mean drunk after a certain point.
Luckily I haven't destroyed my life, but I will if I continue like this. Im losing clients at work, missing class, I have lost friends over my blackouts, woken up in bed with a stranger, now my boyfriend broke up with me.
Anyway, I need to stay away from alcohol and do some serious work on myself.
I'm trying to stay positive, my grades are still good, my business is somewhat in tact and the damage can be fixed.
My boyfriend and I were going to go backpacking in Cuba next month, but he cancelled his flight, I decided to keep mine and go alone, I could use some beach life and I'd love to see the ocean soon.
I started going to AA a couple days ago, I really like it, though I'm not religious and don't really want to work the steps, but I'll keep going. I love the people.
I got a nighttime job to keep me busy in the evenings, I'm looking forward to being an employee and not the employer, just have to show up, not run everything.
I just need to stay sober, I'm so embarrassed and disgusted with myself. So much shame. But I can move forward with a little help, I don't trust myself completely, but I think with support I can do this.
I look forward to this journey and a new chapter in my life, and also meeting some new people on here.
Thanks for listening to my pathetic story
I've been drinking way too much for years. I'm a binge drinker, 2-4 times a week. starting to blackout a lot now. The other night I blacked out and became verbally abusive to my boyfriend ( again) and threw my drink in his face. I've been going through a rough patch lately ( school, a business, family problems, childhood issues surfacing) getting drunk and taking it out on him. I have done this in previous relationships as well. I'm a mean drunk after a certain point.
Luckily I haven't destroyed my life, but I will if I continue like this. Im losing clients at work, missing class, I have lost friends over my blackouts, woken up in bed with a stranger, now my boyfriend broke up with me.
Anyway, I need to stay away from alcohol and do some serious work on myself.
I'm trying to stay positive, my grades are still good, my business is somewhat in tact and the damage can be fixed.
My boyfriend and I were going to go backpacking in Cuba next month, but he cancelled his flight, I decided to keep mine and go alone, I could use some beach life and I'd love to see the ocean soon.
I started going to AA a couple days ago, I really like it, though I'm not religious and don't really want to work the steps, but I'll keep going. I love the people.
I got a nighttime job to keep me busy in the evenings, I'm looking forward to being an employee and not the employer, just have to show up, not run everything.
I just need to stay sober, I'm so embarrassed and disgusted with myself. So much shame. But I can move forward with a little help, I don't trust myself completely, but I think with support I can do this.
I look forward to this journey and a new chapter in my life, and also meeting some new people on here.
Thanks for listening to my pathetic story
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Welcome to the forum its really nice to meet you Jsbodhi
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...t-25-a-22.html
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...rt-3-a-13.html
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...t-42-a-12.html
Youl find nothing but support here the 3 links are support links that youl hopefully find useful
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...t-25-a-22.html
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...rt-3-a-13.html
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...t-42-a-12.html
Youl find nothing but support here the 3 links are support links that youl hopefully find useful
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Toronto
Posts: 3,195
Welcome Jsbodhi. I could be the male version of you. Drinking was always fun for me with no major repercussions until my mid-20's. I found myself drinking more when socializing and for the first time I started drinking alone. It was around this time that I began drinking to the 'blackout' stage on occasion and would say and do things totally out of character. I ruined many relationships and friendships directly as a result of my drinking. My career suffered immensely as well.
I didn't do anything about my alcohol abuse until I had pretty much lost everything. It sounds like you are aware that you have a problem. Address your drinking now while you still have a life to save. I waited too long. Ended up on my parents doorstep at age 34 with nothing but 2 suitcases. Job, car, condo, girlfriend all gone.
I didn't do anything about my alcohol abuse until I had pretty much lost everything. It sounds like you are aware that you have a problem. Address your drinking now while you still have a life to save. I waited too long. Ended up on my parents doorstep at age 34 with nothing but 2 suitcases. Job, car, condo, girlfriend all gone.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,837
Originally Posted by Wastinglife 
Welcome Jsbodhi. I could be the male version of you. Drinking was always fun for me with no major repercussions until my mid-20's. I found myself drinking more when socializing and for the first time I started drinking alone. It was around this time that I began drinking to the 'blackout' stage on occasion and would say and do things totally out of character. I ruined many relationships and friendships directly as a result of my drinking. My career suffered immensely as well.
I didn't do anything about my alcohol abuse until I had pretty much lost everything. It sounds like you are aware that you have a problem. Address your drinking now while you still have a life to save. I waited too long. Ended up on my parents doorstep at age 34 with nothing but 2 suitcases. Job, car, condo, girlfriend all gone.
I didn't do anything about my alcohol abuse until I had pretty much lost everything. It sounds like you are aware that you have a problem. Address your drinking now while you still have a life to save. I waited too long. Ended up on my parents doorstep at age 34 with nothing but 2 suitcases. Job, car, condo, girlfriend all gone.
Thanks so much for replying!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
Originally Posted by Jsbodhi
Hi everyone,
Anyway, I need to stay away from alcohol and do some serious work on myself.
I started going to AA a couple days ago, I really like it, though I'm not religious and don't really want to work the steps, but I'll keep going. I love the people.
I look forward to this journey and a new chapter in my life, and also meeting some new people on here.
Thanks for listening to my pathetic story
Anyway, I need to stay away from alcohol and do some serious work on myself.
I started going to AA a couple days ago, I really like it, though I'm not religious and don't really want to work the steps, but I'll keep going. I love the people.
I look forward to this journey and a new chapter in my life, and also meeting some new people on here.
Thanks for listening to my pathetic story
HI.
There is a lot of help here and also many that don’t/can’t make it because they want to continue basically doing things their way which hasn’t worked.
In my experience AA will work IF the “directions are followed” and we avoid the short cuts.
Reading “How it Works” for an indication.
Lets also remember that we screwed up some of our system, both mental and emotional and it will take time to mend if we don’t drink one day at a time in a row.
I strongly suggest having a sponsor your comfortable with. A sponsor is sort of a guide that is of great value getting sober, the thing is we need to use them to benefit.
BE WELL
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 465
I'll echo what Wasting has said: this scenario is one I can relate to and I, too, lost everything. I'm 28 and am starting from scratch. I'm very glad you're realizing just what's at stake before you lose anything else.
Welcome, friend
Welcome, friend
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,837
Thanks!
I was mentioning in another thread about how my boyfriend filmed me during a blackout during the fight the other night. Not pretty....
Blank dead eyes, really red wine stained mouth, weird look on my face, like a psycho zombie. Didn't even look like me. Not a clip I'd like to see again... :/
Definitely need to straighten out and get a bloody grip
I was mentioning in another thread about how my boyfriend filmed me during a blackout during the fight the other night. Not pretty....
Blank dead eyes, really red wine stained mouth, weird look on my face, like a psycho zombie. Didn't even look like me. Not a clip I'd like to see again... :/
Definitely need to straighten out and get a bloody grip
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: England
Posts: 808
I can relate, everything you list there are many people here who have experienced exactly the same things. The main thing to remember is that things get so, so much better IF you decide to stop drinking.
I didn't get on with AA either, there are other options out there
I didn't get on with AA either, there are other options out there
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