Alcoholic schizophrenic, being
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Reno, Nv
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Alcoholic schizophrenic, being
Mental illness, I battle it daily. I can go from zero to crazy in minutes, antipsychotic medication can help, anti depressants, anxiolytics those medications are my life, without them I am standing guard at the door and waiting for them to come get me!
I fought it for much of my life, I pretended nothing was happening I discounted what I was thinking, I racked it up to being normal. Then I realized, real, absolutley tangible voice i could really here. They told me bad thngs, my food was poison that I could control the universe, then the TV talked to me, then I began to look for signs. I knew if I could find the right sign it would answer everyone's problems. I was the omnipotent control of the universe and held it all in my hands.
Disturbing I am sure, how do you rectify those views and place them in your own reality. I am not sure it can be done, lest you hear things or think things that aren't real. I did for a long time, I got good at holding two conversation at once the one in my head and reality.
How does this play into addiction, well as things got worse i poured alcohol on it all, I didn't want the stress of the " universe on my shoulders" I rejected help, I didn't want help, I didn't need help. I mean really I was totally capable and the things that happened were real.
I wasn't delusional the world was blind, and I had all the answers. The walls, silence,the tv, my friends, family didn't matter there was a deeper meaning and I had to find it.
I descended into delsusion did drugs and alcohol and gambled to make it go away, it never went away, my problems got worse and the b" voices got louder" the drum was beating but I was out of tune.
Its quite the cross to bear, mental illness is both scary and uncontrollable, you feel lost and like a god. The signs are so clear, and you drink and drink and drink and gamble to make it go away, but it doesn't you begin to believe you're own delusion disjointed reality. Scarey very scary and alll the while you drink or drug or both to make it stop......
Nothing stopped for me without medication, I descended in to absolute insanity and it cost me everything, but know if you're hearing things or feel like someone is going to get you or the TV, Radio whatever talks to you, or are looking for signs.... Get help my friend get help, you can silence the most evil and insidious thoughts, they aren't real, they won't be real, and neither alchohol, drugs or ignoring them is going to make them go away. Only medication will, so for the mentally ill alcoholic or gambling addict this is TDG's hope for you, there is a brighter future, and the pain and confusion can stop.
Good night my friends, just some insight into a scary world, if that world exist for you get help or PM me and I will tell you how to get help.
I fought it for much of my life, I pretended nothing was happening I discounted what I was thinking, I racked it up to being normal. Then I realized, real, absolutley tangible voice i could really here. They told me bad thngs, my food was poison that I could control the universe, then the TV talked to me, then I began to look for signs. I knew if I could find the right sign it would answer everyone's problems. I was the omnipotent control of the universe and held it all in my hands.
Disturbing I am sure, how do you rectify those views and place them in your own reality. I am not sure it can be done, lest you hear things or think things that aren't real. I did for a long time, I got good at holding two conversation at once the one in my head and reality.
How does this play into addiction, well as things got worse i poured alcohol on it all, I didn't want the stress of the " universe on my shoulders" I rejected help, I didn't want help, I didn't need help. I mean really I was totally capable and the things that happened were real.
I wasn't delusional the world was blind, and I had all the answers. The walls, silence,the tv, my friends, family didn't matter there was a deeper meaning and I had to find it.
I descended into delsusion did drugs and alcohol and gambled to make it go away, it never went away, my problems got worse and the b" voices got louder" the drum was beating but I was out of tune.
Its quite the cross to bear, mental illness is both scary and uncontrollable, you feel lost and like a god. The signs are so clear, and you drink and drink and drink and gamble to make it go away, but it doesn't you begin to believe you're own delusion disjointed reality. Scarey very scary and alll the while you drink or drug or both to make it stop......
Nothing stopped for me without medication, I descended in to absolute insanity and it cost me everything, but know if you're hearing things or feel like someone is going to get you or the TV, Radio whatever talks to you, or are looking for signs.... Get help my friend get help, you can silence the most evil and insidious thoughts, they aren't real, they won't be real, and neither alchohol, drugs or ignoring them is going to make them go away. Only medication will, so for the mentally ill alcoholic or gambling addict this is TDG's hope for you, there is a brighter future, and the pain and confusion can stop.
Good night my friends, just some insight into a scary world, if that world exist for you get help or PM me and I will tell you how to get help.
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