Hendrix

Now I've got over yesterdays anger issues the rollercoaster continues......

on an upward trend today

I watched the rugby for the first time sober and to my massive surprise really enjoyed it - something I always thought before was "how will I ever enjoy watching rugby again if I stop drinking?" Well it can be done.

But more - my daughter started her first ever part time job today and didn't finish till 9pm. Now usually there's no way my kids get lifts after midday on a weekend - and they've just got used to it - relying on buses and friends' parents.

Well I picked her up after work and we chatted all the way home - as it damn well should be - as it damn well should have been for the last 16 years!

So the rollercoaster continues - pride then shame!
If I think about it too much I want to cry with shame - but you can't change the past. I can however decide not to drink anymore and ensure I feel pride instead of self-hatred in the future.

Soberwolf

Way to go Hendrix !!

Anna

It's hard to deal with the past, but it sounds like you're doing really well. Your daughter will appreciate the changes you are making in your life.

HenryKrinkle

You can't change the past, Hendrix. Don't dwell on it.

Focus on the good, positive things you are doing in your life, and focus on continuing that in the future.

foolsgold66

Power through it. Can't change the past. Keep it 'as it damn will should be'. Right the wrongs, make the apologies, walk the walk. The shame and pain will fade.

Dee74

Today is the day that really counts Hendrix and sounds like you're doing great

D

Inchworm

What a joy for your daughter, Hendrix! Sweet!

Hendrix

Thanks for all the encouragement folks.
I do feel like I'm doing well - different and better than any previous attempt.
Sometimes I feel like I'm isolating myself though - not mixing with family and friends, spending tons more time on my own watching films, reading and on the internet. I can't focus on doing anything I usually like. I hope it's temporary as people on here describe - but the important thing is I haven't had a drink for 20 days and if it takes a bit of isolation to ensure a degree of self preservation then tough!
I could really do without this gout that's come back with a vengeance though!

You stop drinking and get a flare up of gout - there is no god!

Hevyn

So proud of you Hendrix. This is wonderful news. (Except for the gout...)

luvmygirls

Hendrix, the fact that you were able to drive your daughter today is a HUGE milestone. You sent a message to her that she can count on you. That's so wonderful.