heartbrokenK

So me and AH are still not living together but we were civil and he would come spend time w/me and the kiddos on Sunday. Then it was weird. He asked for my email password which I gave to him because I chalked it up to him just being insecure and wanting to know that I'm not being scandalous or cheating while being seperated. Then I found out he had an email which he never even gave me the password for so being the snooper that I am I got into it and I found out that he signed up for two sex hookup sites. No conversation was going on between him or anyone else but the fact that he even signed up makes me irate. Also he signed up as a free member and in order to contact other ppl you have to pay so that's prob what stopped him!This coming from someone who says he loves his family so much and wants to go to marriage counseling to work on us and supposedly he's been sober I feel betrayed. I've never felt I had to wonder about him cheating on me but now I do. Of course he denied it but on one of the profiles it said his occupation his town they all had his birthday his first name and more importantly his email was the login. I tested the theory of maybe it was just spam so I entered my email and it said no user found. He signed up for these sites a week ago. I feel looking at women on the internet is one thing but going through the process of make a profile and saying hi I'm a (insert job here) looking for a good time is another situation entirely. I seriously want to high five him in the face with a steel chair. So ya there has been no contact lately with him.

LexieCat

Sorry for your pain. The snooping isn't great for you (says one who has snooped), and giving him access to your email isn't a great idea. I'd suggest you register for a new one and keep that private. You don't have to be cheating to want to keep certain things private.

So now that you know what you know, does that change your expectations of what will happen as a result of this separation? Doesn't sound like he's done much in the way of recovery....

heartbrokenK

I've changed the email password so he can no longer access. I feel now as if I have no expectations. I'm just struggling to get through each day.

LexieCat

I hear ya, and one day at a time is all we can live.

There's no rush to DO anything, maybe just let things sit for a while, while you sort out your feelings. It wouldn't hurt to get a little legal advice, just so you know what your options might be. It doesn't mean you have to file for divorce, but knowing all the options can help when you are ready to start thinking about what you want to do over the long term. Sometimes what keeps us stuck is fear of the unknown--it can seem easier to deal with the unpleasantness we know than to take a chance on something better.

Hugs,

heartbrokenK

I had spoken to a lawyer when we seperated. Ya I was worried sick I couldn't support me and my 3 boys but guess what I have and actually have more money now!!! I definitely need to sort through my own life right now.

KKE

Do you use the same password for other stuff? Internet banking etc? If you do might be worth changing them too.

LexieCat

Hi, KKE! Good to see you!

heartbrokenK

I changed them all to something different