JaneLane

Hi everyone,

I am having trouble dealing with the frustration that seems to come with sobriety. I am fine, peaceful, practicing yoga, totally cool...then if there is a hostile situation, my adrenaline goes through the roof and I feel like I'm going to snap.

I'm fully expecting my anxiety and depression to get a bit worse whilst things get back into balance, but I wasn't expecting the anger at all. I've kept it totally under the radar so far and it's inside, but I don't know if that's healthy?

I'd really appreciate any advice!

Thanks

JT0626

Hi Jane!

Welcome to SR! I have had plenty of anger issues and even went to counseling for it. In counseling I learned that anger is a secondary emotion, there is always a primary emotion in the background that triggered the anger. As I became more self aware, I started learning what primary emotion evoked anger out of me. In my case shame & feeling unimportant would trigger my anger.

The next time you get angry do the following exercise: think about the PRIMARY emotion you felt initially. Then process what you are feeling. It takes lots of practice, in the beginning it was very hard for me to recognize the primary emotion - my anger was just too strong. But when you take the time to think about it, it will come to you.

Good for you for wanting to be sober. Keep coming back, we are here for you.

Anna

I think it's normal for there to be a lot of anger issues in early recovery. The trick is finding healthy ways to deal with the issues. You might think about journaling to help you get the emotions out.

least

How far along are you in recovery? Early months of recovery are a roller coaster of emotions. This too shall pass.

Hendrix

I don't have any advice, Jane - only to say you're not alone.

I'm feeling exactly the same way - I go from laid back to raging in the blink of an eye. It's not me at all - not when I drank. Hopefully as everything settles so will the mood swings.

HenryKrinkle

Anger and irritability frequently is how my anxiety manifests itself. I learned this about myself through my work with a therapist just in the past 2 years. It was something I never understood about myself, but I can see now it has been affecting me my whole life.

When I get my anxiety under control, the anger goes away.

Soberwolf

I agree with Least early recovery is a rollercoaster

LBrain

the good news is that the anger and anxiety were always there. the bad news is that you hid from it by drinking. the better news is that you can learn how to live again and deal with emotions in a more informed and mature manner as was already suggested.

Nuudawn

I too think anger and anxiety are the first big wallops of emotion we come up against in early recovery. As others have said...finding outlets to express your emotions are crucial. Anna mentioned journalling..and I'm a huge fan of that. It's safe way to express ourselves..and what's brewing and bubbling within does needs to be experienced and expressed.

I am part of face to face recovery support as well..and just the other day whilst listening to a newcomer, the anger in the delivery of her share was palpable and it was bumping up all against mine..it was like I could feel my own fury flare within..just listening to her. I wanted her to stop. I actually plugged my ears at one point...

I know that sounds odd..but well, I too am in early recovery and can feel extremely thin skinned or without adequate boundary at times...

Dee74

Hi Jane

I found exercise to be great for anger and frustration. I also tried to make gratitude lists.
I think making the grat lists was harder

D

JanieJ

Hi Jane from another Jane

I've noticed my anger has got deeper somehow, more intense, but it was always there, you know ?


I just tend to ride it and try not speak or act until I feel under control again, then look at what caused it, as Monica suggested.

Congrats on your sobriety .