Time to check in: Momma Posse Update
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,698
Time to check in: Momma Posse Update
Hello SR Family! Its been a while since I spent some time to reflect and share. If you know my username: then you have been walking for some time.
Newcomers, I signed on in the early times of walking with my son's addiction. Since the last update: JJ was doing well, but relapsed in our home. It was terrifying and due to a meth junk he was in need of detox. We decided that he needed to GET OUT! This after many attempts to "save JJ". He decided to get into a rehab which allows them to work and live sober. This was in May 2014. He "graduated" in September, and proceeded to move out. During his stay at the Fellowship, he found love. He met a lovely woman who was sober for 18 months. This relationship has been wonderful for him. He and his lady decided to make a go at living together outside of sober living.
They are living in a beautiful house with other roomates and he is working a full time job , as is she. She is a very loving and faithful person who is spiritually alive and goes to church regularly. My son is embracing his new life. I have little to no contact with him as he is adjusting to the full time job and his new life, but he also has stepped up in :
1: finding a place for them to live all by himself.
2: financing a vehicle all by himself.
3: getting himself a job all by himself.
SO: Momma goes into withdrawals because I am not being asked to handle this stuff
It's hard to hope at this point, but its is also hard to not hope.
For those who are working with active addiction, all I can share is that your efforts by themselves will be FRUITLESS.
It has to come from the addict, as to what or when they decide to change and want recovery.
The fact that my son is not relying on me or asking for things causes me to relapse. I am working on my own addiction: codependency.
Please know there is a bottom for the addict, there is a decision and there is a consequence.
NONE of that is due to our interference or even our love.
I feel empty sometimes because of the drama and the NEED for me to fix things. My recovery depends on faith in God and constant reinforcement mentally that things will end up as they will end up.
I don't stress about these issues with my two younger children (20 and 18).
My Hubby and I are due to celebrate 25 years of marriage, and we find ourselves blessed to have all three of our children present for that
so SR Mommas, Pappas, Grandma's Grandpas, and all:
Time will reveal all.
Our addicts CAN recover and they can RELAPSE. we have to find a way to live on and love on during these times. I pray that my son's love to his new lady will help him focus on things other than drugs.
For new members, I have posted for three years,and many of my stories are about the addict stealing, jail, going missing, my fear of death, etc.
They are moments that my SR family held me tight and prayed for us. They are moments behind me now and I hope they can give you all HOPE>
I re-read my deepest days and give God the glory for the future.
Love and Hugs to SR Family!
Teresa
Newcomers, I signed on in the early times of walking with my son's addiction. Since the last update: JJ was doing well, but relapsed in our home. It was terrifying and due to a meth junk he was in need of detox. We decided that he needed to GET OUT! This after many attempts to "save JJ". He decided to get into a rehab which allows them to work and live sober. This was in May 2014. He "graduated" in September, and proceeded to move out. During his stay at the Fellowship, he found love. He met a lovely woman who was sober for 18 months. This relationship has been wonderful for him. He and his lady decided to make a go at living together outside of sober living.
They are living in a beautiful house with other roomates and he is working a full time job , as is she. She is a very loving and faithful person who is spiritually alive and goes to church regularly. My son is embracing his new life. I have little to no contact with him as he is adjusting to the full time job and his new life, but he also has stepped up in :
1: finding a place for them to live all by himself.
2: financing a vehicle all by himself.
3: getting himself a job all by himself.
SO: Momma goes into withdrawals because I am not being asked to handle this stuff
It's hard to hope at this point, but its is also hard to not hope.
For those who are working with active addiction, all I can share is that your efforts by themselves will be FRUITLESS.
It has to come from the addict, as to what or when they decide to change and want recovery.
The fact that my son is not relying on me or asking for things causes me to relapse. I am working on my own addiction: codependency.
Please know there is a bottom for the addict, there is a decision and there is a consequence.
NONE of that is due to our interference or even our love.
I feel empty sometimes because of the drama and the NEED for me to fix things. My recovery depends on faith in God and constant reinforcement mentally that things will end up as they will end up.
I don't stress about these issues with my two younger children (20 and 18).
My Hubby and I are due to celebrate 25 years of marriage, and we find ourselves blessed to have all three of our children present for that
so SR Mommas, Pappas, Grandma's Grandpas, and all:
Time will reveal all.
Our addicts CAN recover and they can RELAPSE. we have to find a way to live on and love on during these times. I pray that my son's love to his new lady will help him focus on things other than drugs.
For new members, I have posted for three years,and many of my stories are about the addict stealing, jail, going missing, my fear of death, etc.
They are moments that my SR family held me tight and prayed for us. They are moments behind me now and I hope they can give you all HOPE>
I re-read my deepest days and give God the glory for the future.
Love and Hugs to SR Family!
Teresa
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
I saw the "momma posse" call and knew I had to come, the mama's here have walked with me a long time.
No update on my son, he's still missing lost in his addiction somewhere...or perhaps clean and just choosing not to call...but I still say a prayer every morning and give his care to God, asking Him to do for my son what I cannot...and then I live my life well, embracing the beauty in each day.
If there was one suggestion I could give to new mama's here, it would be to give your child the opportunity to learn their own lessons and face the consequences for their actions...it may save their lives. As the founder of SR, a recovering addict named Jon, once told me, "You very well could love your child right into the grave". Those words hurt but he was right, and I could add that trying to help my son almost killed ME.
That said, I didn't listen for a very long time, and in the meantime I was grateful for all those who walked with me on good days and bad and who shone their light when I could not find my own.
Love you all, I am proud to be walking with you.
Hugs
No update on my son, he's still missing lost in his addiction somewhere...or perhaps clean and just choosing not to call...but I still say a prayer every morning and give his care to God, asking Him to do for my son what I cannot...and then I live my life well, embracing the beauty in each day.
If there was one suggestion I could give to new mama's here, it would be to give your child the opportunity to learn their own lessons and face the consequences for their actions...it may save their lives. As the founder of SR, a recovering addict named Jon, once told me, "You very well could love your child right into the grave". Those words hurt but he was right, and I could add that trying to help my son almost killed ME.
That said, I didn't listen for a very long time, and in the meantime I was grateful for all those who walked with me on good days and bad and who shone their light when I could not find my own.
Love you all, I am proud to be walking with you.
Hugs
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