Chillly

I'm one week out from drinkin.

People say I need a plan.

Where did you start?

And how did you come up with YOUR plan?

StellaPolaris

Hi Chillly.

I tried to identify my triggers to be able to avoid them. Also I try to keep busy until 8 pm (when they stop selling alcohol in Norway). I changed my workhours, now I leave at 5, then go to the gym. By the time I've done my workout and showered it's usually close to 8. Call a friend, go to the movies or spend some time in here until it's time to drink my herbal tea and go to bed with a good book.

I'm trying to change all my routines. All my shopping is done after 8 pm (for the first time I'm happy about the alcohol politics in this country!). I plan a week ahead to make sure I'm not too much alone (which is when I would get drunk to pass time and cry over my sad life). Not too many programmes in this part of the world, but I would have looked in to AA.

I'm also reading a lot, books that have been mentioned here before ("Dry", "Drinking: A Love Story", "The Sover Revolution" and so on. Even Dr Phil to learn a bit about life management. ).

Mostly: I come in here whenever I feel alone or just need some voices of reason.

Nonsensical

I read about everything and tried nearly all of it. Then I kept what was working and ignored the rest.

doggonecarl

By listening to the people who had a lot of sober time. I might not have done exactly what they did, but neither did I dismiss it because if they were sober, something in their "plan" worked for them.

When it came to my own plan, it started with determining what I needed to stay sober. Determining what areas in my life needed bolstering to ensure I stayed on the recovery path. And determining what things in my life were a risk to my sobriety and doing what I could to eliminate them.

Chilly, what's been the main reason for your failure to remain sober? Figure it out and put something in place, a plan, to address that reason.

strategery

For me, I have learned to identify my triggers as well as acknowledge how I'm feeling (why am I feeling like I need to drink?). I then have to figure out what is going to work. Am I in a spot where I can just drink tea and be okay? Or is there the possibility I am leaning towards going somewhere to pick up a drink? If I think the latter is a very likely scenario, I get out of the house and distract myself with something I can do where I cannot drink or am not tempted to drink until I can go to bed.

Soberwolf

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I spoke with my doctor i went AA i spoke with a local based alcohol team and i done group therapy i kept my head down for a good 3 months and really started building sober muscles

the biggest thing in all of this tho is acceptance i read a lot as well i post on SR and learn a lot here aswell

hope the links helps

Judas

I think a lot of it is trial and error. It's the nature of recovery, to try one thing and if you relapse, do your best to learn from your short comings and then adjust. For myself personally, I have to be wary if I'm around certain members of my family. I have to plan "escapes" when I'm in certain situations. I think every person's play is different for the most part.

Nowsthetime

My plan is that im a non-drinker now. No room for any drinking and if I even consider it, i shut it down. I play the tape and i remember my last drunk. Then i comment on SR and read, read, read. It its too bad, I post.

I do Whatever it takes so that I don't get that 1st drink. If I go out im the designated driver and I always order a super sweet nonalcoholic drink.

I always have my smartphone to I'm always close to SR.

You need to figure out what will work for you. Make that plan and work it. Self awareness is so important!!!

You can do it!!!

LBrain

I knew that I was no longer going to drink no matter what. The rest I'm just winging it.
However, understanding the purpose behind the 12 steps, understanding the Buddhist philosophy of life and living, and just accepting that I cannot change the past have been a big help.

downtown3

For me the plan needed to be extreme in every respect. First thing was just to make a week sober. The only way i was able to do that was go to a doctor and get something. In all honesty i took the meds religiously knowing i couldnt drink with them as it would be extremely dangerous. I finally got to the point about a week in that all withdrawls were gone but still had a good amount of meds. I dumped them before i got addicted to those.

Now with a some what clear head i started to plan long term sobriety. It involved working out relegisously and getting a cycling coach who i would accountable to. I went to bed early and got up early like normal people do. When i was drinking i would stay up all hours of the night and wake up at 10 only to keep drinking. I stopped playing video games for a while as thats what i would do when drinking. I stopped going down to see friends where we would always drink. I told my loved ones that i am quitting drinking so they can keep an eye out for me. For the first few weeks i would give them my car keys so i couldnt go out at night to by booze if the urge came. I focused all my energies on starting an online business which kept me so busy that there wasnt even time to think about drinking. Almost a year later and i am still doing all of the above only with much greater success.

Aellyce

I came back to SR after a long break and never really attempting to get sober for good with the idea that I'm done trying to do this on my own, according to my own ideas and without any real recovery method. I posted a thread asking everyone how to get beyond 2-3 days of sobriety as that was all I could muster up... I joined the monthly class here on SR that was helpful for a while. Then I made contact with a couple other people here who were trying to get sober around the same time as me, and we did lots of PM interactions, about all sorts of things recovery related and just personal issues and life. That was very good for me initially because I was unsure how to do the group thing and there were no real boundaries in what we talked about. In the meantime, I also read and read and read - here on SR, books, on the web, whatever I could get into. I started to have a view on what recovery truly is.

After a little while, I started posting a lot here on the public boards and discovered that is what helps me best as far as SR goes. I also discovered that I really resonated with the world view and thinking style of some people with long term sobriety here, and started following their posts closely to learn, contacted them individually with questions, etc.

In parallel, I also explored a few things: first was RR and AVRT, some parts of it worked for me, others did not. Got a therapist, that was probably the most helpful thing apart from SR. Did a bit of AA. Exercise has been the other tremendously beneficial component of my recovery, both to help with cravings initially and with my moods in general. I got back into meditating. I made efforts to break the social isolation I lived in towards the end of my drinking, got out, met new people.

I would also suggest that if you are experimenting with approaches, don't reject one forever just because it does not seem beneficial at a particular time or stage of your recovery. For example, I quit going to AA meetings quite soon and never worked the program, but this is something I'm thinking about now after ~10 months. For some reason I now feel very interested. I think it's always a good idea to be open-minded and not have a priori reservations about something we have not even tried yet, luckily this part has never been difficult for me as I don't really tend to hold strong beliefs.

So in one word: experiment! And listen to others who have achieved what you would like to achieve and whose approach and thinking resonates with you.

JanieJ

At 39 days sober now, the only way ,and I mean the ONLY way, I have managed to stop is with support, and learning from long term soberists. SR and AA. I also told friends and family that I am not drinking any more so I can be accountable for that.

I have had to change a lot of my routines --I'm not watching TV, because I used to drink when I did that. I used to sit around a lot in the evenings and drink, but now
I read instead. I decorate. I clean. I go swimming. I do yoga and meditation.

I'm not long term sober, but it takes knowing yourself and your triggers and changing things accordingly to outwit you AV.

As others have said, I read, and am still reading, everything about alcoholism ,the Big Book, this site, books from Amazon, etc.

You're doing great, Chillly, just great.

JT0626

In my case, once I pin pointed my misery I was able to make the necessary changes. In my case alcohol was my misery. Alcohol excaberated my depression & feelings of hopelessness. Then, I found this site & made another discovery: I have NO control & alcohol is NOT an option for me. I was relieved when I realized that, now I know I won't be in that deep dark place anymore.

Just thinking about the deep dark place I was in last year is enough to keep me sober.

Fly N Buy

Always good topic and question, glad you're here!
Having failed without a plan - just didn't drink, I though was enough - had to be tried many times. I would state emphatically, I will not drink....Ultimately I did not have the tools in place to get over that first hump = 30 days.


So, this time - 162 days ago, a plan was loosely outlined and did/does evolve with life and reality.

First, regardless off what happened I was ready to accept I could not drink and would not. That is STILL repeated daily

Next, I went to AA meetings - at least once a day, sometimes 2-3 a day. I found comfort and wisdom from others who knew exactly what I was going through.

In a short time I found SR and this too became a life blood from virtual friends.

My nature is one of discovery and why - more so for HOW do I stay stopped which may buy me enough time leading to recovery. So, I read a lot of literature regarding getting and staying sober. I opened my heart and mind to everything......refusing, for the first time perhaps ever to rule out any ideas. Sought counsel from winners who were ex drunks!

I ate a lot of sweets to supplant sugar reduction. I slept a lot, took walks and prayed a lot.....still do.

Filled fridge with new drinks - ginger ale and fresca. Each day sober helped me get to the next one. I had a goal......to live soberly, just for TODAY. I may drink tomorrow or next week. I am not quitting forever, maybe. Just TODAY.

With those things I got through 30 days - then 60 - then 90 etc....

The plan evolved, but that is how I started my undrunkness after many, many years......

Hope it helps some - IT CAN BE DONE. Willingness is the big thing = one has to be ready!!!

peace
FlyN

Chillly

Hey, Thanks everybody!

So I'm still in baby steps mode here but, I've latched on to a couple of things.

I'm going back to my therapist on Monday (Been in therapy for years but with a total of 3 different therapists)

I'm boosting my job hunt efforts, and going to my county job placement department.

I'm stalking my kitchen with plenty of food.. A ton of cookies and different sodas.

And, it may seem superficial, but, I've been looking at dog adoption sites and am trying to envision what my life is gonna look like when I'm straightened out enough to adopt a senior rescue dog!!!! ..... Baby steps...

oh.. and it's 11:00 Pm and I'm actually laying in bed right now.. not sitting on a bar stool!!

Thanks again!
I'll keep ya posted

Nuudawn

At first, I literally sat down and made a list of things I could do instead ..when the urge to drink hit.
I've stumbled...
And so...I keep adding things. I've learned what I need...and some things that I don't.
I read a lot regarding recovery.
I am a big fan of counselling and community.
I stay aware of HALT...

lillyknitting

It took me years and constant agony to realize that drinking was not an option for me. Eventually I had to get tough on myself: change or die.

I had to stop going to the wet places I thought I loved.
I had to stop mixing with the old boozer mates.
I had to completely change my thinking about booze and see it for the poison it really is.
I was wasting my life
I had horrendous hangovers and would spend days getting over them
I knew I was damaging myself. I couldn't life that life any more.

If that meant sitting in then so be it. I get invites all the time. If it's going to lead to drinking, or with drinking people (boozers!) I don't go. Full stop.

I cannot tell you how immeasurably better my life is without booze, but, I have to be vigilant. As they say "stick with the winners".

I can tell you with all my heart, if I can do it then so can you, but you have to want sobriety more than anything else.

Eshgham

I built new routines. Each morning I wake up and do the same thing. Now, for the last 50 or so days, I've followed the same pattern and haven't had a drink.

Now I associate what I do in the mornings with not drinking. I feel like if I wake up and do this routine, I'm not going to drink. Because when I do this routine, drinking is just something I don't do. It's not part of my day.

JaneLane

This is such a good thread. I've taken notes on other people's advice; always good to add to the list!

I'm newly sober and there isn't anything unique I can add to what's already been said. I made a list of my triggers and it was *long*. It was basically every kind of strong emotion together with mental illness, boredom, sleep deprivation and hunger.
To be honest, I thought figuring out a plan would be more difficult than it was but it was the one time in my life I'd actually sat down sober, and planned something for my health rather than for work or my family or to change something outside myself.

I have relapsed so I really believe in trial and error. When I've lapsed, I've felt naff about it but then let it go so it doesn't eat up another day of my life.

My list is:
- Eat 3 meals a day (I didn't eat when I was drinking)
- Eat sugary snacks whenever I feel like I want to
- Fill the fridge with lots of different non-alcoholic drinks (I prefer fizzy as it fills me up and I drink it slowly)
- Read something sobriety positive at least once a day
- If I want to drink, write down my reasons for wanting to do so (I usually write them on my phone if I'm out) then go back and address the one by one. I do the same when I'm having a panic attack.
- Exercise every day (yoga)

SoberLife90

I made it easy on myself. No matter what drinking was no longer an option. No matter what happens I don't drink. I really didn't know exactly what I was going to do but I knew what not to do. I do have some sober hobbies though like working out, going to the movies, reading on here or hanging out in the chat. Talk to ya later.