Oversensitivity.
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Join Date: Aug 2014
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Oversensitivity.
I've been manning the reception at work and when I went into the staffroom people were laughing and then hushed up and were talking under their breath.
I know I sound paranoid, but its happened a lot and it's pretty obvious. I feel like I'm in high school again. I know I'm a little eccentric and stuff but this honestly feels like bullying. They make fun of me and laugh at me (about my weight, I have a funny walk where I kind of hop from an accident when I was younger) and it kind of feels like bullying.
Obviously when I was drinking I didn't care, but now I'm sober this kind of stuff bothers me.
I know I'm a big guy and I'm in my thirties but bullying is bullying. I feel silly about feeling bad about it.
I know it's a small thing, but it's every day and this is what I want to do with my life so I can't really get away from it.
I dunno, maybe it's a newly sober hyper-sensitive thing. I feel like I've worked hard at being the real me and when people tear me down for it, that hurts.
No Relapse, No Surrender.
Tom.
I know I sound paranoid, but its happened a lot and it's pretty obvious. I feel like I'm in high school again. I know I'm a little eccentric and stuff but this honestly feels like bullying. They make fun of me and laugh at me (about my weight, I have a funny walk where I kind of hop from an accident when I was younger) and it kind of feels like bullying.
Obviously when I was drinking I didn't care, but now I'm sober this kind of stuff bothers me.
I know I'm a big guy and I'm in my thirties but bullying is bullying. I feel silly about feeling bad about it.
I know it's a small thing, but it's every day and this is what I want to do with my life so I can't really get away from it.
I dunno, maybe it's a newly sober hyper-sensitive thing. I feel like I've worked hard at being the real me and when people tear me down for it, that hurts.
No Relapse, No Surrender.
Tom.
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
What others think is none of my business
They may have been talking privately about something
If this is definatly what you think it is then speak to someone but how is it going to look
Has anyone said anything to you directly ?
They may have been talking privately about something
If this is definatly what you think it is then speak to someone but how is it going to look
Has anyone said anything to you directly ?
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 301
Originally Posted by soberwolf 
What others think is none of my business
They may have been talking privately about something
If this is definatly what you think it is then speak to someone but how is it going to look
Has anyone said anything to you directly ?
They may have been talking privately about something
If this is definatly what you think it is then speak to someone but how is it going to look
Has anyone said anything to you directly ?
Stuff like that.
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 1,778
Aw, I'm sorry. People really can be insensitive assholes. I have been there and it sucks.
HUGE, HUGE hugs to you. xoxoxo I'm glad you're not letting it affect you too much. Just do your job and keep on keeping on. Hang in there.
HUGE, HUGE hugs to you. xoxoxo I'm glad you're not letting it affect you too much. Just do your job and keep on keeping on. Hang in there.
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Thomas thats bang out of order some will say thats banter and i have heard and recieved worse
but in no way do i agree with someone calling you a fat lad thats demoralising and its obviously getting to you
is this coworker or boss ?
but in no way do i agree with someone calling you a fat lad thats demoralising and its obviously getting to you
is this coworker or boss ?
learning to live
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 1,665
Hugs Thomas! Some people are just mean. I have been there with jerks too. Try really hard to ignore them. Kill them with kindness of just try really hard to ignore. Above all, do not let them know it affects you. Hang in there.
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Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 158
Dont let those people get into your head. At the end of the day the only thing you can control is yourself. Keep your head up high. Most grown adults who act like teenagers have their own set of issues they must deal with..for example, Acting like teenagers at the age of 40 lol.
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Wow, that's nasty Thomas, I'm sorry that you have to work in a place like that.
Hold your head up high and let the foolish comments go by. You are the winner, Thomas and those people have a lot to learn from you.
Hold your head up high and let the foolish comments go by. You are the winner, Thomas and those people have a lot to learn from you.
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Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,355
Hey man... I think most of us have been in those shoes..
I was bullied as a kid and I really dont know why. I mean, I was average size, average looks, and was just what I thought normal was...
My mom always said because they were jealous of me or felt threatened by me for some reason. I think that is where bullying stems from. You dont have to look like Brad Pitt for someone to be jealous of feel threatened by you. Do you talk to these people ever or do you put your head down and move on? I know it sounds hard, but you need to be the bigger and better person here and actively try to find common interests with these people.
And who the hell knows, maybe they are talking about your boss, and they think you will tell on them. NOT to say you should make fun of your boss either! It sucks man, from elementary school to high school I was picked on. Maybe it was because I was friends who were considered "not cool" or they didnt like the music I listened too... It sucks man and it is no fun. I wish people would grow out of that, and I like to say my friends and I now dont judge people by looks, weight, what they like etc... if they are cool to me, I am cool to them. Just try and keep your cool, be cool, and just be nice. Sorry this is happening to you.
I was bullied as a kid and I really dont know why. I mean, I was average size, average looks, and was just what I thought normal was...
My mom always said because they were jealous of me or felt threatened by me for some reason. I think that is where bullying stems from. You dont have to look like Brad Pitt for someone to be jealous of feel threatened by you. Do you talk to these people ever or do you put your head down and move on? I know it sounds hard, but you need to be the bigger and better person here and actively try to find common interests with these people.
And who the hell knows, maybe they are talking about your boss, and they think you will tell on them. NOT to say you should make fun of your boss either! It sucks man, from elementary school to high school I was picked on. Maybe it was because I was friends who were considered "not cool" or they didnt like the music I listened too... It sucks man and it is no fun. I wish people would grow out of that, and I like to say my friends and I now dont judge people by looks, weight, what they like etc... if they are cool to me, I am cool to them. Just try and keep your cool, be cool, and just be nice. Sorry this is happening to you.
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Location: Florida
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Aw Thomas, I'm sorry. This is downright bullying and I'm sad to say it exists everywhere -- even for us adults. I've been on the end of it myself and it hurts. I believe that people who go out of their way to belittle others are in pain themselves. Please just focus on you and not what bullies have to say, you're doing so great.
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Originally Posted by soberwolf
Thomas thats bang out of order some will say thats banter and i have heard and recieved worse
but in no way do i agree with someone calling you a fat lad thats demoralising and its obviously getting to you
is this coworker or boss ?
but in no way do i agree with someone calling you a fat lad thats demoralising and its obviously getting to you
is this coworker or boss ?
Honestly though, I think part of it is jealousy. I don't say that to sound arrogant, but I've done very well in a short space of time in personal training. I might be a fat lad but I'm a fat lad that can outperform most of the guys who work there. I've gotten far with my approach of "I know what you're going through, come train with me we'll lose weight together" kind of niche and I don't think they like that. I'm big but I'm fit for my size.
The kind of guys that I work with are often the guys who were always in shape and I think my connection with members bothers them.
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Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,355
Originally Posted by Thomasthetank
It's a coworker. I'm in an uncomfortable position where I'm on probation for the next few months (most jobs do that nowadays) and he's mates with the managers so I don't think it would go in my favour.
Honestly though, I think part of it is jealousy. I don't say that to sound arrogant, but I've done very well in a short space of time in personal training. I might be a fat lad but I'm a fat lad that can outperform most of the guys who work there. I've gotten far with my approach of "I know what you're going through, come train with me we'll lose weight together" kind of niche and I don't think they like that. I'm big but I'm fit for my size.
The kind of guys that I work with are often the guys who were always in shape and I think my connection with members bothers them.
Honestly though, I think part of it is jealousy. I don't say that to sound arrogant, but I've done very well in a short space of time in personal training. I might be a fat lad but I'm a fat lad that can outperform most of the guys who work there. I've gotten far with my approach of "I know what you're going through, come train with me we'll lose weight together" kind of niche and I don't think they like that. I'm big but I'm fit for my size.
The kind of guys that I work with are often the guys who were always in shape and I think my connection with members bothers them.
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Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Christchurch
Posts: 451
I was at an overseas conference once and went out for dinner with a large group of executives. At the time I was going through hell in my relationship and had been over eating and binge drinking so was very over weight. Everyone at the table was some kind of athlete and they were talking about races they had entered and whatnot. One of them looked at me and said " pipping, how many triathlons have you done? The whole table burst out laughing. People can be assholes and I am sorry I have no advice for you. What works for me is making a conscious effort to be respectful and kind to everyone I meet. I am no Pollyanna and don't get it right all the time but not acting like a Fwit makes me feel better about myself ((( TTT)))
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Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Christchurch
Posts: 451
I was at an overseas conference once and went out for dinner with a large group of executives. At the time I was going through hell in my relationship and had been over eating and binge drinking so was very over weight. Everyone at the table was some kind of athlete and they were talking about races they had entered and whatnot. One of them looked at me and said " pipping, how many triathlons have you done? The whole table burst out laughing. People can be assholes and I am sorry I have no advice for you. What works for me is making a conscious effort to be respectful and kind to everyone I meet. I am no Pollyanna and don't get it right all the time but not acting like a Fwit makes me feel better about myself ((( TTT)))
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: New Orleans, LA
Posts: 985
Sounds like you're working in a gym/training facility. I'm sure many of the customers do choose "fit but thick" over "pretty-body" because they don't want to be judged. So, yes, you are likely siphoning clients from other less-approachable trainers & this must be very confusing to them as we live in a fat-phobic culture.
Folks who starve & exercise their bodies into submission will surely resent those happily inhabiting their bodies.
I have no advice, except that while you come to terms with this, you might want to keep an eye open for a place to work in your field with like-minded coworkers. You can fond (or create) a situation with both...
Also, sober I am much less confident, & I simply have to be patient with my less secure self. Get to know her. Support her. Try to respect her, rather than having disdain for her, because that's not helping anything! Don't know if that parallels your task...
Finally, ignore people with small hearts. We simply don't have space for them during this phase of our lives...
Folks who starve & exercise their bodies into submission will surely resent those happily inhabiting their bodies.
I have no advice, except that while you come to terms with this, you might want to keep an eye open for a place to work in your field with like-minded coworkers. You can fond (or create) a situation with both...
Also, sober I am much less confident, & I simply have to be patient with my less secure self. Get to know her. Support her. Try to respect her, rather than having disdain for her, because that's not helping anything! Don't know if that parallels your task...
Finally, ignore people with small hearts. We simply don't have space for them during this phase of our lives...
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 443
Based on what you've shared, the title of this thread should not be "Oversensitivity," but rather "100% Normal Sensitivity." Your coworkers are totally out of line.
Sounds like a difficult situation but hopefully discussing it here will help to keep it out of your head.
Sounds like a difficult situation but hopefully discussing it here will help to keep it out of your head.
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Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 40
Hang in there. The comment about walking was without a question uncalled for and just rude. As a heavy girl myself I too thought that people were always taking about me and my weight and going to the gym...please don't you know I was sure everyone was making fun of the cow on the elliptical. But when I had gastric and slimmed down I realized that it was all in my head. Because we think so poorly of ourselves we feel everyone around us see the same thing. It could be that your co-works just don't know how to read you or if you can laugh with them.
Hope this helps, much love and support.
-TX
Hope this helps, much love and support.
-TX
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