jvanderk

Well I finally did it. And by did it I mean I lost the love of my life by showing up at the airport to pick her up drunk. Now after three years of being with her she has had enough and I dont blame her. I want to be sober but why is it that misfortune perpetuates me to drink?

Anna

Hi and Welcome back,

It's the cycle of alcoholism, and it inevitably spirals downwards unless you stop drinking.

I'm glad you decided to post.

ScottFromWI

It's a vicious cycle. Drinking is the cause of our pain and suffering, yet we continue to hold out hope that the very cause will somehow be the solution. It's a lot like thinking that somehow pouring gasoline on a burning fire will somehow put it out...but in reality it simply makes everything worse.

For me the initial solution was acceptance. Specifically, acceptance of the fact that I am an alchololic. Acceptance that there is no worldly reason that can explain WHY I am an alcoholic either, I simply AM. And I always will be, no matter how much my addiction tries to tell me otherwise.

Once I accepted that, i was able to work out some plans to help me live without drinking. You can do the same, and your plan might be completely different from mine or anyone elses, but it is absolutely possible.

Soberwolf

Welcome Back Jvanderk

SoberLeigh

Welcome back, jvanderk, to SR.

The unhappiness, despair and loss caused by alcoholism has brought many of us to our knees and a new, sober way of life.

jvanderk

Thank you for your words... I just feel so lost right now... it is a horrible feeling. Can I truly dig myself out?

doggonecarl

What misfortune occured that prompted you to drink before driving to the airport to pick up your girlfriend. I'd guess no misfortune. Drinker drink. Alcoholism perpetuates you to drink.

Quit blaming misfortune. Quit blaming anything. Just quit.

SoberLeigh

Absolutely, jvanderk; you can dig yourself out and build a good life.

ScottFromWI

Yes - without question. Our bodies and lives have an amazing capacity to recover and improve. It won't be easy and it won't happen overnight, but you can start right now, this second if you want to.

FreeOwl

misfortune isn't responsible for your continued drinking. Addiction is.

I'm sorry for your pain and your loss.

This would be a fantastic time to use that pain and loss as a catalyst for change.

YOU hold the key to digging yourself out. It starts with opening your willingness fully and making a choice.

Are you ready to do whatever it takes to change your life for the better?

If so, you can make that choice RIGHT NOW, and then begin acting on that choice.

Many of us have done it.... millions before us and millions to come will also. You can too.

Wastinglife

Hi jvanderk, I have been there. Lost the girl I thought I would marry to the booze. She was the last thing to go. Lost everything else before that. You just gotta say 'enough is enough'. Time to stop the madness.

jvanderk

I didn't drive. I Live in south korea and I have acute anxiety and I ran out of pills for that. SO my stupid mind thought it would be a good idea to drink the symptoms away. Bad move. I wish I could time travel backwards and just deal with the anxiety

FreeOwl

ahhh yes... the expat community in South Korea is a helluva drinking scene. I'm sure that doesn't help at all.

AA in Korea: Home

nomis

Hey JV,

I remember you saying last time you were here that your girl was the reason you were staying put. I dunno man, one of the best pieces of advice I was given when I was getting sober was a question: what are you willing to do to get sober? If the answer is not much, aside from cold turkey, then it's going to be a tough battle.

Hawk07

Getting out of the vicious cycle will take every fiber of your being. It sounds like you really want to stop and you can. Formulate a plan. We can help you here. I'm sorry you lost your love but the best way to move forward from that is to start living your life well start moving out of the muck alcohol created and pursue a sober life. One day at a time.

biminiblue

Your anxiety will most definitely be improved if you stop drinking.

I thought I needed to drink to stay calmer. Turns out I had caused my anxiety and depression with drinking.

Read around these forums. This is the case with alcohol.

Stop today and never blow up another relationship because of alcohol.

jvanderk

Well, I managed to convince my girlfriend to stay with me on the condition that I remain sober. I'm deathly afraid that I've made a false promise. I think she equates my drinking with me not loving her, which obviously isnt the case. Gah.... I hope I can do this.

MythOfSisyphus

Time to make a change then, jvanderk. Do whatever it takes to put down the booze for good.

Soberwolf

I have a similar arragement, my gf sees it as if i drink i am choosing to get drunk rather than be with her my gf knows and so do i that being sober and in the arms of her love is my favorite place in the world so why would i go and drink ive learnt my lesson and this could
be it for you too

It took me 3 months of trying to get me into my first ever stint of sobriety & im at the 16 month mark me and my gf are happily in love light years away from my drinking days

You really can do this jvandderk good luck pm me anytime