Axiom

Hope everyone had a great weekend.

I am new to going to AA and trying to figure out how to find the right sponser. Everyone has been welcoming and a few people have given me their phone number and told me to call if I needed to talk. However, in the meetings I've been to a few people have shared stories about issues with sponsors. I am wondering how you go about getting a sponsor and how to know if they are right for you?

barefootjunker

Look for the guys that are there at a lot of meetings that you attend, and have a lot of sobriety under their belt. My sponsor is 23 years sober, Look at it this way, there a lot of people with a year or 2 that still are active, but those that have 10 + years and are still active in the program today regularly are those that want to be there and will help. Someone with say a year would be ok for like a co-sponsor, as even then these guys are going to be seeking advice from the guys with a lot of sobriety under their belt in dealing with those they sponsor. At least they should be.

IOAA2

Hi.
This having a sponsor is like having an important, to you, guide. I called my first one a temp. because like you I didn’t know what to expect.
Please don’t take temporary as someone we can fire if we don’t like what they say because there will be things that we may be fearful but highly recommended we do. I didn’t like the thought of getting involved or sharing at meetings but they were great things for me to do for my recovery.

BE WELL

keithj

First (and maybe only) requirement is that they have had a spiritual awakening as the result of taking the 12 Steps. Beyond that, someone that isn't shy about owning a BB, has a full working knowledge of the Steps, and demonstrates (not talks) a level of contented sobriety that you would like to have.

jakec

I agree with Keith. My sponsor has 2 years sober and he's, in my opinion, more spiritual than some people I've seen with many many years.

I don't understand why people think you need to have over a year to sponsor people. When AA first formed they would go through the program in a very short time, I'm talking less than a month, and immediately begin taking others through the steps. Time sober doesn't nessecarily equal recovery, its the work that they do that does. It was pretty easy for me to tell who I wanted and who I didn't.

Good luck.

Fly N Buy

I choose a sponsor quickly, and it's been a good relationship. There's an old saying in AA of stick with the winners. I wanted some one with long tenured sobriety who was developed spiritually.

Frankly, I was fortunate. If I were doing it over again.....My tip would be get to know someone for awhile. See if there actions and behaviors mimic what they say when sharing. Are they practicing what they preach, so to say....

Here's a link to an AA pamphlet on the question that may help as well
Alcoholics Anonymous : Questions and Answers on Sponsorship

Keep going, it really does work!

Anna

Good luck with your search for a sponsor.

Soberwolf

Good Luck

Hope4Life

Attend more meetings and pay attention to those people who have what you want. Listen to their shares and watch how they interact with people before, during and after meetings. I suggest that you arrive early and hang around after meetings and chat with folks. This is the best way to get to know your potential sponsors.

Give it some time and it will become clearer who has what you want.

Hawks

Can you indicate what your looking for ?

You wanna just do meetings & just don't drink ?

Wanna take the steps as outlined in the book ?

Its hard to answer what to look for, until you can indicate, what your aiming for .

MIRecovery

In addition to a lot of good suggestions find some one who has time for you. My sponsor is retired which works out well for me

stephendu

This may be a bit of a gamble. There are good and bad whereever you go. I had to fire my sponsor.