jmbrandon87

So today is particularly hard. I'm in my first week of sobriety from alcohol. My home life, relationship and financial situation are all taking a toll on me emotionally. I think today, the only thing that will help me not to down an entire bottle of vodka or Merlot is if I clean my apartment top to bottom and then go for a walk and listen to music. My emotions and mood swings are unbearable. I have been happy, mad, sad, and confused all since I woke up today. It's helping that I'm writing to you all about this. I'm so confused and without alcohol it's adding to my anxiety and confusion.

ScottFromWI

I did a lot of cleaning of my house in the early stages too. It's completely normal for your emotions to be all over the map early on, our minds are used to being sedated a good portion of the day so it takes a while to get used to this new found clarity.

least

The more sober time you have, the more 'settled' you will feel. It gets better!

MnEman

you are in the worst stage, at least it was for me. Do WHATEVER you have to to say sober. Sleep, eat, bathe, work, walk, read, movies, whatever. Once you get though the first phase you can start focusing on balance. try to do things that get you outside your own head, that will be you biggest hurdle. Good luck, post back, let us know how its going!

growpath

Hey jmbrandon.

I smile when I see your threads because you are EXACTLY where I was recently.

Do whatever it takes to not drink. You CAN do this and will be soooo thankful you didn't drink.

I trusted these people at SR who said it gets better (cursing them at the same time) LOL!! and sometimes that was the only thing that kept me from drinking. The moods, the rawness of emotions, sickness, hard times EVERY thing will pass.

Me at 25 days sober is night and day at 30 days...THATS ONLY FIVE DAYS. Things turn around and get easier. We just HAVE to keep going to find out. Trust me on this one...it WILL get better! You cant quit though. Don't quit right before a miracle could happen!!

Hang in there jmbran!! Hugs!

Also, something to note. The ONLY cure for that anxiety is NOT drinking! One week is SOOO fresh I was an anxiety ridden mess then so much that I made myself literally sick....or the WD did..something. Anyway, I got through it and SO WILL YOU!

Rina

I feel for you! Staying sober and dealing with life's problems is something new we have to retrain our brains to handle without self medicating. Stay healthy! You are not alone in this!

FreeOwl

yeah.... I can relate.... heck even at almost 11 months I have days like this. Today I feel depressed, anxious, excited, joyful, unmotivated, sad and fearful.

I feel grateful and blessed and scared.

I feel paralyzed and I feel like I'm growing.

It's a darn circus in there.....


So I journaled with friends at coffee after the early bird AA meeting. I'm doing some cleaning around the house. Gonna get out in the sunshine (rare this time of year) and take in some fresh air. Gonna keep moving and recognizing the feelings. "Ahhh... I see I'm feeling anxious... Now I see I'm feeling excited.... now a little sad...". I find just noticing and labeling them out loud is helpful.

I'm not going to drink, that won't help anything. I'm going to keep on with my day and chip away at things and remind myself that it's all constantly-shifting, constantly in flux. No feeling or situation is forever. And rather than run away from the chaotic and the uncomfortable, I'm just going to let it be, notice it, offer myself some comfort.

It does get better - yet it also comes back. Because, this stuff is LIFE. It's the life we didn't live while we tried to numb it and push it away and run from it. So it feels overwhelming and scary because we've never really done it on our own. We've never been brave enough to look it right in the eye and say "yeah.... I can see that you're scary. I can see my own sad face.... but I'm gonna love this life anyway. I love ME anyway...."

Learning to do that takes time and courage and practice.

You can do it.

Anna

I'm glad you posted, JM, and you will find lots of support here.

Soberwolf

Hang on jmbrandon it will get a lot better

Congrats on your first week of sobriety

Erratic

I hear u a lot on what ur going through xx just keep trying it will get better. Ur finance situation should be a little easier. As u will be saving. Money in not drinking. I have noticed a little in mine.

Good to see u here x

jmbrandon87

@FreeOwl, that really helped! It hit home. I'm going to try that. Not being afraid of all the thoughts and emotions, but recognize them and let them be. It will be easier than fighting them off like I've been trying to do, unsuccessfully! Thank you all for not judging and for your comments. Tonight, I'm going to make dinner with my friend and have hot cocoa since it's cold outside, instead of vodka! Lol