Rina

I'm almost 6 months sobes! But, feeling so overwhelmed tonight. I got sober after waking up in jail for getting my first DUI and it has totally blown up my life. I've just accepted an offer on my house and will be moving into a broke down rental in a few weeks. I am currently on probation where I have to be randomly urine tested at any time. I have a restricted license and ignition interlock on my car that scares the Bejeesus out of me. I am single and relying on my parents for work(feeling totally guilty and loserish that I am putting them through all of this but this is why I'm selling my house--to pay them back all of the debt I have accrued). Now the holidays are coming up and I'm not looking forward to facing my extended friends and family still single, a criminal and a mess. All I can think about is how much I wish I could go back in time before my DUI and not drive that night but I know I would be still drinking myself into an oblivion every weekend. This sucks.
I'm working on my fourth step and I know that I have a lot of anxiety and self deprecating habits and they are kicking in hard core tonight.

Dee74

There will be a lot of support here Rina. There's no reason why you can't get through this festive season sober.

Try not to live in the future too much...day by day gets the job done

D

Anna

Rina, be very proud of yourself that you're six months sober!

That's great!

Understandably, you have messes to clean up, as I did too. It's not easy moving forward in recovery, but it sounds like you are doing well.

Soberwolf

Hi Rina i was at 5 months sober last christmas my gf family didnt know i was alcoholic and drink was being offered it was tough because i had no support i didnt drink but it was pure willpower

this christmas il be 17 months sober and not only am i lot stronger il have so much support from all my friends here i wont be relying on willpower this year as im ok with it

Hang on in there Rina its gets tons better well done on 6 months

Inchworm

I think I've been worried about the holidays some, too, Rina. It's a first for both of us. Maybe we need a holiday thread.

SoberLeigh

We are here for you, Rina; lean on us; post often.

Six months sober is fantastic. I hope you can step back and see the sober person who is taking very responsible steps to make financial repayment to her parents (and by selling her house, no less - that is major) and to maintain her sobriety by working the Steps; she looks pretty impressive.

Rina

Thanks guys! I am wallowing. A holidays thread would be a good idea! How do we start one?

least

Congrats on six months sober!

Try not to project into the future too much. Concentrate on today. We don't live in the future, we have to live in the now.

Keep on keepin' on.

Rina

Thanks Leigh! I appreciate your support!

Rina

I am so bad at living in the present!!!!!

439trish

So happy for your 6 months, and look at the courage you have to face things and want to make them better.....I thank you for your post and hope all the best for you.

happyandfree

Hi Rina - it sounds like you are taking care of business. We can't turn back the time, all we can do is do the best we can today. In time, you will feel proud of yourself again. You are heading in the right direction. ..6 months is fantastic. We will all get through the holidays together. Hey, the holidays will be better this year because we will be sober.

Rina

Thanks. You just reminded me that last year I cancelled going to my cousins house the day after Christmas because I preferred staying alone in my cave and drinking Pinot Grigio while watching holiday movies..at least I know I won't be doing that on any more holidays!

Dee74

I bumped an old thread....
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...val-guide.html

D

Rina

Thanks Dee!

Hevyn

Rina, It's all going to get better. Talking to us here is a very good thing. We all understand, like no one else can.

As you said, even without the DUI you would've been drinking yourself into oblivion every weekend. I won't go so far as to say you needed the DUI - but it did cause you to stop abusing yourself with alcohol. I've been there - two DUI's in fact. Was a slow learner and didn't get it right until coming to SR - completely broken & brought to my knees. You will rebuild your life and create an even better one. I'm sorry you're down, but you will rise above this.

Rina

Thank you Hevyn. I am trying to remain hopeful. It helps to know you were able to get through it.

Nonsensical

It's an unfortunate phenomenon in our society that we keep score with personal finances. We compare what we have - house, career, money in the bank - either to what others have or to what our goal is to have, and determine whether we are winning or losing.

It's really just a bunch of made up BS.

You're defeating an addiction. In SR society we know THAT is more valuable than anything you can ever own.

Enjoy the holidays. You earned it!

Rina

Thanks Nonsensical! This is true. I love your quote by the way. So perfect for me right now.

Briar

I really like how you put that. I hadn't thought of it that way. Thanks!