walkinganewpath

Such a thing/phase in dealing with an AH? While I still feel safe and am working on myself and making sure the kids not only are safe but that they feel safe too, I can see the progression starting to get too far for him to pull back from unless he makes it some kind of priority and not a joke anymore. He spent 28 days in inpatient rehab halfway across the country. Made it one week before picking up a drink and by the 2nd week had his first binge/bender that lasted a solid four days (no work, sleep, drink, annoy the heck out of everyone in the house, maybe eat and do over).

He's the girl with the curl in the middle of her forehead....we've been married for 25 years, have two kids 11 and 8. Known each other since we were 7. Needless to say that's a lot of stuff to grow up 'together' with and he's usually been the one dragging behind with me as his classic enabler for everything in life. All this said I do adore the jack#$$...sober he's an awesome person. I also know that just 'not drinking' isn't enough for him. I'm not pushing him towards AA but am encouraging whatever else he wants to throw himself into (if it isn't one of his triggers/encouragements to drink)

I've been going to Al Anon one to two times a week, seeing a therapist and putting together an emergency safety plan in case it is needed for whatever reason I deem necessary. I'm not in any kind of financial situation yet to support me and the kids but am working on it. If it was an emergency I could do it with some help from family.

Also though...things are a bit better at home. I can see the impact my own changes in thought, behavior, and actions has on AH as well as my kids. I'd like to see if that continues as I continue working on me.

So in light of all that have no immediate plans to do anything other than have a plan B as well as patience, perspective and prayer.

Realistic Optimism at this phase or am I denying the inevitable?

LexieCat

Hi, walking,

As a recovered alcoholic myself, I think you are right on that he needs more than "just not drinking"--which is why most alcoholics DO go back to drinking. AA recovery can do that--make deep-down changes that just distracting oneself with other interests does not. Still, you can't "push" him that way (or any way, for that matter).

I think you can be realistically optimistic for yourself, but if he's treating his own recovery like a "joke" then he might not quite be there yet. Time will tell. Making contingency plans for yourself and your kids will not hurt a bit and might be a HUGE help if you should need them.

walkinganewpath

These two stickies helped me with putting my own plan together

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...goiong-do.html

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ituations.html