***** this habit
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Reno, Nv
Posts: 873
***** this habit
Its easy thread why does alcohol suck, and how are we going to beat it? Alcohol took my sanity, my daughter, my friends, and could take my life screw this habit...... Screw this habit with me! 3 full days sober yay..... @#$# alcohol.
Last edited by Dee74; 11-14-2014 at 10:20 PM.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,432
Personally I think it's futile to hate alcohol Jeremy. It's a liquid. Don't open the bottle, and it's as harmless to you as it is to everyone else.
My problem wasn't alcohol, it was alcoholism.
Luckily there's a solution for that - with abstinence, a little commitment and hard work my life is as good as anyone elses now
D
My problem wasn't alcohol, it was alcoholism.
Luckily there's a solution for that - with abstinence, a little commitment and hard work my life is as good as anyone elses now
D
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Reno, Nv
Posts: 873
Dee, you're so smart and well spoken brother. I keep falling off, I lie often I guess that is apparent from my post at times. I am only 3 days sober again, I know I read you drank for over 30 year before you got sober.
How do I do this, I don't want to be one of the lost ones, you know those that disappear from the fourums into oblivion presumably because they lost their battle or decided to just drink.
I have have the mental hospital, AA, a good sober friend, and lots of refferals from CPS for inpatient, outpaitent, and everything in between.
Share with me, what was the turning poing for you, how does one commit to sobriety, how is it done? So confused.
How do I do this, I don't want to be one of the lost ones, you know those that disappear from the fourums into oblivion presumably because they lost their battle or decided to just drink.
I have have the mental hospital, AA, a good sober friend, and lots of refferals from CPS for inpatient, outpaitent, and everything in between.
Share with me, what was the turning poing for you, how does one commit to sobriety, how is it done? So confused.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 6,224
Jeremy I think one of the things we do when we are addicted is protect our drug of choice by making it too complex to get sober. I know I did. I had dozens of reasons not to stop, it was always impossible for me to stop drinking because ...
When you take away the reasons not to stop and eyeball the problem you can see perfectly clearly that your number one priority in life has to be sobriety. You know this, you have said it often, you do keep working towards it.
Rehab would help you I'm sure and you have implied that it would but you keep finding reasons not to go. Why not go and let the rehab people advise you about court dates? In rehab you could let go of the web of reasons and focus on sobriety plus you would still have all of us.
You commit to sobriety by making it the #1 thing in your life, everything else follows.
When you take away the reasons not to stop and eyeball the problem you can see perfectly clearly that your number one priority in life has to be sobriety. You know this, you have said it often, you do keep working towards it.
Rehab would help you I'm sure and you have implied that it would but you keep finding reasons not to go. Why not go and let the rehab people advise you about court dates? In rehab you could let go of the web of reasons and focus on sobriety plus you would still have all of us.
You commit to sobriety by making it the #1 thing in your life, everything else follows.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,432
This is the short hand version Jeremy
I didn't want to die...but that very quickly turned into a burning desire for change.
I wanted to be better, I wanted to reach my potential, and I knew that drinking, even one drink, meant I'd always be floundering about and getting further away from my goal.
You've got a lot to deal with J...as did I...but it's still far from impossible.
You have to stop seeing getting drunk as a viable option - because it's not.
You seem to me to have a lot of courage, a great sense of duty to those you love and, when you're not drinking, you have a lot of integrity.
Think about those things - use them next time you feel overwhelmed and get the urge to run away for a while.
Running away is a luxury neither of us have any more, man.
Originally Posted by Dee74
I think most folks know my story.
The turning point for me was acceptance - acceptance that I was an alcoholic - and the acceptance that I could not drink 'like everyone else'.
So I stopped drinking. I did everything I could to maintain that commitment. I still do, nearly 3 years on - every day.
I nearly died, so fear played a large part in that - I also spent a lot of time here@ SR reaching out, and a lot of time tossing and turning, kicking the walls and deliberately not going out when all I wanted was to run down the road and get a bottle.
It's not easy but I believe it is possible to do that and not give in to the inner voice. The folks here helped me immensely by giving me faith in myself when I had none.
But yeah, not drinking only got me so far. I see not drinking as only the first step in a long journey. I had to change the person I was too.
My alcoholism *became* all pervasive but I believe I *started* to drink for definite reasons - mostly to fill a void within myself.
To heal my 'void', the first step is to stop poisoning myself with drink. I then had to get into what the void was, and how best I could start healing it.
It was a paradox for me to discover that the way towards that was not by thinking more about it, but actually thinking less, and doing more.
I did a lot of service work here, and still do because it helps me to be of service and to give back after many years of taking. It also helps keep me grounded and in perspective.
I also rediscovered my spiritual side - my initial recovery was secular - just don't drink...but it's hard to ignore the wonder in this world when you really start to recover.
It's hard for me to drink when I'm connected to the world in a more than a material way, and when I'm humble and grateful for the blessings I get everyday.
You know I could go on, but that's enough really LOL.
I'm not looking to start a school - I hope my experience helps others but I'm just a guy who found what he needed because he really wanted to quit and he looked hard enough for the way that worked for him.
I encourage everyone to do that. Start the process right away tho - don't wait for 'your way' to fall into your lap - you'll only find 'your way' by going out looking for it, trying a bunch of stuff - and not drinking.
I learned from every single step on my journey - successes and mistakes, friends and foe alike.
But I always kept walking forwards, not backwards
D
The turning point for me was acceptance - acceptance that I was an alcoholic - and the acceptance that I could not drink 'like everyone else'.
So I stopped drinking. I did everything I could to maintain that commitment. I still do, nearly 3 years on - every day.
I nearly died, so fear played a large part in that - I also spent a lot of time here@ SR reaching out, and a lot of time tossing and turning, kicking the walls and deliberately not going out when all I wanted was to run down the road and get a bottle.
It's not easy but I believe it is possible to do that and not give in to the inner voice. The folks here helped me immensely by giving me faith in myself when I had none.
But yeah, not drinking only got me so far. I see not drinking as only the first step in a long journey. I had to change the person I was too.
My alcoholism *became* all pervasive but I believe I *started* to drink for definite reasons - mostly to fill a void within myself.
To heal my 'void', the first step is to stop poisoning myself with drink. I then had to get into what the void was, and how best I could start healing it.
It was a paradox for me to discover that the way towards that was not by thinking more about it, but actually thinking less, and doing more.
I did a lot of service work here, and still do because it helps me to be of service and to give back after many years of taking. It also helps keep me grounded and in perspective.
I also rediscovered my spiritual side - my initial recovery was secular - just don't drink...but it's hard to ignore the wonder in this world when you really start to recover.
It's hard for me to drink when I'm connected to the world in a more than a material way, and when I'm humble and grateful for the blessings I get everyday.
You know I could go on, but that's enough really LOL.
I'm not looking to start a school - I hope my experience helps others but I'm just a guy who found what he needed because he really wanted to quit and he looked hard enough for the way that worked for him.
I encourage everyone to do that. Start the process right away tho - don't wait for 'your way' to fall into your lap - you'll only find 'your way' by going out looking for it, trying a bunch of stuff - and not drinking.
I learned from every single step on my journey - successes and mistakes, friends and foe alike.
But I always kept walking forwards, not backwards
D
I wanted to be better, I wanted to reach my potential, and I knew that drinking, even one drink, meant I'd always be floundering about and getting further away from my goal.
You've got a lot to deal with J...as did I...but it's still far from impossible.
You have to stop seeing getting drunk as a viable option - because it's not.
You seem to me to have a lot of courage, a great sense of duty to those you love and, when you're not drinking, you have a lot of integrity.
Think about those things - use them next time you feel overwhelmed and get the urge to run away for a while.
Running away is a luxury neither of us have any more, man.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 5,937
There's an old saying, Jeremy- you can't cross a broad chasm in three short jumps. Half measures won't work. You have to take a leap of faith and just jump. 100% commitment, no excuses. Ingrain the idea in your mind that alcohol is like cyanide. You can't have it at all, not in any amount. It's off the table as an option.
I drank for 25 years. Harder and harder as time went on. In the beginning it was fun but eventually it became pure misery all the time with just little brief flashes of pleasure. It just wore me out to the point where I knew my life couldn't continue with booze in it.
Speaking just for myself I committed to sobriety like you'd "commit" to skydiving. Just step out the door and let gravity do the rest!
Alcohol is ruining your life, taking everything you love with it. You know this, TDG, you've said it many times. Don't let it take your life as well. I don't want you to be one of the ones that dies, or drifts away or just becomes a living ghost. You need to take a leap of faith that there is hope, even if you can't believe it in your heart yet.
Because the fact is there is hope. I quit drinking and I'm not special at all. I was complete drunk and a f**-up for decades, but once I quit things started getting better.
I drank for 25 years. Harder and harder as time went on. In the beginning it was fun but eventually it became pure misery all the time with just little brief flashes of pleasure. It just wore me out to the point where I knew my life couldn't continue with booze in it.
Speaking just for myself I committed to sobriety like you'd "commit" to skydiving. Just step out the door and let gravity do the rest!
Alcohol is ruining your life, taking everything you love with it. You know this, TDG, you've said it many times. Don't let it take your life as well. I don't want you to be one of the ones that dies, or drifts away or just becomes a living ghost. You need to take a leap of faith that there is hope, even if you can't believe it in your heart yet.
Because the fact is there is hope. I quit drinking and I'm not special at all. I was complete drunk and a f**-up for decades, but once I quit things started getting better.
Life is an unlikely miracle.
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: England
Posts: 1,859
Jeremy, we' ve all seen you really struggle with this, and you are crying out for help, you're getting there, you're still here, asking, trying,
It all comes down to a simple fact - YOU CANNOT DRINK. If you can accept that and concentrate on that one fact, there is your solid starting point.
As Dee said, the time to run away has passed, and ultimately, you can't run away from yourself, my friend.
It all comes down to a simple fact - YOU CANNOT DRINK. If you can accept that and concentrate on that one fact, there is your solid starting point.
As Dee said, the time to run away has passed, and ultimately, you can't run away from yourself, my friend.
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
J i woke up and took a stand one morning i went from 1 day to 10 and from 10 to 100 im currently on day 489
i wanted to be sober forever ive learned i just dont know the future but i can safeguard myself every single day by taking a stand
today i dont have to take a stand its natural now
it might be like this for you if you let it
i think your a truly wonderful person with a heck of a lot to give
make a stand it doesnt have to be like this
i wanted to be sober forever ive learned i just dont know the future but i can safeguard myself every single day by taking a stand
today i dont have to take a stand its natural now
it might be like this for you if you let it
i think your a truly wonderful person with a heck of a lot to give
make a stand it doesnt have to be like this
EndGame
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
How about taking action to get sober, Jeremy?
My observation is that, after all this time, after all your losses, after a continuous stream of heartbreak, and after telling us that your drinking may cost you your life, you're making yourself treatment-resistant for both alcoholism and your other issues. This despite your having "the mental hospital, AA, a good sober friend, and lots of refferals from CPS for inpatient, outpaitent, and everything in between." Don't confuse activity with achievement.
I am not trying to be clever, and this is not a joke. After starting dozens of threads and getting hundreds of recommendations for help and treatment, you stand still, as though you're hoping things will sort themselves out without your active participation. Yet things have only gotten worse. Much worse. Being a "good guy" is not enough to get sober. You're in no-man's land, and your course of action seems to be to bemoan your fate, to resist change and to remain idle.
I'm wondering what you would offer to someone else who found themselves in a similar situation.
My observation is that, after all this time, after all your losses, after a continuous stream of heartbreak, and after telling us that your drinking may cost you your life, you're making yourself treatment-resistant for both alcoholism and your other issues. This despite your having "the mental hospital, AA, a good sober friend, and lots of refferals from CPS for inpatient, outpaitent, and everything in between." Don't confuse activity with achievement.
I am not trying to be clever, and this is not a joke. After starting dozens of threads and getting hundreds of recommendations for help and treatment, you stand still, as though you're hoping things will sort themselves out without your active participation. Yet things have only gotten worse. Much worse. Being a "good guy" is not enough to get sober. You're in no-man's land, and your course of action seems to be to bemoan your fate, to resist change and to remain idle.
I'm wondering what you would offer to someone else who found themselves in a similar situation.
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