When to Reconnect with that Special Someone
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Reston va
Posts: 1
When to Reconnect with that Special Someone
Hi there
Very grateful for this site and this will be my first posting.
I am currently two months sober after twenty years of drinking. I have found the AA program combined with my online sober community to be quite helpful to me.
I was dating someone for 18 months whom was quite loving and tolerated my drinking behavior after repeated efforts for me to moderate. Being a real alcoholic that of course was an impossibility. He finally had to separate from me two months ago asking me to seek help and hence cut off all communication with me.
At one month, I sent him a card notifying him I received my 30 day chip and I thought of him often and hoped everything was going well in his world. He responded by email congratulating me and said I had alot to offer and was beautiful when I was sober. No other terms of endearment. I in turn acknowledged his email and told him no need to respond but I would like to contact him again when I get my 3 month chip.
Question for you…What do I say when I contact him next month?
My motives are simply to reestablish contact slowly, to convey that I am serious about my recovery and doing this for myself. I essentially want him to be part of my life again while I continue my work in the program.
Any suggestions would be most appreciated.
Very grateful for this site and this will be my first posting.
I am currently two months sober after twenty years of drinking. I have found the AA program combined with my online sober community to be quite helpful to me.
I was dating someone for 18 months whom was quite loving and tolerated my drinking behavior after repeated efforts for me to moderate. Being a real alcoholic that of course was an impossibility. He finally had to separate from me two months ago asking me to seek help and hence cut off all communication with me.
At one month, I sent him a card notifying him I received my 30 day chip and I thought of him often and hoped everything was going well in his world. He responded by email congratulating me and said I had alot to offer and was beautiful when I was sober. No other terms of endearment. I in turn acknowledged his email and told him no need to respond but I would like to contact him again when I get my 3 month chip.
Question for you…What do I say when I contact him next month?
My motives are simply to reestablish contact slowly, to convey that I am serious about my recovery and doing this for myself. I essentially want him to be part of my life again while I continue my work in the program.
Any suggestions would be most appreciated.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,504
This is probably a time when you should focus all your energy on your recovery. I think it's fine that you contacted your ex boyfriend, but it's probably too soon to expect much of a response. I know, as alcoholics, we think that when we decide to get help, everything should be fixed. But, it doesn't work that way for the people in our lives that we've hurt.
Congratulations on your one month sober!
Congratulations on your one month sober!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Hi Tracy 
I agree with Anna. As hard as it is, this needs to be a time for you - try and focus on your recovery.
Give yourself over to this self improvement now and I guarantee you'll be happier in yourself and far more capable of being the person you want to be.
Who knows what the future holds? I'm a firm believe in if it's meant to be it will be.
D
I agree with Anna. As hard as it is, this needs to be a time for you - try and focus on your recovery.
Give yourself over to this self improvement now and I guarantee you'll be happier in yourself and far more capable of being the person you want to be.
Who knows what the future holds? I'm a firm believe in if it's meant to be it will be.
D
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