getright15

I've been getting my life in order (new job a good one at that). I face my DUI court date later this month that took place back in July, which I'm not looking forward to! So I was on a drinking spree which started 2 weeks ago...didnt do anything crazy just drinking and keeping to myself. I wasn't getting hammered all day or anything like that...just drinking and minding my business. My issue is that sometimes I don't know if I want the life that I do have. I'm 34, married, 2 kids (1 biological) the other is from my wife's previous relationship. Kids have been driving me freaking crazy especially her's who is 11 years old. My daughter is 5 years old and a fire cracker. My wife is beautiful and at times drives me crazy as well ( I swear I can't tell you the last time I was right about anything) If I said there's a hurricane outside she would disagree. Ha..I'm serious. I never knew for sure if I wanted a family or kids for that matter in general. I gave it a try almost 8 years we've been together...we got into a huge fight earlier today about get this over an XBOX controller. I was at a business and my phone ringing asking about why it wouldn't work because my daughter wanted to play. Long story short I finally got home and I just asked why were you talking to me like that. Cussing etc about it...her response " you should've made sure it worked before you left"....what! Now it's my fault!

So of course it escalated and I left! I'm now sipping on vodka and I haven't said a word to her for the last almost 3 hours. I didn't have a drink the last 2 days...really because I didn't want one or felt like drinking. I don't want to go on a bender as I have some important stuff to take care of. Life has been very frustrating the last 4-5 months although we've overcome a lot of stuff. I've been feeling like maybe life is better on my own as I'm always angry, frustrated or flat out upset about everything even sober!

I just don't know anymore. I just thought I'd vent since I haven't posted in a while.

Anna

It sounds like you have a lot on your plate - a new job, a DUI court date, and dealing with a demanding family. Clearly drinking is not going to make any of that better. Have you tried to stop drinking since you got your DUI in July? Do you use AA or any other program as a support for your recovery?

I also wonder if you and your wife have considered couples counselling to help you with communicating with one another? It might be something to think about.

Soberwolf

I suggest you dump the vodka and try again friend

You cant things like this be a reason to drink i dont know your personal situation but drinking is definatly not the way forward

OklaBH

I'm so sorry. When ur spouse is on ur ass that's the worst. Be careful. Drinking will make the fighting ten times worse. I would dump out the vodka and go lay down. Keep posting we all need to vent

Nonsensical

Sorry to hear about all the things you're going through at the moment.

Gotta say I don't like the math, though. Drinking makes none of those problems better and has the potential to make all of them worse. That's a sucker bet, even in Las Vegas.

Be well!

Dee74

I agree. Drinking's like a lit match to a gas-soaked bonfire.

Dump the vodka - what ever the answer is that's not it getright
D

getright15

Oh I know the vodka doesn't help. I've gotten into trouble with the law and many other issues over drinking throughout my life. It's weird to me...as soon as I start working either she quits her job or something happens where shes let go and I'm the sole provider. Yea we've talked about couples counseling a few times and haven't followed through. I love her for sure it's just like damn!!!! She has a very terrible delivery when it comes to venting an issue, so I end up interrupting what she's trying to say wrong. For example if someone said to you "you're a very hard person to love" how would you take that?????? I'm sure pretty hurt by it. Instead it was "I didn't mean it like that" Ummm how else am I supposed to take it?

Nah I haven't been to AA. I stopped drinking for about a month after it happened. My lawyer is taking care of it although I'm still worried about it of course. I started this job back in October and she told me about her walking out of her job when I was at training last week. I fully supported her as it's a terrible work environment.....really though could the timing be a bit more off.

Anyhow...I'm just keeping to myself tonight and talking to you guys. I love and appreciate the feedback so go ahead and keep it coming.

G

Nonsensical

If your wife was a member here and could respond to this thread, what would she post?

getright15

Yea she would. She has her own outlook on things for sure. We disagree all the time. We both were raised on completely opposite sides of life. Meaning...I was from the rough neighborhoods of LA and she was raised in the rich parts of Mercer Island in Seattle. So we just have different outlooks on life. ETC

least

I hope you find peace and sobriety soon.

getright15

I know I will. Just hating a large part of life right now. Like I said I already know it doesn't help in the long run it's just for now I guess I just feel like it. I'm just hanging out...ordered some food instead of driving and watching basketball in my living room.

getright15

This thing called life that we all live in. Some times I'm like f-it other times I really care. Yea, I've had a rough go...although I never use it as an excuse. I've accepted the fact I have problems. I take meds for bi-polar and anxiety. None of that mixes with booze. I laugh a lot about the BS life has to offer. I'm actually pretty sick of it. It is what it is though....life goes on. I'm at the point of eh whatever about it. Just sayin

Nonsensical

You told us that you've been drinking tonight, so it's hard to know what to make of your comments. I hope you get some sleep and come back to us when you're sober.

getright15

All good.