Hit the wall
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 819
Hit the wall
Yesterday, I hit a big wall of stress. One of those days where everything goes wrong. Cleaning my carpets and my carpet cleaner broke so had to drag around the huge wet vac to suck up the rest of the water, problems hanging pictures back up after painting etc...little irritating things all day long. Went to move the desk in my office and the cheap thing fell apart-broke-everything in the drawers all over tthe floor. Add to that my son with autism having difficulties. He is now an adult but occassionally has problems with frustration and will full on tantrum.
And then the big problem. My daughter is 17 and will turn 18 right before the summer. She has a friend who was an exchange student in Germany last year and is planning a trip to go back there in the summer. She wants my daughter and another friend to go with her. Me and the mother of the other girl don't think this is a good idea. They will be staying with someone we don't know, they don't speak english and we don't speak german. The flight they want to take has an 8 hour layover in a foreign airport. 3 teenage girls alone traveling like this is not a good idea. And the girl who initiated this trip isn't making the return trip. She is planning on going to college in Germany. And there is a possibility that my daughter
would have to fly home alone with another lay over. Now add in the fact that we can't afford
this trip. My daughter might have enough saved for the airfare but nothing else and we don't have the money to give her in case of an emergency. But she will be 18 and has been arguing with us for 4 months about it. She is relentless!
Last night, this same argument again, almost pushed me over the edge. I actually said I need a drink. Then I decided to just disassmble what was left of my broken desk (I hate particle board) and wait out the anxiety that would normally make me drink. Today, I now have 90 days sober.
And then the big problem. My daughter is 17 and will turn 18 right before the summer. She has a friend who was an exchange student in Germany last year and is planning a trip to go back there in the summer. She wants my daughter and another friend to go with her. Me and the mother of the other girl don't think this is a good idea. They will be staying with someone we don't know, they don't speak english and we don't speak german. The flight they want to take has an 8 hour layover in a foreign airport. 3 teenage girls alone traveling like this is not a good idea. And the girl who initiated this trip isn't making the return trip. She is planning on going to college in Germany. And there is a possibility that my daughter
would have to fly home alone with another lay over. Now add in the fact that we can't afford
this trip. My daughter might have enough saved for the airfare but nothing else and we don't have the money to give her in case of an emergency. But she will be 18 and has been arguing with us for 4 months about it. She is relentless!
Last night, this same argument again, almost pushed me over the edge. I actually said I need a drink. Then I decided to just disassmble what was left of my broken desk (I hate particle board) and wait out the anxiety that would normally make me drink. Today, I now have 90 days sober.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 819
Thanks folks! Today is going to be another stressful day. I just spent 280.00 dollars for my daughters college applications and now have to pay 190.00 for her 2 AP tests by next month. My daughter is bringing her friend over tonight to try and talk me into approving of this trip also. I will take all the support i can get right now!
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,759
If I were in your shoes I would say "no". Too many dangers. Tell her when she's done with college she can go if she still wants to. And using her own money, too.
Congrats on staying sober in a difficult situation.
Congrats on staying sober in a difficult situation.
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Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 374
90 days is amazing. Way to go! I know how relentless teens can be. I get that she wants to spread her wings. How about if you say something like, " I am not in the position to talk about this right now, we can revisit it in a few months." Let's face it, teens have a way of changing their minds, and often! If she is that serious, she can really start to ern ome money to go towards her trip. As an aside, air travel is pretty safe, but it sounds like she hasn't done much before ? Layovers aren't a big deal, they can just be really boring.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 819
Thanks everyone! I had a talk with my daughter and the friend who inittiated this little plan. I laid it all out and the fact is, my daughter doesn't have the money for the trip anyways.
And I am with you Least. I told her no from the git go but she will be 18 when the trip happens. Also told her that when she is through with college would be a better time.
The problem with my daughter is that she doesn't quit. She has been arguing with me about this for 4 months already. Really, this summer, she should focus on earning some money towards college and getting ready for college.
And I am with you Least. I told her no from the git go but she will be 18 when the trip happens. Also told her that when she is through with college would be a better time.
The problem with my daughter is that she doesn't quit. She has been arguing with me about this for 4 months already. Really, this summer, she should focus on earning some money towards college and getting ready for college.
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