A Newcomer once again...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Corinth, TX
Posts: 490
A Newcomer once again...
Its been such a long time since I've been here. I'm pretty embarrassed to come back with my tail between my legs, but I can't do this drinking thing anymore. I need help. I'm drinking at least a bottle of wine a night (on a good night), and blacking out regularly. I crave alcohol every day at 3. I have tried everything to cut down and nothing works. Once I start I can't stop. The problem is I've tried this sobriety thing off and on for years too and I ALWAYS fail. So I'm scared. And how pathetic that I fail at drinking right AND I fail at stopping drinking. Where does that leave me? I so don't want to go back to AA but I don't think I can do this alone. So I guess I'll go to a noon meeting and see if I can make it through today sober. And hang out here some because I remember it helped before. Feeling helpless and hopeless. 
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: East Coast U.S.
Posts: 153
Originally Posted by Eliasson 
Its been such a long time since I've been here. I'm pretty embarrassed to come back with my tail between my legs, but I can't do this drinking thing anymore. I need help. I'm drinking at least a bottle of wine a night (on a good night), and blacking out regularly. I crave alcohol every day at 3. I have tried everything to cut down and nothing works. Once I start I can't stop. The problem is I've tried this sobriety thing off and on for years too and I ALWAYS fail. So I'm scared. And how pathetic that I fail at drinking right AND I fail at stopping drinking. Where does that leave me? I so don't want to go back to AA but I don't think I can do this alone. So I guess I'll go to a noon meeting and see if I can make it through today sober. And hang out here some because I remember it helped before. Feeling helpless and hopeless.
Re-Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 7,909
Congratulations for coming back! I've also just started back in here after a year of hiding away with a bottle so I can understand that embarrassment. Let us know how the meeting goes and I hope you join us in the class of November 2014 thread!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Gulf Coast, USA
Posts: 2,229
Stay strong Eliasson and welcome back to SR. Your story sounds a lot like mine and plenty of other's here. Every time I relapsed I would fall deeper and deeper into the addiction. Last holiday season, I was drinking in the mornings, at work, at home, you name it I was drinking.
The only option for me was to quit for good, all-in, no drinking again, ever. Easier said than done, I know, but definitely attainable with some hard work.
You can make the decision to quit, stick to it and with time everything will become so much more clear. With time, your AV will quiet down, your anxiety will decrease, life in general will just seem to become so much more rich and enjoyable...
You can do it. Make today day 1, tomorrow day 2, etc. I keep a calendar of all days I haven't had a drink. It motivates me to be able to mark another day off each morning.
Best wishes, you can do this!
The only option for me was to quit for good, all-in, no drinking again, ever. Easier said than done, I know, but definitely attainable with some hard work.
You can make the decision to quit, stick to it and with time everything will become so much more clear. With time, your AV will quiet down, your anxiety will decrease, life in general will just seem to become so much more rich and enjoyable...
You can do it. Make today day 1, tomorrow day 2, etc. I keep a calendar of all days I haven't had a drink. It motivates me to be able to mark another day off each morning.
Best wishes, you can do this!
I will NOT drink to that!
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Baltimore MD USA
Posts: 634
Welcome back!! The good news is that you don't want to drink anymore & I belive in you. Keep coming back if you have to, we are here to support you. You can do this, you are much stronger than you think. (((hugs)))
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Charlotte, NC
Posts: 198
Stay strong and do NOT be embarrassed for coming back. I've been a member of this site for over 2 years and come and gone many times. The point is, you are back and acknowledging you have a problem and want to get better. For me, it took checking into an inpatient rehab and being gone from my family, friends and co-workers for 6 weeks. It was the hardest thing I've ever done, but I'm so glad I did it and everyone in my life is proud of me for making that giant leap. I was scared to death of going to AA meetings - I felt out of place in the past and was so depressed when I sat in those rooms. Now I look forward to going and do so with a smile on my face. I hope you find what works for you and continue on the road to a healthy and sober life 
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 19
Thank you for your honest post. I too am coming back to SR. I am currently in the fourth week of my third try at recovery. I relate to the 3 PM cravings. This probably sounds stupid, but I found that a little sweet (cookie, candy, piece of pie, etc) in the afternoon has helped my cravings. I found my body was craving the sugar that I was previously getting through alcohol. I am also hitting the gym in the afternoon. The sugar boast and exercise has helped temper the cravings somewhat.
Practice Sobriety
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: KC missouri
Posts: 885
I remember relapsing many times. In my heart I didn't want to drink again. I didn't want to shame my family or cost my family hard earned money anymore. It starts with one day one more moment at a time. Just stay sober. The days start piling up. I started wearing clean clothes not ones soaked in urine. I started going to church more, Jesus helped me to get sober and he wanted me to have a purpose. I had to humble myself and started to live with other people with addiction. I had to lower my expectations for myself. Success had to be redefined as just getting through the day without drinking. Many people were disappointed with me just sitting here, but I had to just make it a habbit of sitting here.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: london uk
Posts: 261
. I crave alcohol every day at 3. I have tried everything to cut down and nothing works. Once I start I can't stop. The problem is I've tried this sobriety thing off and on for years too and I ALWAYS fail. So I'm scared. And how pathetic that I fail at drinking right AND I fail at stopping drinking.
Thank you for expressing exactly how I feel, swap wine for vodka and I'm down to a tee, you're not alone and more courageous for expressing your voice. You might read my post from only yesterday , but here I am already my tongue hanging out like a dog as I fight the late afternoon cravings. My strategy is to reward myself with other things.
Thank you for expressing exactly how I feel, swap wine for vodka and I'm down to a tee, you're not alone and more courageous for expressing your voice. You might read my post from only yesterday , but here I am already my tongue hanging out like a dog as I fight the late afternoon cravings. My strategy is to reward myself with other things.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Georgia
Posts: 3,062
I think it's fantastic that you are back I know from my own experience as well as my clinical knowledge that blacking out is a sign that some real damage is happening to the hippocampus area of the brain which is responsible in part to memory and emotions. For me I keep this in mind on my list of reasons why I cannot drink.
I had to reconfigure my late afternoon/early evening routines as they always had centered around drinking wine. I did a lot of pouting and isolating in my house but it was really the safest place for me to be. I also threw out all of my wine glasses and bottle openers; I strongly suggest getting rid of anything like that.
I know from my own experience as well as my clinical knowledge that blacking out is a sign that some real damage is happening to the hippocampus area of the brain which is responsible in part to memory and emotions. For me I keep this in mind on my list of reasons why I cannot drink. I had to reconfigure my late afternoon/early evening routines as they always had centered around drinking wine. I did a lot of pouting and isolating in my house but it was really the safest place for me to be. I also threw out all of my wine glasses and bottle openers; I strongly suggest getting rid of anything like that.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Georgia
Posts: 3,062
I think it's fantastic that you are back I know from my own experience as well as my clinical knowledge that blacking out is a sign that some real damage is happening to the hippocampus area of the brain which is responsible in part to memory and emotions. For me I keep this in mind on my list of reasons why I cannot drink.
I had to reconfigure my late afternoon/early evening routines as they always had centered around drinking wine. I did a lot of pouting and isolating in my house but it was really the safest place for me to be. I also threw out all of my wine glasses and bottle openers; I strongly suggest getting rid of anything like that.
I know from my own experience as well as my clinical knowledge that blacking out is a sign that some real damage is happening to the hippocampus area of the brain which is responsible in part to memory and emotions. For me I keep this in mind on my list of reasons why I cannot drink. I had to reconfigure my late afternoon/early evening routines as they always had centered around drinking wine. I did a lot of pouting and isolating in my house but it was really the safest place for me to be. I also threw out all of my wine glasses and bottle openers; I strongly suggest getting rid of anything like that.
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