No Magic Pill
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 10
No Magic Pill
I'm new to the forum but have lurked and been amazed at the support this forum offers. To share a brief history, I've been a binge drinker for about 10 years. As I got older, I began blacking out more, becoming an embarrassment daily, losing all friends, going through weekly withdrawals, etc., etc. Around 5 years ago (age 23), I had had enough and got sober.
People started to trust me again, friends came back, my work performance went through the roof, and I was offered a great job with lots of money and prestige. Everything was great, except for the voice telling me "your life is perfect EXCEPT you can't drink..wouldn't it be nice to be a normal, social drinker?"
After 3 years sober, I had done research about using a pill as a way to socially drink. I forget the name of the method, but I bought in and tried it thinking it was "the cure". 2 months after starting to drink again with this "cure method", I was back to my insane behavior, verbally abusive to friends and family, posting nonsense on social media like a psycho, and literally stopped going to work. I lost the dream job, my self respect, and everything I had worked for.
Luckily, I went to a detox in late February and stopped the cycle. I've been sober 8 months, slowly gaining my rep back, and things are looking up. The biggest lesson I learned was that there is no magic pill, no cure, just acceptance and hard work. if I ever drink again, the withdrawal will be so severe that I may not make it out alive. I'll never be a social drinker, and for the first time in my life, I'm okay with that. I'm the guy that has always said "Oh I'd never lose my job because of drinking.." Welp, I did. If I drink again I'll be homeless, kill someone drunk driving, die from being drunk, or end up in prison. If the worst thing that ever happened was losing my job, I'll take it. Horrific things will happen if I go back, and the truth of the matter is, everyone is 1 big mistake away from ruining their lives forever. No more risks for me - I'll stick with my soda.
People started to trust me again, friends came back, my work performance went through the roof, and I was offered a great job with lots of money and prestige. Everything was great, except for the voice telling me "your life is perfect EXCEPT you can't drink..wouldn't it be nice to be a normal, social drinker?"
After 3 years sober, I had done research about using a pill as a way to socially drink. I forget the name of the method, but I bought in and tried it thinking it was "the cure". 2 months after starting to drink again with this "cure method", I was back to my insane behavior, verbally abusive to friends and family, posting nonsense on social media like a psycho, and literally stopped going to work. I lost the dream job, my self respect, and everything I had worked for.
Luckily, I went to a detox in late February and stopped the cycle. I've been sober 8 months, slowly gaining my rep back, and things are looking up. The biggest lesson I learned was that there is no magic pill, no cure, just acceptance and hard work. if I ever drink again, the withdrawal will be so severe that I may not make it out alive. I'll never be a social drinker, and for the first time in my life, I'm okay with that. I'm the guy that has always said "Oh I'd never lose my job because of drinking.." Welp, I did. If I drink again I'll be homeless, kill someone drunk driving, die from being drunk, or end up in prison. If the worst thing that ever happened was losing my job, I'll take it. Horrific things will happen if I go back, and the truth of the matter is, everyone is 1 big mistake away from ruining their lives forever. No more risks for me - I'll stick with my soda.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,373
I think accepting that I had a maladaptive self destructive relationship with alcohol - and always would - was a life changing moment for me W4.
Sounds like you've crossed that Rubicon too
D
Sounds like you've crossed that Rubicon too
D
Sober since 10th April 2012
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 6,047
W4W, it's a big breakthough when you try the experiment with drinking again, crash and burn, then finally realise you can't drink normally. It took me years to get to that point, and I'm not going back.
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