PippiLngstockng

So...maybe he is an alcoholic. And maybe I am in need of psychiatric care. Because the way xah's lawyer framed it, I am making it all up and stressing out the children. So the judge has decided to send the whole family to a series of evaluations by a psychiatrist of her choosing.

This is a new judge. I think she hates me.

lillamy

Oh you have got to be f-ing kidding me?

timeagain

If i could say how many times I've seen this I'd write a book on this. In court most women are painted as liars and schemers. It's easy to do. Sad but true.

PippiLngstockng

I came home really upset. I was crying a lot. And the children found me crying and now they are all fighting and yelling.

I work really hard to stay calm and happy.

But this is too much. Next, They will take my children away because my children found me crying because the judge thinks I am crazy because xah lied and convinced everyone he isn't what he said he is.

Oh, and check this out: the judge asked him if he has a drinking problem. As if his response might be honest!

MissFixit

Pippi,

No need to freak out the kids right now.

Take a hot bath or a cold shower and lie down. Take a nap. Order a pizza. Eat some carbs. Watch netflix. Chill out right now.

Butterfly

This could be positive, your exAH is obviously putting on a good front to the judge that he is sober but a good psychiatrist will see right through him and see the impact his addiction and on going behaviour is having on you and the children.

this could draw a line under everything.

Tight hugs

Florence

I *requested* a third party so a neutral party could verify that what I was saying was true.

From this corner, this looks like a great request.

Get the counseling. It only works in your favor.

firebolt

Unbelievable. Take care of yourself. Trust God - karma - the universe - whatever you believe in. For him, the cracks will start to show. (((HUGS)))

hopeful4

Pippi, I don't see this as a loss. See it as an opportunity to have a neutral party listen to you and your children. Your children, if I remember correctly, did not feel they had ample opportunity to lay out their feelings and fears to the judge. Let them know this will be an opportunity for that.

Tight, tight hugs.

LexieCat

I dunno, this is a new judge. She has no "feel" for the case yet. I'm not sure I would want to come in cold and decide something as important as custody and visitation with serious allegations without getting an objective assessment.

She doesn't know you and she doesn't know him (yet). I'm not sure why you think she is "believing" what the x is saying. Sounds to me like you're getting ahead of yourself and claiming defeat before much has happened, here.

We'd all like for the system to move faster than it does, but these things take time. You guys are safe, so take some deep breaths and see what you can do to pull yourself together. Falling apart won't help anyone.

Hugs,

Rosiepetal

Gosh this makes me mad.
Stick to the facts, document everything, if you don't have diary, start one.
Who cares what some hotshot lawyer thinks, they are wrong.
Prove it to them in the best way you can.
I have been able to prove so much by documenting since 2007, I am so glad I did cause it is now in 2014 it has come in handy.
Gosh it just goes on & on doesn't it, no wonder you're struggling.
Big big hugs, one day at a time & try to take care of yourself.

redatlanta

Lady Justice moves slow Pippi - but when she gets rolling she can be merciless. Don't lose faith - I agree with Lexie - its a new Judge. If he/she is considering limiting custody the Judge must have full knowledge.

Don't lose faith - I know it sucks to have to go through this and deal with a new Judge but I believe this could be to your advantage.

desypete

was you the poster who had to go and drag the kids away from a camping trip the kids were having with there dad ? over some photos or something like that ?

if i remember rightly i did comment on the fact that it could look like your trying to paint your ex into a bad light type of thing and that it can all back fire in court on you

forgive me if it isnt you who had that problem but if it was well you have to be careful of everything you do more so if your fighting over the kids rights

i remember reading that post and i did think you over reacted and ruined the kids trip out with there dad that time
the dad will use this sort of thing to try to show the court you are behaving badly and will not let him see the kids coming up with anything

weather its true or not doesnt matter what matters here is that you will be seen like somoene who isnt getting her own way over the kids

the court is there for the kids to get a fair deal and not for the parents to win or lose a fight or for one partner to try to hit the other one by using the kids

i know something i wouldn't be a court room judge who had to decide over custody of kids between 2 waring parents that much i do know : )

so try and look at everything you do even crying infront of the kids you have to not do that as it can be used against you

i know its a hard thing to do but sadly the kids do not belong to you there are people in there own right and if they want to see dad then they have a right to
only unless there is a real risk of course and by the looks of things the court is happy enough to look a bit deeper into the claims of how much of a risk he is

you can not expect a court to just take your word for everything as partners are well known to lie in court trying to win there case on both sides

personalty i wish all parents would just sort these matters out between themselves come to see its not about them but more about the kids
those kids will love the pair of you and the pair of you should be there for the kids to help them grow just because you and him dont get on anymore is no reason the kids should have to suffer or choose between who they love the most

ShootingStar1

Stay strong, Pippi. This takes it out of the realm of he said/she said in the Judge's eyes. More will be revealed, and most likely, it will be the psychiatrist revealing your AH.

ShootingStar1

redatlanta

Perhaps it would behoove you to read through someones threads before making a generalized observation that Pippi's goal is to punish an unwitting spouse by trying to disrupt his custody.

The post you refer to was a father that allowed use of his phone when there were photos of penis on them. While you may not consider that egregious most people do. In fact most people not only find it egregious, but astoundingly stupid and vile.

Additionally this A has done many, many other things too many to even list. To state or imply there is a lack of trying to sort this out between them both is laughable. He is an active Alcoholic who is irresponsible at times with his children so much so that the children are often nervous to go see him.

Give me a break, really?

hopeful4

How are you doing today Pippi? Thinking about you my friend!!!

Desy....this man is an alcoholic and has put the kids in danger physically and emotionally, and has done the same to Pippi.

I hope today is a better day.

Eauchiche

The possibility exists that your AH's attorney and the judge are drinking buddies... Just sayin'

Bullfrog

Just remember, a judge wanting to figure out the truth and put kids first is a GOOD thing.

SparkleKitty

Hey Pippi - after all you have been through it is not surprising that you have catastrophic feelings about every new development but it is super-important to stay the course and stay in the PRESENT MOMENT as best you can -- both for you and for your kids.

I feel confident that the new judge does not hate you. She does not know you. She does not know XAH. You are projecting based on old and familiar patterns and it's understandable. Your XAH's lawyer's job is to present his client in the best light. Your lawyer's job is to present YOU in the best light. The judge's job is to cut through all the crap and figure out what is really going so she can make the best decision for your kids. It is not reasonable to expect that someone new walking into this situation is just going to believe you and not him at all.

The evaluations are a GOOD THING. Giving everyone else the impression that you think they are all pathologically insane liars isn't going to help you prevail here so try to comply as positively as possible with the due process.

desypete

not sure i understand what your driving at hope ?