Mother of 35 year old substance abuse son
Paused
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Temecula California
Posts: 1
Mother of 35 year old substance abuse son
Hi, I am a mother of a 35 year old son, whe has been on drugs since high school. He uses meth mostly and weed. He is living at home, no job, we are supporting him. I take 3 different kinds of anti-depressants just to deal with this. Problem is..he father won't kick him out. We just bought him a 5th wheel trailer to live in on our property. He says he is going to Phoeniz in September to a motorcycle repair school. He is applying for grants. I want to get him some help in the next two months here. He will never make it through school, using. My problem is he won't go. MY psychiatist says he has to do it himself. Has anyone out there been in this situation? :
Jujubee Queen
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Port Charlotte, Florida
Posts: 3,582
Hi Rancher,
Welcome to Sober Recovery.
I am the mother of 2 A sons, one is 30, the other 26.
The 30 Y.O. is currently using, the other is in court ordered re-hab.
Last year at this time, I attempted to help my youngest by getting him into re-hab. It didn't work, he left after 2 weeks.
Unfortunately, there is nothing YOU can do to help your son. He is the only one who can do it.
Please come over to the na-anon board, there's alot of people who have some good info for you, along with great support.
I'm glad you found us......
Hugs coming your way......
Welcome to Sober Recovery.
I am the mother of 2 A sons, one is 30, the other 26.
The 30 Y.O. is currently using, the other is in court ordered re-hab.
Last year at this time, I attempted to help my youngest by getting him into re-hab. It didn't work, he left after 2 weeks.
Unfortunately, there is nothing YOU can do to help your son. He is the only one who can do it.
Please come over to the na-anon board, there's alot of people who have some good info for you, along with great support.
I'm glad you found us......
Hugs coming your way......
Supply Manager
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Cleaverville
Posts: 2,898
Welcome Rancher,
I am the mother of an alcoholic son currently in jail and I have to agree with Moose. There is nothing you can do...he has to do it himself. Accepting that one thing could go a long way toward repairing your own mental health.
Come downstairs to the Nar Anon forum and Friend's and Family. There are a lot of mom's in your shoes.
Make yourself at home,
JT
I am the mother of an alcoholic son currently in jail and I have to agree with Moose. There is nothing you can do...he has to do it himself. Accepting that one thing could go a long way toward repairing your own mental health.
Come downstairs to the Nar Anon forum and Friend's and Family. There are a lot of mom's in your shoes.
Make yourself at home,
JT
Starry Girl
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Starry Night
Posts: 251
Hi Ranchergirl,
I just wanted to welcome you to SR. My Addict is my husband...he is from El Cajon and his older brother and his sister in law live in Temecula...that caught my eye about you.
It's sad that we can't do anything to change or help our A's...but the good news is we CAN do something about ourselves. Please check out the NarAnon board, lots of support for you there.
My husband started out on weed...then meth...then heroin and coke. Kind of sucks to be that close to the MX border! He's in rehab right now going on four months. I'm glad for him, but what I've learned here has helped me change my life for the better.
Good luck, and welcome again!
I just wanted to welcome you to SR. My Addict is my husband...he is from El Cajon and his older brother and his sister in law live in Temecula...that caught my eye about you.
It's sad that we can't do anything to change or help our A's...but the good news is we CAN do something about ourselves. Please check out the NarAnon board, lots of support for you there.
My husband started out on weed...then meth...then heroin and coke. Kind of sucks to be that close to the MX border! He's in rehab right now going on four months. I'm glad for him, but what I've learned here has helped me change my life for the better.
Good luck, and welcome again!
Gold Member
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: It's raining again!
Posts: 2,494
Hi and welcome! My son is 18 and I found out that he has been dabbling in drinking and pot. His whole behavior changed as well as his grades and he dropped out of school. Hardest thing I ever had to do,but I got support from here and had to boot him out unless he got the help that was offered to him. He came back and got his licence,but is still partying. But he has reregistered in school again and is simi working. We want to help out our kids I know,but to be honest I get confused on how much or how little!!!
Stop this ride I wanna get off
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Michigan
Posts: 26
While I'm not in your situation at the moment, I think there is something you CAN do. That is stop enabling your son. By buying him a 5th wheel to live in, what reason does he have to clean up and move out? I don't mean for this to sound cold or anything, it's just something to think about. The Al-anon board can offer support and advice. I have an almost 18 yr. old son who already has some drinking tendancies. I hope I can practice what I've just preached if the situation does arise. Good luck 
!
!
chiquita
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Spider web
Posts: 44
Dearest rancher...I am in the same situation that you are.
Let's pray together for the strengh we need;
andlet's do the 12 steps....
I know, I read about , i attend meetings but I do not apply it to myself...
and it is a must.
love
Let's pray together for the strengh we need;
andlet's do the 12 steps....
I know, I read about , i attend meetings but I do not apply it to myself...
and it is a must.
love
Member
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Philadelphia
Posts: 19
Hey Rancher,
Welcome to the site. You will find much support here I am sure.
I know of your situation from the other side. I am the addict and put my family through hell. And I have to agree with everyone here. I was not going to get the real help I needed until "I" finally had enough. I went for all the reasons of family, friends, jobs, financial losses and so on. But until I actually went for MYSELF it didn't make much difference. I was going to use no matter what. Sad as that is ... that is the way it was.
Sometimes I wonder what people viewing these posts from thier own house, thousands of miles away must think. When they read what an addict types about his/her using and how they used no matter what. I see a person reading this almost pulling thier hair out wondering why we as addicts do the things we do. It must make no sense to the normal non-addict. I am sure of that. That is why I agree with Kim and you should check out the Al-Anon board and maybe thier website to get some info on that subject. You will get much needed support there as well. And gain an understanding of what your son is going through as well. That it is not about you, him, your husband, the dog, jobs, school or anything else ... it is all about the disease of addiction and what it does to all involved. And the Al-Anon board and website can help you learn to deal with life involving addiction.
Good Luck and again ... WELCOME!!!!!!
Albert R.
Welcome to the site. You will find much support here I am sure.
I know of your situation from the other side. I am the addict and put my family through hell. And I have to agree with everyone here. I was not going to get the real help I needed until "I" finally had enough. I went for all the reasons of family, friends, jobs, financial losses and so on. But until I actually went for MYSELF it didn't make much difference. I was going to use no matter what. Sad as that is ... that is the way it was.
Sometimes I wonder what people viewing these posts from thier own house, thousands of miles away must think. When they read what an addict types about his/her using and how they used no matter what. I see a person reading this almost pulling thier hair out wondering why we as addicts do the things we do. It must make no sense to the normal non-addict. I am sure of that. That is why I agree with Kim and you should check out the Al-Anon board and maybe thier website to get some info on that subject. You will get much needed support there as well. And gain an understanding of what your son is going through as well. That it is not about you, him, your husband, the dog, jobs, school or anything else ... it is all about the disease of addiction and what it does to all involved. And the Al-Anon board and website can help you learn to deal with life involving addiction.
Good Luck and again ... WELCOME!!!!!!
Albert R.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
