Charlie117926

I have had several days sober. Been feeling great. I woke up yesterday, doing chores at 6 am. Grocery shopping done by 8:00 am.

Scheduled to help a friend to move some furniture at 10:30. We get finished loading up and he offers to buy me lunch. So I have a few beers at lunch. Go back to his place to unload. Many more there.

Pick up some more on the way home. Start on a kids project (so proud of myself) all the while I am still tilting them back. It's about 9 pm. Go out and pick up a 22 oz. then sleep.

Wake up this morning, bloated, red eyes. Trying to shower off the stench. Loading up on soap, mouthwash, cologne. Getting ready for church. Oh yeah, on top of being a drunk, I am also a hypocrite.

Yesterday seemed like it was going to be the perfect day till I chose to have that first drink. Please don't drink today. It's not worth it.

least

I hope this can be the start of long term sobriety for you.

sprout50

For starters, you are not a hypocrite for going to church. Alcoholiics beliieve in God and God still loves alcoholiics.

It's a new day. Start again!

HeartsAfire

You've gotten a taste of true, precious sobriety, Charlie, and you know the taste is infinitely better than any beer. That's huge. You can & will beat this. You're back here today and that is progress & success.

As for being a hypocrite, that's your AV trying to make you feel like a useless piece of crap so you'll go running back to the bottle. You're a good man, Charlie. Please don't forget that.

Charlie117926

Thanks sprout. I appreciate that. It is a new day and I am not looking back. What's done is done.

Thepatman

Leave the past in the past.

However, other occasions will continue to rise as you walk the sober path.
Maybe try to find coping techniques? Change your surrounding friends a little if they are a trigger?

Good luck!

Wastinglife

That's how every relapse began for me. An innocent pint after work with a friend and I am off to the races. I'll go buy booze or to another bar alone after my friends have left for the evening. 4 days and $500 later I usually stop the binge after doing something stupid or spending all my money. Then it's 3 days of depression, anxiety, and insomnia.

That one pint starts it all.

FreeOwl

Days like that suck so badly. I've lived so many of them.

I hope you can find the tipping point of momentum into committed sobriety, whatever it takes.

Life is so much more meaningful and special beyond the haze.

Charlie117926

Thanks for the responses. It helps. I have been trying to stay sober around people who drink. I have tried to distance myself from my friends for this reason and not tell them my decision. Its clear this plan will not work. I mustered up the gumption and just placed calls to my life long buddies and told them I'm no longer drinking. This was a huge issue for me to conquer. They all seemed relatively supportive. Time will tell. I hate to sound selfish but this is not about them. Its about me. Drastic times call for drastic measures. Day one halfway down. Thanks again SR for the continued support.

Jwalker

Congratulations on your first 12 hours! Hang tight and good job on talking to those around you. Your journey will be easier if you are surrounded with support. Stay in the middle of the pack.

Jwalker

Wastinglife

I was in rehab 3 years ago. At the time, only my family knew. I have relapsed a few times since, always when meeting with an old friend or two that I haven't seen for a while. I have since let most my friends know about my alcoholism or at least hinted that I have a problem with booze and can't drink.

It is liberating in a way. No pressure to drink, but then again, a little lonely because I can't go to some things.

razor15

That's very brave of you. I admire that. I can only see that helping your efforts.

Venecia

Yep. Good for you for recognizing it. You can do this, Charlie.

Dee74

Welcome back Charlie

D

HeartsAfire

Bravo, Charlie. As Wastinglife said above, it's liberating in this odd way, isn't it? I've done it myself. It was a game-changer for me.

No turning back now. Full steam ahead!

Hevyn

Charlie, you sound fed up. I had to reach that point too. It was no longer fun in any way - every time I picked up it led to a painful place. Not worth it - you don't need it in your life. It'll feel great to be free of it. You can do it.

Meraviglioso

Hey Charlie, I know your struggle well, I'm right there with you. I think for some of us we are just so stubborn and it takes a while. The important thing- at least for me I have found- is to get right back up and go at it again. Each time I do I feel more and more accepting and it seems to get easier. Each time we need to change something and add something to help us. I know that we will eventually find what we are looking for.
Good for you for telling your friends. I told some important people this go around too, I think it is helping.
Keep at it buddy, you can do this.

Inchworm

I'm so happy to hear this go the other way, Charlie!

JT0626

It's OK to start over, Charlie. You did a brave thing by reaching out to your friends to let them know you are not drinking. Don't beat yourself up about your slip up, you recognized it - that's a good sign. Stay the course, you are worth it!

MatthewMills197

We've all been where you are - i got drunk yesterday too. but at least we are not drinking today