MavisTheFairy13

My friend has just split from her partner of 17 years. It was her decision but she is still in a state about it and they have to stay in same house for a few months. Anyway she's coming round this evening and is bringing wine. I told her I am on the wagon and won't be drinking so just bring something for herself. She said that she really needs a drink tonight and can't drink alone and needs a buddy and can't I start again on monday.

I told her no but I can put my soft drink in a wine glass if that will help

I'm not worried about her drinking in front of me, I have no desire to drink. I am a little concerned about her though - she is a big drinker anyway, she drinks every day as far as I know and more at weekends. I've told her drinking won't make her current situation any easier and she knows that but I don't think she's ready to stop and certainly doesn't want to stop yet.

I suppose all I can do is be here for her.

As far as my own plans I've joined smart recovery online and have my first online meeting on tuesday

Thank you all for your support

Dee74

I had a similar situation with a mate in my 2nd week.
I told him my house was now alcohol free.

He came over anyway and we sorted things out a lot.

Later he thanked me for it - he'd been planning a binge.

I guess it's too late now to declare your house dry...but do keep an eye on your friend - as you know, drinking solves nowt. That goes for normal drinking folks too.

D

JanieJ

That's a tough situation with your friend, so early on.

Hope Smart works for you, sounds good

luvmygirls

Smart Recovery sounds like a great idea! I'm going to look into it, too.
P.S. You need to delete some messages from your inbox so I can send you a PM!

Soberwolf

My house is 5000% Alcohol free

M do the same from now on it will help

Venecia

I'm afraid I may be taking a rather contrary view, Mavis.

You've had some setbacks. It's hard to envision a friend in your home, throwing back the wine in her sadness, not being a significant challenge. (I've been there with a good friend, before my sobriety. We got rip-roaring drunk the night after she learned her husband was leaving her for another woman.)

Why put yourself in a risky situation? Yes, your friend is important and she needs you. Your sobriety is also important. But how 'bout a coffee shop, instead?

AnvilheadII

interesting....you are willing to risk your own sobriety for your "friend" but your "friend" wants you to forgo sobriety so she has someone to drink with. you are just two days sober.....and sober days have been hard for you to collect.....why even put yourself in a position where booze is available in your home?

In the Big Book there's a reference to the boy whistling in the dark....

Nuudawn

Mavis...wine is no better for her pain...well, than yours.

Does you supporting her REALLY require you witnessing her getting hammered? And as Anvil alluded to...she had no issue asking you to drink with her
Yet you could not ask that she not whilst in your home?

I hope this comes out the right way...in thinking that allowing her to drink through her pain is "being supportive" you are thinking with your own addiction.

Your addiction is the one letting her drown her emotions in your house.

SoberLeigh

I, too, worry that this may not be the best of situations for you, Mavis.

I imagine that witnessing the rawness of your friend's pain is going to be very emotionally difficult. Add then wine and I worry about that "Oh hell, yeah, I'll start over tomorrow" moment.