dj328

Hi All,

So I need some advice.... I want to ask my best friend how he's doing in his journey of not drinking... but I have no idea how to start the conversation. In a way, this has become a bit of a taboo topic, and as long as he's not drinking around me the status quo isn't upset.

Its been a while since it was discussed (from a time when we would discuss it a lot when he was starting out with sobriety and very keen to tell me about his achievements). Now we're some 6 months down the track and it seems to be a non issue... But he's been acting odd lately... You know when you know someone so well that you can tell something is up? I want to ask how he's doing and let him know he can call me if he needs to chat... But I don't want him to feel that i'm keeping serious tabs on him.

Any thoughts?

Thanks,
DJ

gippy1968

He's your best friend...... Just ask him.

LadyinBC

Be blunt and come out and ask. No sense sugar coating anything. Just my opinion as an alcoholic. My family and friends spent a long time walking on eggshells around me, does nothing for no one. I say just get to the point.

CodeJob

Hi DJ, you sound like a good friend.

Ask by giving two examples of this recent concerning behavior and ask if there's anything you can do to help. Be ready for bizarre response... You might be seeing some early signs of potential relapse...

dandylion

dj328....most alcoholics do not like it when others keep tabs on this personal issue.
if he is as good of a friend as you say....he already KNOWS he can call you if he wants or needs to.

He will know that you are keeping tabs on him..no matter how you try to smooth it over.

We have to accept friends as they are. If you feel that you need to confront him....do so. But, be direct and honest about it. He may get angry with you---but, that is a risk we take in a true and strong friendship.

Is this relationship purely platonic? Sometimes, we secretely want to remain a very important part of another person's life--we NEED to be NEEDED.

These are the thoughts that sprang to mind as I read your post. Food for thought, so to speak....

dandylion

MIRecovery

I think it is fine to ask him but I would ask the question in such a way so that it is impossible to answer the question with a yes or no.

Something like, "What is the hardest thing about staying sober."

I know I enjoy talking about it if people genuinely care and are not passing judgment or checking up on me

m1k3

What would you say to a friend who didn't have a drinking problem but seemed a bit off?

How about something like "You seem a bit down lately, is there anything I can do to help?".

Your friend,

cynical one

^^^^^
This

And, how would you, or would you even...ask a friend how they were doing on their diet?