Hey all. This is hard
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 1,552
Hey all. This is hard
The craving for alcohol is very small.
The urge to drown out all these feelings is enormous! I was very disconnected with my sobriety today...a very dangerous place to be.
This is very hard.
Jennifer
The urge to drown out all these feelings is enormous! I was very disconnected with my sobriety today...a very dangerous place to be.
This is very hard.
Jennifer
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,378
It took a while for me to get used to feeling...it can be overwheleming.
It didn't kill me tho, and the discomfort I suffered doesn't seem too bad to me now looking back....I learned to deal with feeling pretty quickly
Please stick with it (and us) J
D
It didn't kill me tho, and the discomfort I suffered doesn't seem too bad to me now looking back....I learned to deal with feeling pretty quickly
Please stick with it (and us) J
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 1,552
My brain and self just disconnected from here, AA, my creator everything. I could not snap back. I have it back but I don't want that to happen again.
I couldn't call anyone, go to a meeting, pray...I blocked it out. It was like some odd survival mechanism that I had no control over. None! My sober happy focused me was just drowning in out of control emotions for a good 12 hours straight. Is this a common thing? 30 something days...I lost count. And my sponsor is useless. I'll get into that some other day.
Jennifer
I couldn't call anyone, go to a meeting, pray...I blocked it out. It was like some odd survival mechanism that I had no control over. None! My sober happy focused me was just drowning in out of control emotions for a good 12 hours straight. Is this a common thing? 30 something days...I lost count. And my sponsor is useless. I'll get into that some other day.
Jennifer
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,378
I called it my fugue state, or auto pilot.
I found that with practice I could make myself post here or call someone or, at worst, simply go to bed and stay there until the paralysis/desire left me.
D
I found that with practice I could make myself post here or call someone or, at worst, simply go to bed and stay there until the paralysis/desire left me.
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 1,552
Wow! I'm so glad you have this. Not glad glad, but u know what I mean. What an odd, horrible feeling. It's like complete instinctual operation. I'm glad it is over. I will name it autopilot as well. And hopefully I can recognize it when it happens again.
Jennifer
Jennifer
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
Hi.
When I first got sober I was a mess mentally and physically because of all the toxic alcohol I drank for too long a period. I had expectations of being joyous happy and free within a month because I was following directions now by getting active and going to a lot of meetings etc.
Part of my ism is being undisciplined and I wanted all the benefits NOW. People just smiled and said it takes that four letter word TIME. Boy did I get a bunch of mini resentments because I didn’t want that as an answer, poor little boy!
I can say now, a lot of years later that it works when we work the 12 steps. In fact many of the promises came true with me not drinking one day at a time.
BE WELL
When I first got sober I was a mess mentally and physically because of all the toxic alcohol I drank for too long a period. I had expectations of being joyous happy and free within a month because I was following directions now by getting active and going to a lot of meetings etc.
Part of my ism is being undisciplined and I wanted all the benefits NOW. People just smiled and said it takes that four letter word TIME. Boy did I get a bunch of mini resentments because I didn’t want that as an answer, poor little boy!
I can say now, a lot of years later that it works when we work the 12 steps. In fact many of the promises came true with me not drinking one day at a time.
BE WELL
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
I seemed to do pretty well the first 9 months of sobriety...
Then things seemed to shift and I have been having a tough time emotionally and mentally.
I know it is a stage and it is also growth. Along the way though, there are some days I just want to be free of it all and put the sadness and stress and anxiety behind me.
I just want to FEEL GOOD. All the time!!!!
Hmmm... And that right there is why I drank and drugged for so many years!
Hang in there. Learning to live takes time, but even with the challenges it is so much better than living in the darkness of addiction.
Then things seemed to shift and I have been having a tough time emotionally and mentally.
I know it is a stage and it is also growth. Along the way though, there are some days I just want to be free of it all and put the sadness and stress and anxiety behind me.
I just want to FEEL GOOD. All the time!!!!
Hmmm... And that right there is why I drank and drugged for so many years!
Hang in there. Learning to live takes time, but even with the challenges it is so much better than living in the darkness of addiction.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: New York
Posts: 1,372
Im glad you got through that countrygirl. It can be so hard, I know - but every time you make it through one of those challenges and recognize what's happening, it will make the next time easier to deal with. You are building your sober strength - well done!
Wu Wei
Join Date: May 2014
Location: So. California, USA
Posts: 351
One of the most important things I have learned in recovery, after many unsuccessful tries, is to hold-on and live through these difficult times, but not to pick up a drink. My intellectual mind has learned that this state is temporary and will soon pass. When I live through it it always dissipates.
But it is still Sh_ty while your in the midst of it.
Hang on and wait for the miracle.
Eternal Now
But it is still Sh_ty while your in the midst of it.
Hang on and wait for the miracle.
Eternal Now
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