Coffeenotbooze

So as a lot of you know I was on a hunting trip with 3 other drinkers for the past week. As I type there drinking...I'm sober today.
Many of you said not to go on the trip. Some said to go. Even though on day 21 I got drunk....I'm glad I went. Not happy about drinking last night. But I am happy I had a great 7 days of hunting with great friends and didn't let booze stop me from doing what I love to do. Nobody offered me a drink. I grabbed a beer and then kept grabbing. But I did learn I can be around alcohol and not drink. Many of you miss out on gatherings because alcohol is present. I sat at the same table with drinkers playing cards, sharing stories and eating meals for 7 full days and on the 8th I grabbed a beer and drank. Truth is I guess at that moment I wanted a drink more then sobriety. Today I want sobriety. Because we all share the same 'trouble' does not mean we have to curl up in our homes and not live our lives because alcohol is present ...we just have to keep our hands on our water or coffee or pop and not on the bottle. I'm happy I faced my demon head on this last week...20 sober days out of 21 is a pretty good score. None of us are perfect...all we can do is LIVE and learn. I would of drove to the store to buy beer last night...

Coffee

lighteningbug

I guess it all depends on where you are in your recovery. I am on day one (again). I would never sit around with a bunch of drinkers. But if i was seasoned i could probably do it. Sorry you lapsed, though, i hope it doesn't set off anything. Sometimes it takes only one to lead you off your path. Glad you had a good time with your friends.

Bug

least

I hope this lesson is the last one you'll need.

MelindaFlowers

It sounds to me like you are wanting to limit your drinking rather than stop drinking. Am I right?

gippy1968

I definitely don't stay curled up at home and not live my life because alcohol is present. I just carefully pick and choose the environments that I place myself into.

7 days in a cabin playing cards, eating & bs'ing while I am the only non-drinker? No way Jose.

I, like you, would've ended up drinking.

Dee74

Let me share my experience.
I kept away from all things involving alcohol for a long time, until I was sure I was committed entirely to my recovery.

I called it developing my sober muscles and that took time.

I wasn't a hermit tho - I went out, I met people people, I had fun...I just didn't involve alcohol or drinkers.

I hate being a hard ass, but you didn't learn this at all CNB - you drank, man.

You managed teeth grindingly not to drink for 7 days -but teeth grinding willpower wears us down and makes us tired.

I know the situation...I tried many times to live my old life just without drinking.

Everytime I managed not to drink I thought I'd cracked it, but sooner or later I drank again.

I failed every time not even realising I was setting myself up for an inevitable fall.

I needed to change my life because my old life was all about drinkers and drinking.

I fear very much you might be setting yourself up for the same fall coffeenotbooze.

D

Jwalker

I have to agree with D. Now I can be around alcohol and not drink -- but I have an exit plan. I take my car, have a sober friend with me, etc. I could not have said that at 20 days sober!

My life is full with friends, family, and social gatherings. Being sober does not mean that you have to sit in a cave -- one does have to be careful and aware of their own limitations though!

Jwalker

MIRecovery

If I played Russian roulette and 5 out of 6 times the gun did not go off I would not call that a success because it is that 6th round that is a major problem.

The simple fact is you drank which means you are not sober or at the very least you were not sober when you were drinking.

I avoid drinking situations for one reason and that is I am much more likely to drink. Very basic and very simple concept. I have created a very full, rich, and rewarding life that does not have alcohol in it.

LimaBean3000

I agree with gippy. An AA friend always says "if you sit in the barber chair long enough you're going to end up getting a haircut."

Sorry you drank. Maybe try sober places and sober faces for a good while until you have some solid sobriety. I'm glad you had fun hunting though. Don't beat yourself up (it doesn't sound like you are), just learn from it.

Coffeenotbooze

I think most of you are missing the point. I didn't go to a Halloween party, a bar or a wedding social. I new quite well what I was getting myself into. Next years trip is already planned. Being around other drinkers isn't why I drank. If I could manage 7 days I could have done 8...instead I chose to drink...just like everyone else when there back on day 1.

matilda123

Hmmm...I'm not sure folks are missing the point. You are absolutely right: you chose to drink. I just remember reading your posts before and during the trip, and it seemed like you really didn't want to drink,and thought you wouldn't be tempted to drink while on the trip (or that you could withstand the temptation). I guess the question really is, if one doesn't want to drink, should one put oneself in the place of temptation? But maybe it doesn't matter,like you said, if you wanted to drink.

I go out with friends--actually having dinner tomorrow with a friend who makes a wicked G&T. But I probably myself wouldn't hang out with some folks right now, or in some situations, because my "sober muscles," as Dee puts it, aren't that well developed yet. And I don't want to drink.

Lusher

Hey Coffeenotbooze-

I can appreciate where you're coming from. If your goal is to be 100% abstinent of alcohol, then I just wanted to throw out some support.

Personally, I do feel that I could probably go out and actually only have a couple of beers, however as I've mentioned before, my entire night would then be consumed with fighting the urge for another. Then who knows where that will lead the next time out?

My position is that if a person has a problem with alcohol, and they truly want to stop drinking, then I tend to side with being a non-drinker 100% of the time, without compromise. I will admit that I have missed out on some fun stuff. Some of it really would not be all that fun without alcohol and it's those that I avoid at all cost.
So true. We can only learn from what life throws our way.


Lusher

ScottFromWI

I will admit I am missing your point.

Hawks

If you learn from that, good

Played with fire, got a first degree burn.

Might end up with 3rd degree next time.

MelindaFlowers

Well they say if you can't manage 30 days then you've got a big problem.

MIRecovery

I can only speak from personal experience. Every time I went toe to toe with alcohol I got the snot knocked out of me and trust me I got the snot knocked out of me more times than I can count.

Eventually I gave up the fight. Alcohol was more powerful than I was and when I accepted this fact of life and surrendered life become so much easier.

It would seem you have more will power than I do and are willing to jump right back into the ring and challenge alcohol.

LBrain

thanks for posting coffee, you didn't run and hide.
I agree with Dee. However, I was also one who understands the hunt and knew you were going no matter what. You will be better prepared next year.

Mark1014

Good morning coffee,

The title of your post was 'lesson learned', so I'm going to congratulate you on that AND the 20+ days (with one slip up) of not drinking! To encourage you, I would also say that I can see how missing a trip you've had planned for so long would have bummed you out so much that it would have also moved you to consider drinking. That's history now. I'm so glad that you're sticking around here for your 'today' and your future. By next year's hunt you will have had plenty of time to flex and build the sober muscles! So I wish you a great Sunday, make it a good one.
Speaking of flexing, I'm off to the gym for my workout.

SixStringZen

Exactly...99% of jumping off a building is probably pretty peaceful...but that inevitable end? Oy....

Nuudawn

Did you? Yes...many of us do choose to "miss" gatherings or avoid certain situations in early sobriety because we realize we are perhaps not quite solid enough on our legs yet to MAINTAIN sobriety...

It's awesome that you did have some sober experiences on your hunting trip...but please at a mere few weeks sober...and with a hangover...

Perhaps "go easy" on addressing comments to the group about what can and cannot be achieve in early sobriety...

We need to check in with ourselves all the time about what we can and cannot handle...

Sorry to be harsh..but I dunno...the "many of you miss gatherings" b.s burns my butt as it's sounding a little holier than thou...with a hangover.