Question about AA
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 73
Question about AA
I'll be attending my third meeting tonight. As I've said in my other posts, I really like it.
However, there is a young guy who has been at both I've been to. He's shown up drunk telling the same story of how he did great all day until 45 minutes ago.
Both nights he's taken his 24 hour chip and thrown it on the moderators desk only to pick up a new one at the end of the meeting. He made a huge scene last night and one member took him into the hallway where some kind of scuffle happened.
To my question. I really feel for the guy and hope he gets help. But, is there a limit to how much AA will allow? Any advice as to how I should handle this?
However, there is a young guy who has been at both I've been to. He's shown up drunk telling the same story of how he did great all day until 45 minutes ago.
Both nights he's taken his 24 hour chip and thrown it on the moderators desk only to pick up a new one at the end of the meeting. He made a huge scene last night and one member took him into the hallway where some kind of scuffle happened.
To my question. I really feel for the guy and hope he gets help. But, is there a limit to how much AA will allow? Any advice as to how I should handle this?
Guest
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 43
"The only requirement for AA is a desire to stop drinking." Sounds like he's pretty entertaining! Can you try to look at it that way? Lol. Or you could look at him with pity. Have you asked your sponsor about this? He/she could answer this.
For the time being maybe you could go to a different meeting if he's really bothering you???
I always find it interesting when drunk people go to AA meetings. I've never understood that. If I'm drunk the last place I want to be is an AA meeting. Odd.
For the time being maybe you could go to a different meeting if he's really bothering you???
I always find it interesting when drunk people go to AA meetings. I've never understood that. If I'm drunk the last place I want to be is an AA meeting. Odd.
I know it's hard not to get involved but I really think that's not your side of the street to clean TH....y'know?
You're new...you should be focusing on you right now...hopefully those with more experience will take this guy under their wing
D
You're new...you should be focusing on you right now...hopefully those with more experience will take this guy under their wing
D
Guest
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 1,476
Let's not forget where we came from in AA.
I could behave or I could be drunk.... I just never seemed to be able to do both at once.
He sounds like my kind of drinker.
I've been in a few meetings with wet alcoholics.
It's important for me to have empathy for the alcoholic who still suffers..... Having said that, it can be a patience testing event.
I could behave or I could be drunk.... I just never seemed to be able to do both at once.
He sounds like my kind of drinker.
I've been in a few meetings with wet alcoholics.
It's important for me to have empathy for the alcoholic who still suffers..... Having said that, it can be a patience testing event.
Right now, you are looking for a solution yourself. Down the line, you will be able to twelve step and help such a person or at least see him as a reminder of what alcohol does to us.
I would suggest that if it really bothers you and distract you to go to a different meeting.
Some AAs might disagree with me but I feel that as a newcomer, you are already raw enough and should not have to practice patience and tolerance in what should be a nurturing, learning environment.
And yes, people who are under the influence are welcome as long as they want to quit drinking. Most are not disruptive but some are. Tolerance for disruption varies from group to group and also depending on the secretary.
I would suggest that if it really bothers you and distract you to go to a different meeting.
Some AAs might disagree with me but I feel that as a newcomer, you are already raw enough and should not have to practice patience and tolerance in what should be a nurturing, learning environment.
And yes, people who are under the influence are welcome as long as they want to quit drinking. Most are not disruptive but some are. Tolerance for disruption varies from group to group and also depending on the secretary.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 374
There is a lady who also has schizophrenia and farts with abandon at one of my group meetings. It can be really amusing and trying as well.
One of the main guys at my home group has been sober for 8 years , but he used to come to them drunk. He was trying so hard, and one day it finally clicked. Hope that the man at your meeting is low key when you go next.
One of the main guys at my home group has been sober for 8 years , but he used to come to them drunk. He was trying so hard, and one day it finally clicked. Hope that the man at your meeting is low key when you go next.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: San Diego, California
Posts: 66
I've been to a few meetings with wet drunks. Here in So Cal, it is protocol to welcome everyone, and if someone is being disruptive, it is the secretary's job to ask them to leave -- for any reason.
Being new to the program, if it is bothersome to you, find another meeting for now.
Congratulations on getting connected in the program!
Jwalker
Being new to the program, if it is bothersome to you, find another meeting for now.
Congratulations on getting connected in the program!
Jwalker
Work in progress...
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 73
He was there again tonight. Drunk with the same story. He didn't take a 24 hour chip tonight.
I thought about what y'all said for a bit. At the end of the meeting, I introduced myself to him. He didn't want anything to do with me. I don't know why, but I took my 24 hour chip that I got on Wednesday out of my pocket and gave it to him.
I'm not telling y'all this to brag. I genuinely want to say thank you for giving me direction. Your insights were spot on.
I thought about what y'all said for a bit. At the end of the meeting, I introduced myself to him. He didn't want anything to do with me. I don't know why, but I took my 24 hour chip that I got on Wednesday out of my pocket and gave it to him.
I'm not telling y'all this to brag. I genuinely want to say thank you for giving me direction. Your insights were spot on.
My sponsor would say, "A drunk at an AA meeting. Who'da thunk"
Drunks at AA meetings are welcome as long as they are respectful and reasonably well behaved.
You do not need to be involved let the Chairperson handle it and or some of the long term group members
Drunks at AA meetings are welcome as long as they are respectful and reasonably well behaved.
You do not need to be involved let the Chairperson handle it and or some of the long term group members
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: liverpool, england
Posts: 1,708
There is a lady who also has schizophrenia and farts with abandon at one of my group meetings. It can be really amusing and trying as well.
One of the main guys at my home group has been sober for 8 years , but he used to come to them drunk. He was trying so hard, and one day it finally clicked. Hope that the man at your meeting is low key when you go next.
One of the main guys at my home group has been sober for 8 years , but he used to come to them drunk. He was trying so hard, and one day it finally clicked. Hope that the man at your meeting is low key when you go next.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: liverpool, england
Posts: 1,708
we have the odd one turn up drunk in meetings and for new comers i understand it can be a bit alarming, but its the nature of the help we are in
we dont just help sober people try to stay sober we help people who can not stop getting drunk
i was once like it and most of us were all like it
so for me a drunk who shows up carrys the most important message i can ever see
lets hope the fella gets some seeds planted by coming along to the meeting drunk as one day you might just see him change and start to be sober
i have seen so many come in and get well thats what feeds my own soul or makes me believe in aa so much as even the worse case can get better
so lets hope next time you go there the lad might be sober who knows ? but if it is to upsetting for you then there are plenty of other meetings to go to however there is no guarantee that a drunk will not show up in any meeting on any night all over the world so there out there all the time hence aa is out there waiting for them : )
we dont just help sober people try to stay sober we help people who can not stop getting drunk
i was once like it and most of us were all like it
so for me a drunk who shows up carrys the most important message i can ever see
lets hope the fella gets some seeds planted by coming along to the meeting drunk as one day you might just see him change and start to be sober
i have seen so many come in and get well thats what feeds my own soul or makes me believe in aa so much as even the worse case can get better
so lets hope next time you go there the lad might be sober who knows ? but if it is to upsetting for you then there are plenty of other meetings to go to however there is no guarantee that a drunk will not show up in any meeting on any night all over the world so there out there all the time hence aa is out there waiting for them : )
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: liverpool, england
Posts: 1,708
I've seen people show up drunk to a meeting, we have a regular at my Tuesday meeting and she loves to share but it's really rambly and incoherent. We recently asked that she listen and she has. This morning we had a guy have a total melt down... Cursing, yelling ... and he was sober. Some of the guys cut him off and then talked to him after, I figure he was in a lot of pain and I'm glad that they were talking to him.
I would let the folks with more experience help him, you take care of yourself for now. Get a sponsor, do what you need to do. Glad you're going back.
I would let the folks with more experience help him, you take care of yourself for now. Get a sponsor, do what you need to do. Glad you're going back.
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